Do you believe people can only judge you negatively...

for the parts of you that you are self conscious of?

Do you believe people can only judge you negatively for the parts of you that you are self conscious of?

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Isn't believing that people can judge you negatively in certain aspects by definition being self-conscious about those aspects? The only part that makes me think here is "only". Of course, people can judge you negatively about every other aspect, too. Not just those you are self-conscious of.

klytus said:

Isn't believing that people can judge you negatively in certain aspects by definition being self-conscious about those aspects? The only part that makes me think here is "only". Of course, people can judge you negatively about every other aspect, too. Not just those you are self-conscious of.

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OK, maybe I should have emphasised 'only'. What I mean is, I suffered years of put downs and negative judgements, some people say you have to accept yourself, well I accept myself, I don't think negatively of myself, but I do believe others will judge me negatively. Its like I have been brainwashed into believing people are so critical and only see my weaknesses. Therefore I am self conscious of the parts of me that I was always judged negatively for. I am just curious as to whether other people believe they will only be judged negatively if people see certain parts of themselves.

I am just curious as to whether other people believe they will only be judged negatively if people see certain parts of themselves.

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I understand your motivation, but this part still appears to be too abstract. Can you be more explicit, please? Are both "people" the same people and who do you refer to by "themselves"?

klytus said:

I understand your motivation, but this part still appears to be too abstract. Can you be more explicit, please? Are both "people" the same people and who do you refer to by "themselves"?

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Is it really that hard to understand?
Let me ask it simply. Do you believe people will only judge you negatively if they see your weaknesses/flaws/imperfections?

How do I delete this post? I knew I shouldn't have bothered coming on here, no one replies, they just find fault with how you have worded the question. Forget this place.

Do you believe people will only judge you negatively if they see your weaknesses/flaws/imperfections?

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I am certain that in the end all people judge. However, I suppose that most people at least try to be tolerant before they jump to unjust conclusions. That is, they will give you a chance, they will wait for you to present certain negative streaks of yours. From that point on, it depends whether they learned to like you or not - if they like you, they will modify their perception of reality such that the most overt flaws of yours be evened out. If they don't, though, a single deviation from their expectations will cause them to judge you negatively.

In reality, there are no weaknesses, flaws or imperfections. Only violations of subjective expectations.

How do I delete this post? I knew I shouldn't have bothered coming on here, no one replies, they just find fault with how you have worded the question. Forget this place.

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Your question was ambiguous. There was no way for me to respond to it in a sensible fashion without assuming too many things. And it is not uncommon that a thread remains unanswered to for at least a day. And one person - that is, me in this case - is not representative of an entire community. If you want hand-wavy answers without much thought, talk to someone else.

I believe that people can judge you on absolutely any little detail. Although for me I have a few things that I am self-conscious about that I am most afraid people will judge me negatively for. These things include the way I am shaped, my hair (body, facial, and head), my crooked chin, my voice, my lack of personality. Although many people might not judge me on these things that I am self conscious about it does not stop me from obsessing about them all the time and doesn't keep me from constantly looking in the reflections of windows and mirrors to see if I look some what okay.

I think that people can or may judge a person based on anything and/or everything. It depends on the person, I suppose. Some people truly try not to judge others while others judge incessantly. In my past, the majority of people have pointed out mostly negative things about me. When a person has been put down so many times, it's only natural that they will belive the things that they were told.

To answer your question, (at least, I hope that this answers your question) I realize that people won't necessarily judge me based on my "imperfections" but it's difficult for me not to believe that they are judging me negatively. I tend to think that people will pick out real or percieved negative aspects about my personality, behavior or looks and judge me based on them. I don't want other people's opinions, judgments or approval to dictate how I should see or feel about myself but that is hard for me. When people do approve of me it's difficult for me to be happy about it because I've been let down in the past. If you know what it's like to feel hated one second and loved another, you know what I'm talking about. It's so dissapointing to be hated so you can't truly cherish being loved. Hmm....That makes me wonder...

Mikey, thanks for this post! Had it not been for you posting this message and had I not decided to answer it, I would have never realized something extremely essential that has been right in front of me for years. Thanks again, dude!