Do quiet people make other people uncomfortable?

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katnic2817

New member
u definitely don't sound like u have sa

seems ur defending the other side. self absorbed? so everyone with social phobia is self-absorbed? i think most people with social phobia do not like attention or want attention drawn to themselves. they try to avoid that. so we are avoiding attention from other people yet self-absorbed? i guess i call that caring more about myself and my life other than someone else s life.
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
Odo said:
I've noticed that some people-- even most people-- actually get really angry if you're just sitting there not saying anything. And at that point you're stuck in a catch-22 because if you leave you're going to put a lot of people off and they'll probably talk about you when you're gone, but if you stay you're also going to put them off and yet they'll avoid confronting you and just get angry later on.

To be honest, at that point I would say getting out of there is probably the best option-- they're going to be pissed off either way so at least you're sparing yourself some agony.
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I don't get it. Why would people get angry at quiet people who don't say anything? At least they're not making trouble right?

In this situation, I would leave too. No point in sitting there pretending to be extroverted just to please other people.
 
OceanMist

OceanMist

Well-known member
beachbum said:
I don't understand this. Why do confident and/ or loud people get nervous and are uncomfortable around quiet people like us? Speaking for myself, I am just as nervous and uncomfortable around loud and outspoken people. They are so confident that they make you feel so small and invisible, almost like they do it on purpose. :roll:
Has anyone experienced this? Do you know what I'm talking about?
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One person wants to talk and one person doesn't want to talk. That can make things uncomfortable.

Outgoing people are used to being catered to by reactions and talking from most people so the quiet person that arrives on the scene can be a bad experience for them and they can even see that experience as dull because the outgoing person sees talking as entertainment.
 
OceanMist

OceanMist

Well-known member
jaim38 said:
I don't get it. Why would people get angry at quiet people who don't say anything?
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Because of human nature. We are social creatures. Talk is natural.

If someone isn't being social, they are defying nature so there will be creatures (people) who will not like the person who is going against nature.

It's why being asocial is shunned upon by most of society. Society=social=nature=comfort, if that makes sense.
 
LA-girl

LA-girl

Well-known member
I have noticed oftentimes when at parties, weddings etc. I may sit in a small group, nobody is talking. We just sit there looking around in this awkward silence. And I have found that even if the other people are not shy, they don't always take the inititive to start a conversation , and I of all people have to take the initiative and keep the conversation going, because the silence is worse than anything. Ironic huh?
 
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laure15

Well-known member
Yeah yesterday I called my friend and I'm usually the one asking questions and trying to keep the conversation flowing. Maybe it's because I didn't want the call to go to waste, money down the drain. We were both awkward. She was fumbling over her words and pausing a lot. I also struggled to say things. Just hearing myself speaking in broken, grammatically incorrect sentences is embarassing but I forced myself to keep on going. Overall I'm proud of myself for taking the initiative, but if she were to visit me we wouldn't be spending most of our time talking.
 
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