Do you feel like a loser?

Sorry to provoke any negative emotions and this is probably a thread several times over, but i need some help.

Basically this avoidant personality, just makes me feel weak. Why can't i just open my mouth and say something... It's just frustrating. I mean it's like easy. All of this is in my head. All i am doing is making myself miserable... If i could make a few friends my life would be great.

But then do people actually wanna be my friend. Maybe i am annoying and boring and irrating and stupid and in actual fact it's not in my head. In actual fact i am just a loser quiet simply.

Then another thing that has just made me feel like shit today is the fact my mum wants to come and visit me at uni> I told her no. NOT because i am ashamed of her. But because i am ashamd of myself. Because i am not living the 'uni' life tht i want to live. Because i am not at the centre of things or even have any cool friends. I don't want her to realise what an actual loser i am.

Sorry for this post. But well i just need to get this out...

I most certainly do feel like a loser.

I certainly feel like a loser because I look like one!
I might be nice, intelligent, sensitive, whatever, but people can only see me like a big loser, you know, the typical total loser, because that's what I look like on the outside. It bothers me because I feel judged, under pressure, like I always need to demonstrate something. Screw it.

Yes I feel like a big pathetic loser, because I am one.

Yep.......

Nope I'm not a loser.

Losers let it happen where as winners make it happen. So if your not trying then yes I can see why youd think that

Yes. I feel like the biggest loser every weekend i sit inside with my mum and her bf (who i hate and would much rather be anywhere else but where i am) and i sit there well in the other room watching tv... knowing that they know i'm a complete loser with no friends.. i feel so uncool.

Endymion said:

Only sometimes. Most of the time I do not feel like either a loser or a winner. I just accept reality and try to do something about it if its not how I want it to be, which is what I've been doing lately.

What is a winner anyway? A highly social person with a lot of friends that often goes out and has no anxiety?

I consider a winner to be someone successful at their goals and also someone who has had some sort of impact to this world, be it small or big. With that being said, there are a lot of winners out there with probably more awkward personalities than you, me and anyone else in here. (ie, Bill Gates perhaps? Not sure but he seems pretty awkward to me and I doubt he had much of a social life)

Don't take it too seriously man, just take action upon it! Face your fears and repeat, repeat, repeat. Look into an university and start thinking of goals and your future.

Best wishes.

Click to expand...

I'm reppin' you like a mofo for this post.

Yeah, often times I do, but I just make it my thing. Whether I'm a 'loser' or not, I'm fine with it. I do my own thing, and if that's not cool enough for everyone, well, they can all *insert inappropriate phrase here*.

&I'm sure there are people who'd love to be your friend. How I think of it, unless you're horribly mean [which you don't seem like it], there's someone who wants&needs a friend like you. You might just be looking in the wrong places. Sooner or later you'll stumble along some rad people.

Yes. What keeps me going is that I know that I have the potential to not be a loser. The only problem is that I have been saying that to myself for my entire life, yet I still can't break the cycle that I am in.

Jake, I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed.

There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to.

I invited your best friend Agoraphobickatie. Of course, she couldn't come because she hates you. All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are.

It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikeable. Liked by no one.
A bitter, unlikeable loner whose passing shall not be mourned.
'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official.
It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too.

You're a loser, Jake.

Haven't won anything, so yes I'd say I'm a loser. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter!

BoredBoredBored said:

Yes. What keeps me going is that I know that I have the potential to not be a loser. The only problem is that I have been saying that to myself for my entire life, yet I still can't break the cycle that I am in.

Click to expand...

totally agree!

Yes I'm definately a loser. I suck at life. I'm useless. I'm bad at everything. I lost my job, because I wasn't talkative enough, so my co-workers and my boss thought I was too boring. I'm 23 and I've never had a bf. I can't even make it to have more friends. I really hate myself. I wish I could be more like the others and be less like me. There's just no cure for it.

i do because i know i do not try hard enough and no one, not even me likes that

Sinopia said:

Yes I'm definately a loser. I suck at life. I'm useless. I'm bad at everything. I lost my job, because I wasn't talkative enough, so my co-workers and my boss thought I was too boring. I'm 23 and I've never had a bf. I can't even make it to have more friends. I really hate myself. I wish I could be more like the others and be less like me. There's just no cure for it.

Click to expand...

Theres most definitely the cure for it, all you gotta do is face your fears and try to change what u r to what u want to become...I know it might b very easy for me to say but trust im here for the same reason as you, i have SP/SA. I face my fears everyday and try to change myself, a step, a day, a moment at a
time. There will be ups nd downs, but at the end of the day you will feel proud of urself, cuz atleast u tried and succeeded to some extent!!! Good luck

5020 said:

Sorry to provoke any negative emotions and this is probably a thread several times over, but i need some help.

Basically this avoidant personality, just makes me feel weak. Why can't i just open my mouth and say something... It's just frustrating. I mean it's like easy. All of this is in my head. All i am doing is making myself miserable... If i could make a few friends my life would be great.

But then do people actually wanna be my friend. Maybe i am annoying and boring and irrating and stupid and in actual fact it's not in my head. In actual fact i am just a loser quiet simply.

Then another thing that has just made me feel like shit today is the fact my mum wants to come and visit me at uni> I told her no. NOT because i am ashamed of her. But because i am ashamd of myself. Because i am not living the 'uni' life tht i want to live. Because i am not at the centre of things or even have any cool friends. I don't want her to realise what an actual loser i am.

Sorry for this post. But well i just need to get this out...

Click to expand...

Hi 5020,

Don't apologize that's why this forum is here. I am going to be blunt with you, and I hope you won't be offended.

This is a serious illness that WILL take your life (figuratively or literaly) unless you do something about it. It's not going to go away, ever, unless you get the proper help. Don't have any illusions, if you need examples of people suffering for decades I can provide them easily. Suicide is also a possibility for SA sufferers. In short, you need to understand that this is a life or death struggle which you must win at all costs. You cannot allow this to continue.

Are you willing to face the possibility that you may really be a loser after all? Maybe you are stupid, boring, and irritating. Maybe you are a complete dork no one could ever like. Maybe youre not meant to have friends. And maybe youre life is never going to be okay. But, I will tell you something: It's not going to get worse than it already is. You are already friendless, desperately unhappy, living as a shell of your true self, probably thinking of suicide frequently, and hiding from people you love or find interesting. You already are DEAD inside - this is a living DEATH.

You have nothing to lose by admitting the awful truth to yourself and everything to gain, because WHAT IF YOU ARE WRONG? What if you are not a real loser after all? In fact, what if people would be friends with you knowing all your most despicable flaws? Even better, what if you didn't need others' approval to have self-worth? You won't know unless you face your fears head on and smash them, and you can succeed at that only by critically analyzing your phobia, discovering the supporting beliefs, and examining and debunking the evidence supporting them. Basicly, CBT. There are a number of techniques which will help but they all require honesty and bravery. You can definately do it, but it won't be easy. Don't forget that we are all in this together (I know it sounds corny) and you and I are in the same boat. I still don't know if I will even survive this, but Im willing to find out.

Best Wishes

BoredBoredBored said:

Yes. What keeps me going is that I know that I have the potential to not be a loser. The only problem is that I have been saying that to myself for my entire life, yet I still can't break the cycle that I am in.

Click to expand...

Dude you are one of the good-looking cool guys I see around and would love to make friends with. I would never have guessed you had a mental illness, let alone MY mental illness. So you see, maybe you aren't such a loser?

fedupoffear88 said:

Theres most definitely the cure for it, all you gotta do is face your fears and try to change what u r to what u want to become...I know it might b very easy for me to say but trust im here for the same reason as you, i have SP/SA. I face my fears everyday and try to change myself, a step, a day, a moment at a
time. There will be ups nd downs, but at the end of the day you will feel proud of urself, cuz atleast u tried and succeeded to some extent!!! Good luck

Click to expand...

Thanks for your kind words.

Sometimes I do, yes.