TStein

Hi, I am new to these forums, but unfortunately I am not new to the Social Phobia problem.

I passed my whole life with huge difficulties because of it. I am 30 years old and I have no friends netwrok, never had a girlfried and feel unable to do a lot of thing "normal" people consider mundane. For example going to a party or bar.

I wrok with therapist for about 3 years trying to make my life better. But we have been findign very difficult to build a soacila network. Specially my deep desire to live a normal life of a man, have a girlfriend etc... This last item specially. I work in an area where no woman present, and in fact I just realised a few days ago that I don't even speak to a woman for more than a year. And that depressed me a lot... :(

So I came here asking for suggestions. Suggestions or past experiences of yours. How do you make to know people when you are already cut of of a pre build social network (that helps to meet others) and simply is unable to get into social activities like I described? In special how would you search for chances to meet someone so you can maybe have a girlfriend, maybe someday build family. Where would you look for it seen that I feel like straped out of the common tools people have to build a social life?


Any help, constructive comments or suggestions are really appreciated.

BTW, sorry for english errors, its not my native language.

Helyna

Can you join an interest group, take a class at a community college, or go to the gym? These are a few ways to meet people. Probably the best thing to do would be to volunteer or join some kind of group of people who do something you are interested in. Then, you would already have an interest in common with the people you meet!

"Usually a person has more faith in their fear than faith in their future."
-Doug Firebaugh

misterF

Hi! I know how you feel about being unable to do what most people would normally do.
What little advice I can give is going to a small class. I've started going to Thai class and have met a few people who are very nice. I've declined their invitations to go out at night as I'm so scarred they'll realize how boring I can be with strangers, but like I said, I did make contact with nice people.

Good luck!

JonnyD

i think it could help. I've denied a very cool english class , where they look yo your level of knowlege and put you in the right way... i feel so stupid because i denied without even thinking , the girl that calledme must had felt so bad :(, that's just a thing in my unending list of stupid things i did becaus i was afraid.


about the english classes, i speak portuguese, english is my second language... i read , write and understand the spoken language but i've nerver talked in english more then a few words, my accend must be very stupid, and some grammar would be good don't you think?

If anyone what to chat through MSN please send a PM, i know i will be very shy , but i need to try!