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Old 02-19-2010
alex7's Avatar
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im known as the biggest snob at work. People think i have somethign against them because i dont eat in the lunch room or try to talk to other employees. They really dont have any idea that im shy and just think i hate the world. anyone else can relate?
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Old 02-19-2010
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You look like a snob. (just kidding)
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Old 02-19-2010
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by alex7 View Post
im known as the biggest snob at work. People think i have somethign against them because i dont eat in the lunch room or try to talk to other employees. They really dont have any idea that im shy and just think i hate the world. anyone else can relate?
it just sounds like my story, the difference is that they all pick on me for this, for not talking a lot, for minding my own business (the others all talk to each other), i've stop going to lunch because i was always picked on with unpleasant comments especially about the fact that i don't talk. Maybe it's like you say, that i'm seen like a snob but i think i appear like an unpleasant person for them.
I know that they think i'm shy because they said it to me even directly but what they hate about me is that i'm introvert and insecure, this has caused me many issues at work because here where i live you have to appear always positive and tough otherwise you are considered not suitable for working even if in my case i'm in IT and i deal with tecnical stuff and i'm not like a sales man that need social skills to go on. The biggest issues i ever had had always been with my supervisors and bosses cause you always have to praise them and talk to them otherwise you'll get in trouble with them and then you end up screwed.
They think it's my fault cause i remain in my shell, if only they could imagine that i've got SA and what this is all about.

I'd advice you to try to do like they do, act like they want you to and so on, only if you're willing to do so and if you can manige to cope with the SA issue, in my case it never worked out
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Old 02-19-2010
 

I remember i was in a bar one night and this dude i'd recently started talking to was like "The day i first met you, i thought you were a complete snob!"
The funniest thing is im anything but that! It was just that i was so quiet around strangers!
evil feline space cadet is offline  
Old 02-19-2010
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by x_No_Oil_Painting_x View Post
I remember i was in a bar one night and this dude i'd recently started talking to was like "The day i first met you, i thought you were a complete snob!"
The funniest thing is im anything but that! It was just that i was so quiet around strangers!
x_No_Oil_Painting_x, i know this maight be off topic but how are the Irish people with people that soffer from SA?
It's only my curiosity cause my company is setting up a office there and they'll send me there for quite a bit (a month i think). Here where i live you are basically screwed if you are shy and insecure, not talking about having SA!
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Old 02-19-2010
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Everyone always gets that first impression of me, and many keep that impression. The vast majority of people think I'm a "snob" or a "****"; I know since the friends I've had over the years told me that after some time. In fact, all of my roommates now think that, despite the fact that I've been living with them for a number of months now.

I know why people get the impression, it may be Schizotypal PD, and I've tried to be more "open" and whatnot. However, 99% of the time being "open" results in me embarrassing myself, so I usually go back to my reclusive ways that seem snobbish to other people.
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Old 02-19-2010
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I can 110% relate to this. People have no idea that we are the complete opposite of snobby or stuck-up. I am just very insecure and apprehensive. I have become more comfortable in my own skin which has led me to "appear" more confident. You just have to get out there and do it. Nothing is going to change unless we change ourselves. Usually I have no interest in what my co-workers are talking about, but I usually try to say something just so I wont appear to be detached, withdrawn, aloof, etc.

My co-workers probably think that I don't like them, but that is not at all the case. I am just quiet and I don't think that I am better than anyone. If anything, most times I have felt inferior to others thus leading me to be withdrawn. It has gotten better over time but it definitely has been a struggle. Again, we just have to put ourselves out there. Sometimes, if you appear to be confident, then it actually turns into real confidence. I am just tired of crying and being angry at myself for my lack of social interaction and relationships. At 25, I have to be more proactive and try to make things better myself instead of just waiting for something to happen.
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Old 02-19-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DanFC View Post
Everyone always gets that first impression of me, and many keep that impression.
Exactly. People simply assume I must be a snob because I'm quiet. That doesn't even seem logical to me, but when being quiet is something that simply wouldn't occur to most people perhaps that's the next most logical conclusion.

Arg.
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Old 02-19-2010
mrb
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iv been called a lot of things in my life but snob , not yet ...
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Old 02-19-2010
 

Yes, I've had people think that I'm a snob and assume that I think I'm better than everyone else...couldn't be further from the truth. That's one of the things I hate most about being socially anxious, coming across as rude.

I like this quote from Larry David: "He's not an @$$hole, he's just shy. I think you have shy/@$$hole confusion, my friend."

People really do have shy/@$$hole confusion! At least Larry David gets it.
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Old 02-19-2010
 

Yup....before I started telling all my friends about my anxiety issues no one knew why I would never go to any events I was invited to. So they all thought I was snubbing them or something. Now I tell anyone I get close to so they know Im far from a snob!
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Old 02-19-2010
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No, they think I'm a sicko.
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Old 02-19-2010
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No, most people just think that I'm crazy and thereby incapable of properly interacting with other people... I can't blame them though, my actions do tend to define me as a total weirdo.
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Old 02-19-2010
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Oh for sure.

And people find me intimidating, too, on first meeting. When people are speaking I kinda look really intense while I listen, I think people feel as if I'm boring down into their soul. And then my replies are slow and concise with little follow-up. So not many people get past that awkward stage with me and get to see the real laid-back me.
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Old 02-19-2010
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by nopark View Post
Oh for sure.

And people find me intimidating, too, on first meeting. When people are speaking I kinda look really intense while I listen, I think people feel as if I'm boring down into their soul. And then my replies are slow and concise with little follow-up. So not many people get past that awkward stage with me and get to see the real laid-back me.
Haha, sounds like my story.
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Old 02-19-2010
 

Oh I'm almost 100% certain people at church think I am a snob. I don't really make eye contact, don't talk to anyone, sometimes I'll try to smile...but it's that "I'm smiling at your but not really looking at you" thing, I get there right when service starts and pretty much book outta there right when it ends, I hide in the bathroom a lot...it sucks. I hate hate hate it that I come off as one. If they get to know me they know I'm not...but I only know a handful of people from church.
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Old 02-19-2010
 

I've had people call me a snob and worse before because I never talked in group situations or did things by myself but if they'd like to assume it, so be it. I'm not going to explain that I'm a shy person because then I'd just get grief for that.
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Old 02-19-2010
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I hope so. I'd rather have people attribute my behavior to snobbery because, well, it's better than them knowing the truth. I don't want people to know that I'm terrified of them.
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Old 02-20-2010
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by itay View Post
x_No_Oil_Painting_x, i know this maight be off topic but how are the Irish people with people that soffer from SA?
It's only my curiosity cause my company is setting up a office there and they'll send me there for quite a bit (a month i think). Here where i live you are basically screwed if you are shy and insecure, not talking about having SA!
Aye its pretty much the same here - unless its factory work - which is extinct now! Where in ireland are they setting up?
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Old 02-20-2010
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Most people just think I'm weird. In my little world being solitary is, well, almost not an option. If people do find me aloof or misinterpret my shyness as arrogance then it would be pretty ironic since I'm the total opposite of being arrogant. Because around them I feel rather insecure.
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