its not really what i wanted, as i wanted an actual relationship with this person, but it's the only relationship i don't regret. he made it very clear that he didnt want a relationship and all that, but would be there for whatever i needed or wanted. he was clear that he'd probably do the same thing with other people as well. i used to get jealous about it, just thinking of him possibly being with someone else, but i'm over it for the most part. yeah, i have feelings for him, but i realize that he will never have feelings for me. at least not in the way i'd like. i'm fine with just being really good friends who happen to make out and stuff sometimes. it's fun.
kind of realizing that humans arent naturally monogamous helped. and also realizing that just because he's with other people doesnt change things between us or our relationship. i'm fine with him maybe making out and stuff with other girls. and he says he doesnt care if i make out and stuff with other guys. though if i ended up being in an actual exclusive relationship, i'd of course have to go back to just be friends with him and draw some lines.
