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Old 11-06-2009  
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Default Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

This is something thats really been bugging me lately and I've never noticed how bad it was until recently. For some odd reason when I'm trying to talk to people I can never articulate or connect my thoughts.

For instance Ill be trying to tell someone a story or trying to describe something to them but I can never do so coherently in a way that makes sense. Everytime I try to I either jumble my words,have long pauses, or end up saying something stupid and out of context. On top of that I never really get my point across and by the time I'm finished talking the person listening has completely lost interest in what I was trying to say. Before talking I usually have an idea of what I wanna say, but then when I go to speak my mind starts racing and I can't think things through clearly.

That isn't my only problem with communicating. Often times I struggle to find things to say in social situations because my mind constantly draws a blank. All of this has prevented me from making and maintaining friends. Instead of trying to be outgoing I've become painfully shy and reserved.

Whenever I look around I see that this type of thing is a non issue for everyone else and it really frustrates me. I think to myself what do these people have that im lacking? It just feels like I have this huge mental block that I cant get over. Can anyone else relate to this?

Last edited by WirelessBrain; 11-25-2009 at 08:45 AM..
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Old 11-06-2009  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

I can relate, yes. It happens when i'm too nervous. I remain mute or I just talk random and nonsense because my mind goes blank or because I can't put my thoughts into words.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -Albert Einstein
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Old 11-06-2009  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

I can relate to everything you've said. I find myself entertaining apocalyptic visions from within extreme social isolation. I'm happy I found this forum, I used to think there was no one quite like me. I feel more normal already
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Old 11-06-2009  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

that is exactly how i am all the ****in time.its a pain in the *** tryin to explain this shit to people who dont have this problem themselves
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Old 11-06-2009  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

Hey man. I started an account on this page after reading your thread to tell you that you're not alone....I feel the exact same way.

As much as you try to hide it, you can never fully disguise it. I've finished plenty of conversations with strangers in awkward silences, due to my incoherent ramblings and mind-blocks.

It's the fear of the other person judging and thinking negatively towards us that makes us lose confidence in what we're saying. People say I shouldn't care what other people think of me but it's easier said than done.

The problem you're talking about I experience invariably when meeting new people. I used to work as a cashier in a supermarket and, well, let's just say I wasn't the clientele's favorite. I'm painfully shy and when I attempt to put myself out there, I either freeze or stumble on my words. I'm not good at making friends either. I'm a very nonchalant person so people usually label me as "stuck up" or "pompous" when really, it's the complete opposite. I hardly have the courage to converse with new faces.

Only in the last year have I started to admit to myself that I have a problem. My social-phobia and depression have never been more prominent so I'm thankful I've stumbled across this message board. I think I'll be visiting this place more frequently.

Anyways, you're definitely not alone and it's reassuring for me to see that someone else shares the problem with me.
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Old 11-06-2009  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

This is a problem for most of us, I think, and other people don't understand, usually.

The worst thing for me is a conversation with someone I kind of know, but I'm not really friends with or if I'm not even sure they like me. The other week I ran into a girl who was in one of my classes last semester and we were both walking back to our dorms, and there was a really awkward silence, so I started crapping on about how I was worried about being swooped by plovers...and how my dad got his eyelid cut by a bird that swooped him...and how someone at my primary school actually got his eyeball cut by a bird that swooped him...which is all weird and random enough, but my sentences sounded like - I mean I was talking like - I just couldn't - um - couldn't finish - I mean - get out the w- um...the um... (lol!)

Why you're not crippled, you just have a little defect hardly noticeable, even! When people have some slight disadvantage like that, they cultivate other things to make up for it develop charm and vivacity and charm!

Want an axe to break the ice
Wanna come down right now...
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Old 11-06-2009  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

Supposedly it has something to do with the flight-or-fight response, we're too busy subconsciously looking for threats and consciously trying to think that it becomes difficult.
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Old 11-06-2009  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

that only happens when im talking to strangers or figures of authority.. Im fine with my friends..even funny sometimes, but when it comes to others I sound like porky pig. Its really hurting my chance at becoming a speech pathologist.
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Old 04-12-2011  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

I want to overcome this difficulty and would appreciate if anyone has tips or tools on how to tackle it. I like to listen to people who articulates his or her thoughts with ease - words just flow off the lips effortlessly and coherently. I would one day hope that happens to me. I just want to carry on a intelligent conversation with people, and I want friends.

Thanks in anticipation of any suggestion.
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Old 04-13-2011  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

This is a problem people with ADHD have. I was recently relieved of this problem after getting medicated for ADHD. Instead of stumbling over all of my words as usual, they now seem to flow out of my mouth without effort. Until a few weeks ago I had never experienced this profound clarity of thought, as I've always considered the cluttered mind I'd known forever was normal. It turned out, in my case, that anxiety (panic disorder) was only a result of the bigger problem, which I now know as ADHD (predominately inattentive subtype).

Not to say any of you have this. I simply wish to throw it out there since I suffered through a mysterious and disabling case of panic disorder for 5 years before I made this revelation. It might be worth looking into is all I'm really saying.

Peace
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Old 04-13-2011  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

Wow... this is EXACTLY the way I feel in pretty much every conversation, even when I'm talking to people I'm comfortable with. I was just thinking of starting a post about it but I couldn't figure out how to explain it lol. My teachers have always told me I'm a great writer and I seem to be able to formulate the most eloquent speeches and presentations in my head, but when it comes to verbalizing any of it, I just get totally overwhelmed and can't come up with a single comprehensible sentence.

I've always wondered if there could be some sort of physiological explanation for this because it just feels like the parts of my brain aren't communicating with each other sometimes. I do think it's probably partly due to the whole fight or flight thing, but your suggestion about ADHD is also really interesting. I've been having a LOT of trouble concentrating recently and getting things done as quickly as I used to. I think I've always had trouble with it, but it seems to get worse the more stressed out I am with schoolwork and all this SA stuff. I don't know if I could actually have a diagnosable attention disorder, but it's definitely something to consider. Thanks for sharing!
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Old 04-13-2011  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

Another explanation for this is that negative thoughts are interfering. If you are worried about yourself it becomes difficult to focus on the outside world. In a CBT exercise we deliberately had to focus on ourselves while speaking to someone, and it did make the conversation impossible. That may be why it feels as if different parts of the brain are not communicating with each other.

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Old 04-14-2011  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

Like others I can totally relate. I feel nervous my mind goes blank I ramble, not getting to any point. It sucks. I talk just fine when I'm by myself (I talk to my self lol) I think I'm going to try to pretend like I'm just talking in my room by myself next time I try talking to someone.

LOL at googles avatar Burt cracks me up in that pic.
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Old 04-14-2011  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

Hi. Yes, this is a common symptom for those of us with SA. It can be incredibly frustrating, especially when, later on, you replay in your mind how many opportunities were let 'slip away' by not being able to just say something, to get the syntax right, or by plainly not having a completely blank mind at the moment.

The answer is ridiculous in that you have to be completely at ease. Once that nervousness, tension, and anxiety is removed, the flow of words and ideas and wit come smoothly without hesitation.

Like Alexfangirl says, by ourselves, we probably (you should know) are all excellent public speakers, as long as no one else is around.

As for how to stop analyzing yourself, everyone around you, and the situation you're in so your brain can just relax and let you be yourself, well....
That's what we're here to find out .

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Take a look in your photobook: I'm not there anymore..."
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Old 04-14-2011  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

I agree with...um...um...um...ah...um...
with Blue-Roses.
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Old 04-14-2011  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hastings & Main View Post
Hi. Yes, this is a common symptom for those of us with SA. It can be incredibly frustrating, especially when, later on, you replay in your mind how many opportunities were let 'slip away' by not being able to just say something, to get the syntax right, or by plainly not having a completely blank mind at the moment.

The answer is ridiculous in that you have to be completely at ease. Once that nervousness, tension, and anxiety is removed, the flow of words and ideas and wit come smoothly without hesitation.

Like Alexfangirl says, by ourselves, we probably (you should know) are all excellent public speakers, as long as no one else is around.

As for how to stop analyzing yourself, everyone around you, and the situation you're in so your brain can just relax and let you be yourself, well....
That's what we're here to find out .
THIS



Now to do it; the other half of the battle.

"You may have a fresh start at any moment you choose for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down."---Mary Pickford.

"Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain." ---R.W Emerson

"I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky! Like a LEMUR defying the laws of gravity."---Queen
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Old 04-14-2011  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

relate.

sometimes i wonder if there is a correlation between this and the amount of tv one watched as a kid (combined with a lack of socialization). when the brain is in development perhaps we relied on the tv for "input" making us very good at absorbing information. but since there was little exercise of "output" (speaking, verbalizing) the "output" area of our brain is less developed. this is just a theory i've thought up, don't know if it's true.
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Old 04-14-2011  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

hey, stop thinking the way you do; you are the only one to blame for having this mental problem. YOU created it and you keep feeding into it. Take some control of your life, if you keep thinking those thoughts and doing the same thing you won't change. You have to condition your subconscious mind to better thoughts, you have to free yourself from these evil thoughts. Affirm to yourself everyday " i am free of social phobia," My mind is always clear and peaceful". Use the power of visualization and see yourself the best way you can. Meditation Can really influence your subconscious. Just reprogram your mind; Change your beliefs change your life. Stop listening the those thoughts that go on in your head all day long just keep clearing them from your mind. Practice mind control and stop caring what others think. It's just pointless. You think one day everything will be OK well it won't. You live one day at a time and you have to change everyday. So stop complaining about yourself or the world, get rid of the negative stuff and change. It's your life, don;t live it for others live life for yourself. I preach what i say. I suffer from hyperhidrosis (sever sweating) but you know what, i have taken control of it. It's practically not a problem in my life and more. I could of had a host of mental problems life you people but i didn't let that poison happen to me.
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Old 04-14-2011  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

ugh. hate this. i think its because my mind starts searching for the 'perfect' response.. in the end just comes across as akward..
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Old 04-14-2011  
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Default Re: Difficulty Articulating My Thoughts and Talking?

I completely understand this! My anxiety distracts me and my mind goes blank when I try to speak. It's almost as if the anxiety takes over the part of my brain which enables me to communicate sensibly. I see other popular people being witty, very social and knowing what to say and making everyone laugh and love them, then there's me who can't get past 'How are you? without running out of things to say!'

I end up alone because of it.
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