Do I sound like a hermit to you?

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SadSally

Well-known member
I'm almost 20. I live at home with my mom and brother, they are the only people I have properly interacted with in, well, most of my life. But we don't actually say anything interesting to each other. My brother barely says more than a "hello" to me. I am close to my mom but we don't really have much in common so when we talk it is mostly about celebrity gossip, soap operas and the weather. She doesn't really listen to me though.
I have absolutely no friends, not even a casual aqquaintence. I have only two contacts in my phone, my mom and brother. I no longer attend college and am currently unemployed. The only times I leave the house are to go to the dentist, post office and grocery shopping once a week with my mom. THAT IS IT. I have no life at all. I'm always so bored.

I have only been to the movie theater twice in my life, over ten years ago. Never been to a party or concert. Never been kissed.

I had friends in primary/elementary school but they always ended up ditching me.

I've always been shy, but I used to get bullied by the neighbourhood kids (once friends) when I a kid. I started staying indoors at about age 11 or 12. Almost 10 years later, I only leave the house if essential.
 
alwayssunnyinphiladelphia

alwayssunnyinphiladelphia

Well-known member
I was in the same position as you after dropping out of school never leaving the house or speaking to anybody, trust me you don't want to end up doing nothing for years like I did. if you can you should really try and go back to college or school, is there part time classes in the evening where you live, that is what I did it, ti will give you something to do and focus on and it is probably the best way for you to meet people right now
 
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SadSally

Well-known member
alwayssunnyinphiladelphia said:
I was in the same position as you after dropping out of school never leaving the house or speaking to anybody, trust me you don't want to end up doing nothing for years like I did. if you can you should really try and go back to college or school, is there part time classes in the evening where you live, that is what I did it, ti will give you something to do and focus on and it is probably the best way for you to meet people right now
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But I didn't really drop out, I just didn''t get a grant to go this year, so now I don't know what to do.
 
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Zooman

Well-known member
I mean ya...of course you sound like a hermit? Why would you ask when you already know the answer?
 
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AGR

Well-known member
Well you have your brother,its not too late to get close to him,you can go to anywhere with him,its better than going alone,I wish I had that......
 
Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
Volunteer work, part time job, hobbies. Get out more and just go for a walk, take some pictures, walk your dog if you have one, go for a daily jog with some music in your ears or get on a bus or train and go exploring some nearby towns and locations. Above all, stop allowing yourself to be your own hostage.
 
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StandingJelly

StandingJelly

Well-known member
I think many of us here are hermits, hahas.

I just can't understand how people can exchange phone numbers after meeting the first day. That alone blows me away.

Have you seen some youtube videos? There was this guy in college walking up to people and asking to be friends and exchanged phone numbers. WTF?! That was just what ... 10 seconds?
 
Xervello

Xervello

Well-known member
SadSally said:
I'm almost 20. I live at home with my mom and brother, they are the only people I have properly interacted with in, well, most of my life. But we don't actually say anything interesting to each other. My brother barely says more than a "hello" to me. I am close to my mom but we don't really have much in common so when we talk it is mostly about celebrity gossip, soap operas and the weather. She doesn't really listen to me though.
I have absolutely no friends, not even a casual aqquaintence. I have only two contacts in my phone, my mom and brother. I no longer attend college and am currently unemployed. The only times I leave the house are to go to the dentist, post office and grocery shopping once a week with my mom. THAT IS IT. I have no life at all. I'm always so bored.

I have only been to the movie theater twice in my life, over ten years ago. Never been to a party or concert. Never been kissed.

I had friends in primary/elementary school but they always ended up ditching me.

I've always been shy, but I used to get bullied by the neighbourhood kids (once friends) when I a kid. I started staying indoors at about age 11 or 12. Almost 10 years later, I only leave the house if essential.
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Not literally, but yes you do. What specifically is it that prevents you from going out, socializing? And have you talked to a professional about any of this? Generally speaking, it sounds like severe social anxiety. I've lived similarly for most my adult life. I'm 38 now and for the past ten, twelve years I've lived exclusively indoors, not going out but maybe once, twice a year when forced to because of renewing a driver's license or a dentist appointment, etc. In my early 20's when I began noticing myself withdrawing from the public I thought something would change; that it wouldn't always be like this. The fact is, it only got more severe. The important thing for you is to talk about your feelings, your thoughts, your fears with someone you trust or feel most comfortable with. Then try to seek help wherever it is you need it for whatever it is that's holding you back. If you don't, it might just get worse.
 
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DanielLewis

Well-known member
You sound like you hate living this way, so just start changing your life. Get a job or go to school. Get the ball rolling. The sooner the better.

It may not be easy to make those first steps with SA, but think about what you really want in life. To get what you want, you need to make these first steps. Thus, it's an easy choice for you.
 
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SadSally

Well-known member
Mostly, I think it's because I don't actually have anywhere to be. Now, after years of near isolation, I just feel anxious.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
You are at least with family, so you are not completely alone. A hermit has no-one at all, and of course some choose to be that way.
 
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elephant99

Active member
Isolation is really tough. Maybe you could ask yourself what you would like to be doing with your life? what will you need to be able to do the things you want? therapy is a really good idea, if you have access to it. You deserve to be happy and live the life you want.
 
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bsammy

Well-known member
Xervello said:
Not literally, but yes you do. What specifically is it that prevents you from going out, socializing? And have you talked to a professional about any of this? Generally speaking, it sounds like severe social anxiety. I've lived similarly for most my adult life. I'm 38 now and for the past ten, twelve years I've lived exclusively indoors, not going out but maybe once, twice a year when forced to because of renewing a driver's license or a dentist appointment, etc. In my early 20's when I began noticing myself withdrawing from the public I thought something would change; that it wouldn't always be like this. The fact is, it only got more severe. The important thing for you is to talk about your feelings, your thoughts, your fears with someone you trust or feel most comfortable with. Then try to seek help wherever it is you need it for whatever it is that's holding you back. If you don't, it might just get worse.
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this, your SA will only get worse if you dont take active steps like getting a job or going back to school..you are 20 now and behind socially already so do not let any more ime waste..u will find if u wait until mid or late 20s, u are going to be so far behind it will be impossible to catch up or even fit in any social circle..the more you isolate the bigger the hole you fall into..
 
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bsammy

Well-known member
SadSally said:
Mostly, I think it's because I don't actually have anywhere to be. Now, after years of near isolation, I just feel anxious.
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yes this is why u need to get a part time job or something asap!right now u have nothing to do or nowhere to go, anxiety will continue to get worse this way..find any job and go for it..
 
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