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Old 06-06-2010  
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Default Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside yourself??

The title probably sounds weird, but I was wondering.... Does anyone else feel like the real you is trapped inside of yourself? Like you can't be yourself & the real you just won't come out & is buried inside of you somewhere?

This might not make sense to a lot (or most) people, but ever since I was little, I've always felt that way. I've felt like there's some sort of barrier keeping me from the rest of the world & keeping me from being able to fully exist within it and be myself. I wrote a blog once about what it's like to live my life life inside of a bubble, because that's sort-of what it feels like. I never posted it here because I don't post blogs here (obviously), but that's the closest I can come to really describing it. It feels like I've spent my life inside of a bubble, or a piece of film, or some other invisible barrier that keeps me from being able to really be a part of the world & really be me in it. But really, it exists within me. Like there's a solid, yet invisible (to the rest of the world) thing keeping me from being able to fully participate or relate or exist in the world, amongst people. I feel like the real me is trapped inside of me, inside of my body, maybe, & I can't get out. I know all of that sounds odd, & I've done my best to try to explain it, but I don't think I've done a very good job.

Does any of that make sense to anyone and can anyone relate? & if so, please explain.
Thanks


Btw, I had no idea where to put this at, so sorry if it's in the wrong forum. Someone can move it to the proper place, though I hope it's not to "Off Topic" because I don't think it deserves to be there.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” _Dr. Theodor Seuss Geisel
* * * * *
"Words have the power to both destroy and heal.
When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."
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Old 06-06-2010  
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside yourself??

I can relate. Inside of me there's a fun person but sadly the anxiety stops that person from coming out. I bet that a lot of people have judged me for being stuck up, arrogant, boring etc because they can't see through the barrier.

''Let off some steam Bennett!'' (Arnold shwarznegger one liner from Commando)
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Old 06-06-2010  
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside yourself??

No, that doesnt sound wierd at all. In fact its the most un-wierd and relatable thing ive read all day. In fact im feeling like that right now and i always do after and during anxiety provoking encounters. In this case though it wasnt THAT bad. The reason i think i was feeling so bottled up is because of how much i wanted to be "myself" so to speak in this situation and for it to go perfectly...all due to pressure we place upon ourselves as well as the longing to be a certain way. However i have found in the past that if you just accept that something bad will happen - that you WILL embarress yourself at some point (which can be very hard to do, for me at least) - that relieves the pressure and the nerves, perhaps not enough to fully let my 'inner fun person' come out but its a start.
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Old 06-06-2010  
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside yourself??

I feel the same recluse. I don't blame them, they just don't understand.
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Old 06-06-2010  
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside yourself??

Quote:
Originally Posted by recluse View Post
I can relate. Inside of me there's a fun person but sadly the anxiety stops that person from coming out. I bet that a lot of people have judged me for being stuck up, arrogant, boring etc because they can't see through the barrier.
Couldn't have said it better myself. Or like I've said before, an extrovert trapped in an SA sufferer's body.
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Old 06-06-2010  
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside yourself??

I think I know what you mean.

I tell people it's like that bad Eddie Murphy movie "Meet Dave". I feel as if I spent life on auto-pilot and just observed things and never engaged in them myself.

It's a disassociative disorder but I get confused on them sometimes...depersonalization...derealization....s ome combination thereof....

"Hell is other people."- Sartre

<------ depressed, anxious, schizoid with ADD.
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Old 06-06-2010  
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside yourself??

I totally can relate to this. Ever since I was a little kid I have wanted to be able to talk to others and be more social without worrying about blushing or sounding like an idiot. I want to be able to talk to women without feeling like a complete moron, or feeling inferior all the time. The frustration is unreal at times.

Never send a human to do a machine's job.
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Old 06-06-2010  
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside yourself??

same here, except i cant just say it is the case when in social situations but even when im alone :/
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Old 06-06-2010  
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside yourself??

Yes! I don't think I've ever been my "real self" to anyone, except on this site.

Whooo!
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Old 06-06-2010  
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside yourself??

Yes! this is exactly how i feel and what i've been trying to explain to my counselors for years now. I feel inside me is this very happy, confident, person who will follow her dreams and try hard to get there. But then on the outside there is this depressed, anxious me who gives up on my dreams the second anxiety kicks in.

If im at partys the 'real me' wants so much to get up and dance, be silly, enjoy myself, while sober. But the anxious me on the outside is thinking, "oh god, no, you'll look stupid, people will laugh at you not with you, you silly girl just sit in the corner where you belong".
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