Do u ever get p*ssed off that youve wasted your life?

Like many guys I regret not being popular and confident with girls in my teenage years...(not as much now)

I had opportunities to have more "intimate" times with girls but I was too stupid to read the signs or too nervous about the procedure of 1st, 2nd, 3rd base etcetera. Too afraid to make mistakes. As a result I didn't lose my virginity for QUITE some time.

But if I look at it in a different light I was lucky. Because 1) I didn't get a girl pregnant 2) I didn't marry early 3) I don't have any children out of wedlock to support 4) I didn't get any sexual diseases 5) I was able to focus on my studies/hobby and career more in my early twenties. 6) I could play catch up with dating girls in my late 20's early 30's

YES. I'm 21 years old. Never had a girlfriend. Used to have a lot of close friends until I fell down to a deep depression and became very socially anxious and awkward. So anxious that I'm too anxious to commit suicide. I got very fat. Currently have no job. Cant keep a job long enough. Barely graduated high school. No college education. Still lives with my parents. Being pressured by my family. Being yelled by my dad everyday for being a loser like him.

I should hang out more with my friends instead of ignoring them. I should have moved out when I still had money and job.

NightsWatchBro said:

YES. I'm 21 years old. Never had a girlfriend. Used to have a lot of close friends until I fell down to a deep depression and became very socially anxious and awkward. So anxious that I'm too anxious to commit suicide. I got very fat. Currently have no job. Cant keep a job long enough. Barely graduated high school. No college education. Still lives with my parents. Being pressured by my family. Being yelled by my dad everyday for being a loser like him.I should hang out more with my friends instead of ignoring them. I should have moved out when I still had money and job.

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sorry to hear that...you have my sympathy...none of my business but you need to get away from your father asap

antihistamine said:

I had opportunities to have more "intimate" times with girls but I was too stupid to read the signs or too nervous about the procedure of 1st, 2nd, 3rd base etcetera. Too afraid to make mistakes. As a result I didn't lose my virginity for QUITE some time.

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This sounds exactly like me, except I'm still a virgin. How did you finally conquer that?

MikeyC said:

This sounds exactly like me, except I'm still a virgin. How did you finally conquer that?

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, confidence

prefer not to go into the gory details.......I think you actually have to make it a goal to enjoy women's company..and when the time comes be up front and direct... just work on your own self-belief.....like any goal you have to do your homework, practice positive feelings and mood with motivational music......I actually had to pretend I was outgoing and extroverted.for a while...it worked to some extent...but I much prefer being my own lay back self than like that

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Late 20's isn't that old. I've met plenty of people in college in their 40's and even 50's just trying to get things started (or restarted). I think the key is not to live in the past but think about the present in the future. We can only change how we think about the past. But we can change ourselves in the present.

I think you should try to switch to a future oriented perspective and try not to dwell on the past. Negative emotions like tend to take up our positive energy. (Here's a cool article about the relationship of triggers to emotions that helped me to "rewire" my thinking. It might be useful to you: therapists depression San Rafael, Anxiety treatment Mill Valley DR. STEVE ORMA - Individual & Group Therapy)

Anyway, I think if you can stop thinking about hte past you'll develop a more positive attitude.

As to your love life, I think the best way to meet people is to find situations that are not high pressure (no bars, for example) and try to meet people through those situations. You're in college, so join a club that really interests you, or get involved in intermural sports, or even volunteer. That way you can meet people who have the same interests more naturally, rather than trying to go up to someone in a bar and start up a conversation.

Good luck.[/QUOTE]

This is good advice i should take seriously regarding the meeting girls part, because drunkenly making a d*ck out of my self in bars and clubs with women and getting told to eff off is not good for someone with low self esteem. At least ive got to the point whereby i am confident enough to know most of these girls arent worth it. Maybe i should join some sort society or club.

And thanks for the link.

life is not over at 20, or even 25

in fact, it's really just getting started

if you're 20 now and haven't "done anything", just remember that you have the entire length of the life you've already lived to start "doing something" by the time you're only 40

and then you can DOUBLE that number again, and still be kicking at 80

the past is passed

start now

antihistamine said:

, confidence

prefer not to go into the gory details.......I think you actually have to make it a goal to enjoy women's company..and when the time comes be up front and direct... just work on your own self-belief.....like any goal you have to do your homework, practice positive feelings and mood with motivational music......I actually had to pretend I was outgoing and extroverted.for a while...it worked to some extent...but I much prefer being my own lay back self than like that

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Yeah, confidence is something I'll need to work on. I'm glad it worked for you, mate.

Yes I wish I would've took this serious enough and got help and answers for this whole thing sooner. Instead Ive wasted time.