Do you feel like a loser?

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
Sorry to provoke any negative emotions and this is probably a thread several times over, but i need some help.

Basically this avoidant personality, just makes me feel weak. Why can't i just open my mouth and say something... It's just frustrating. I mean it's like easy. All of this is in my head. All i am doing is making myself miserable... If i could make a few friends my life would be great.

But then do people actually wanna be my friend. Maybe i am annoying and boring and irrating and stupid and in actual fact it's not in my head. In actual fact i am just a loser quiet simply.

Then another thing that has just made me feel like shit today is the fact my mum wants to come and visit me at uni> I told her no. NOT because i am ashamed of her. But because i am ashamd of myself. Because i am not living the 'uni' life tht i want to live. Because i am not at the centre of things or even have any cool friends. I don't want her to realise what an actual loser i am.

Sorry for this post. But well i just need to get this out...


I've always been a loser and an embarrassment to walk in this world. The next problem coming after that would be how to survive on my own when I grow up. It scares me.
 

anomicdeer

Well-known member
Yes, I do. Every time I feel bad I call myself a stupid loser.

Why can't I ever do anything right. I hate wishing I could go back in time to do something better. It's not like anyone ever liked me. People betrayed me and was two faced. I should have stayed to myself and became a huge nerd so that I could be in college by now studying some vet or biology class. Have a good job.

But no... I'm lucky that I finally just got a job and I still have no car or anything. Then I was stupid to move to a non metro area with bad bus service and at that I left just to be with another loser and have a child. So I'm ****ed. No going back now.

Take my mistake and learn from it kids...
 

Naesala

Active member
First of all, I`m new here. I have APD and borderline. I`m from Holland. Its nice to meet you all.

Hmm lets see....

Never had a relationship.
Have no friends.
Still live with my parents. (I am 32)
Just in recent years started working and studying.
Nobody seems to care if I live or die, including myself.
---------------------------------

How can I not feel like a loser?
I must say it felt much, much worse before I started studying and working. Still though, everything I wanted out of my personal, social life is miles away out of my grasp. I don`t feel alive in honesty, it feels like I`m just working through life.
 

andsorry

Well-known member
I can relate, but you're not a loser! Its hard getting use to a new environment. Give it time. Are you going home for winter break?
 

dandriv25

Member
Loser is a name that society has given to people that are having difficulties getting through life.
The real losers are those that hurt, bully and intimidate others. Having life difficulties or facing troubles and braving the world doesn't make you a loser. It means you're strong willed and determined, as tough as it may be to face these things.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
That's exactly how I feel. It's like I'm living for the sake of living. Going nowhere, like lost puppy. Gosh, I hate myself for being that way. :sad:

I really enjoy life at times. Then I will listen to the voices of the critics, and I start to think maybe I am unworthy of even that.
 

Earthcircle

Well-known member
I am certainly a loser. Being abused in therapy didn't help. I think the therapist smelled "loser" and sprung into action.
 

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
Sorry to provoke any negative emotions and this is probably a thread several times over, but i need some help.

Basically this avoidant personality, just makes me feel weak. Why can't i just open my mouth and say something... It's just frustrating. I mean it's like easy. All of this is in my head. All i am doing is making myself miserable... If i could make a few friends my life would be great.

But then do people actually wanna be my friend. Maybe i am annoying and boring and irrating and stupid and in actual fact it's not in my head. In actual fact i am just a loser quiet simply.

Then another thing that has just made me feel like shit today is the fact my mum wants to come and visit me at uni> I told her no. NOT because i am ashamed of her. But because i am ashamd of myself. Because i am not living the 'uni' life tht i want to live. Because i am not at the centre of things or even have any cool friends. I don't want her to realise what an actual loser i am.

Sorry for this post. But well i just need to get this out...



I feel more than just being a loser actually. I feel that I'm inferior, hopeless, pathetic, weak, and a bum. I realize that maybe I do sound harsh with myself, but there is honestly no way I'm going to be able to change around that thinking. I'm always going to be ashamed of myself, bullying myself, and blaming myself for everything that has happened. Even if my family or people anywhere tell me that I shouldn't be hard on myself and that I shouldn't let others get to me, I find is nearly impossible to do. It's astounding I deserve so many haters in my life who constantly enjoy picking at me for unknown reasons why. Why do they though? I will never know the answer to that. Therapy doesn't help either so there is no point. I've been keeping my mouth shut for all these years just to try and be polite. I'm surprised I've actually made it this far in 2013 and yet not even tempt to lay the knife on top of my wrists. Let's see if I can still manage to keep it up.
 
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jaim38

Well-known member
Loser is a name that society has given to people that are having difficulties getting through life.
The real losers are those that hurt, bully and intimidate others. Having life difficulties or facing troubles and braving the world doesn't make you a loser. It means you're strong willed and determined, as tough as it may be to face these things.

Never thought of it this way. Those are wise words people should pay heed to.

Sometimes I feel like a loser, though, when I'm compared to other people. Especially when I'm being called stupid by people who think they're more successful than me. Funny how this feeling disappears once I get away from people. People make me feel like a loser and are the biggest threat to my self esteem.
 
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stevo66

New member
I have been dealing with Avoidant personality disorder for decades. Calling myself a loser became common place, but with years of proper help my self view had some changes for the better. Granted I'm not "cured" and I know that words can never describe the pain, but regular help keeps me going. It's not easy, it's a long road but don't give up.
 

slapstick

Well-known member
NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE! I My friend do not (feel like a loser), in fact I feel quite the opposite, and I'm heading into the border betwen arrogance and confidence but thanks for asking.. By the way winning is a habit that comes from experience and to be successful is to fail. LIKE A BOWSSS!!
 

jaim38

Well-known member
I feel like an awful loser. I was on LinkedIn when I saw a status update from one of my friends. She was promoted to account executive, and she's only 24! My first response was to hit "Congrats", but for some reason, my Internet got cut off. I started feeling sharp pains in my heart: jealousy. But most importantly, I feel like a big loser. For a moment, I stopped doing anything and let myself feel the turbulence inside. I then told myself, "Stop comparing! It wouldn't do any good!" Which is true, because my friend and I came from different backgrounds. She was raised by great supportive parents, her family's pretty much social, and her personality's....I could go on and on about the positive stuff about her. Me on the other hand, I was raised in a dysfunctional, paranoid, crazy family. It doesn't matter how intelligent I am, without the right support or nourishment, I don't think I can achieve much.

I was right that comparing me to my friend is like comparing apples to oranges. Both are clearly different. I think I need to lay off LinkedIn - I forget that it's a social network, such as Facebook. Social networks are great at making me feel even worse about myself. But, I still haven't completed my profile yet - maybe I should turn off status updates from people.
 

BlueWeepingRose

Well-known member
Yes sometimes I do sadly. Mostly cause I'm not doing anything with my life at the moment... I feel stuck cause of being abused by my ex boyfriend and I'm still trying to get passed everything that happened to me. Hopefully once I get passed it, I'll be able to focus on what I want to do in life but right now the abuse is all I can think about right now. That's how badly my depression/anxiety is...
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
In situations, yes. Overall, no.

Calling someone with social phobia a loser because they're not integrating with society is kind of like calling a guy in a wheelchair a loser because he sucks at hurdles.
 
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