Do you feel like you'll never experience love?

Zaki

Well-known member
I mean romantic love. This is how I feel. I can't even imagine myself being in a relationship. I feel like a dude would have to be pretty crazy to choose to be with...this. There are so many better options out there. Yep, I can see quite a few cats in my future. Lots of pizza, too.
 
I now how you feel.
The only thing i live for in this world is a romantic love and a family but can't talk to any one let a lone a date. So yes i will never experience love and it will kill me.
 

NamiraWilhelm

Well-known member
Can I see myself being in love, yes, all the time. I seem to have this mentality whereby I think that men who desire me value me, so I love very often. The problem is getting someone to love me, wholly love me, for my relapses as well as my good times. That's what's unfathomable to me... I can't tell you how many times I've entered a relationship during a happy period, and that person has been crazy about me, then relapsed into depression and subsequently get dumped.
Basically why I'm attempting to stay single until I get my head together, if possible. Romantic contentment doesn't seem feasible until I do.
 

worrywort

Well-known member
Yea I do. I feel the same about connectedness with other people in general. I feel like the scale of the problem is too great for me. It's not a simple case of facing my fears, it feels deeper and more complex than that. I think the main problem I have is finding people on my wavelength. I think I have an unusual combination of personality traits that I'm yet to come across in another person. The main thing for me is finding someone who shares and can relate to this social struggle I've had all my life. But then I'm also a Christian and belief in God is really important to me. But then at the same time I'm probably one of the most sceptical and cynical Christian you're likely to meet. And then there's my obsession and devotion to my art and music. My whole life is built around it. I'd love to find someone who's equally devoted to their art and ideally has similar tastes and attitudes towards art too. I also just feel like, deep down inside, I'm incredibly weak and scared and insecure and I'd like to find someone at a similar emotional strength level to me. I guess I'm asking too much, but anything less tends to just make me feel more alone.....and this has turned into a bit of a dating ad, but hey, I'm desperate and I don't care!
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
Yeah, I've pretty much given up on it.

I don't want to try and make a love affair work with social phobia, and I don't want to be arguing with teenage kids when I'm in my fifties. A wife and family seems about as distant to me now as the dark side of Pluto.

It's sad, because like most of us I'm sure, I've always wanted the same things everyone else does, to be loved and understood, but I just don't have the tools to get the job done. There's an emptiness where my self esteem, or confidence, or whatever was supposed to be, and it's almost impossible to be attractive or seem worthwhile to someone when you don't even really like yourself. Who wants to be around that kind of vacuum all he time?

It ain't so bad, there's worse things than living with dogs and old movies. It's just that there's always those little moments that spring up like gutter roses where you think "THIS is supposed to be shared!!!!" ha ha. Those are the only times it really bothers me these days.

Who cares... my pug gets me. :D
 
Nope. I'm very confident about that, so i can say that with almost certainty now.

Had my share of opportunities over the years, & still get the odd opportunity every now & then. But i ALWAYS muck it up, stop anything right at the first signs (ie before anything even remotely romantic happens, & well before anything like dare i say a "DATE").

Also, in addition to my attitude (that seems to "block" everything like that), my life situation certainly needs to change, probably radically, & i can't see that happening ever tbh.

But no worries, i'm kinda getting used to the doom'n'gloom, isolation, loneliness, unmet needs, etc, etc, etc. My life or hapiness doesn't matter in the grand scheme, so i'm at this point now more concerned with the after-life, having given up almost totally with with my current earthly life. The way i see it, the day i die will be the best day of my life.
Yes, these may be radical views of life, but my life situation is radical, so it fits like a "glove". :thumbup:
 

TryAgain

Active member
I could tell you what I think and feel it's gonna happen, but if I'm as bad and incompetent as I think I am, it's hard to recognise in me the ability to predict the future to such an extent.
 

Steiner

Well-known member
Yes perhaps I will be forever alone. I don't know. Maybe I can get a sugar mama or something. Then again it's very unlikely. People seem to be flirting with me a lot lately. ( I think they are flirting with me?) I can't tell. I'm a hopeless case. I attract older women it seems. I just turned 22. Is why I think of a sugar mama. Hm.
 
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Argentum

Well-known member
Better options for who? I know I wouldn't necessarily want to be with a lot of people painted as desirable because there are people off the beaten path who'd be a happier match for me.

Then again, I'm not optimistic about love. I'm open-minded, but I view people approaching me cautiously. We live in a culture where the consideration is often "What can this person do for me?" instead of "What can we do together/What can we do for each other/What kind of person am I around them?"

Maybe that's all fine and dandy when you're hiring employees or putting together an activity group, but it's a terrible attitude for friendships and relationships. I don't intend to be someone's last resort, self-esteem bandage, or anything else.
 
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S_Spartan

Well-known member
Better options for who? I know I wouldn't necessarily want to be with a lot of people painted as desirable because there are people off the beaten path who'd be a happier match for me.

Then again, I'm not optimistic about love. I'm open-minded, but I view people approaching me cautiously. We live in a culture where the consideration is often "What can this person do for me?" instead of "What can we do together/What can we do for each other/What kind of person am I around them?"

Maybe that's all fine and dandy when you're hiring employees or putting together an activity group, but it's a terrible attitude for friendships and relationships. I don't intend to be someone's last resort, self-esteem bandage, or anything else.

What you have said here is exactly what I think about.
I'm in no hurry to get into another relationship because people don't think in terms of "us" anymore. It really is "what have you done for me lately."
And that is a great analogy about how that is good thinking for a business but not for friendships/romantic relationships.
I think the future is people having a series of mini-relationships.
Serial monogamy.
 

anomicdeer

Well-known member
Considering that I'm suffering from losing a "friend" a few days ago because I'm "psychotic" (and probably because of other reasons) I am so stuck on that and I'm afraid I'll always be that way. Not just someone have a bad day or "nagging wife" but just a crazy girl who can't get herself together...

I'd love it to fond someone I really like, then love and vice versa. And can deal with my mental breakdowns.
 

AtTheGates

Banned
well the problem is I havent ever met a girl I can be completely MYSELF around....I dont like to have to pretend to be some kind of smooth talking "cool guy" because it just feels way too fake....If I cant be a dork around someone then im not interested.
 
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Metal_isthe_Answer

Well-known member
I mean romantic love. This is how I feel. I can't even imagine myself being in a relationship. I feel like a dude would have to be pretty crazy to choose to be with...this. There are so many better options out there. Yep, I can see quite a few cats in my future. Lots of pizza, too.

I feel the same way, but with ladies in place of men...also, theres nothing wrong with cats, I have a cat....hes just a mean SOB
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I totally agree with those who've talked about not getting with someone 'desirable' just to be with someone. If I ever get in another relationship, it's going to be because that person is my other half. I don't care how popular she is.
Actually, if she was quiet and was just looking for her 'other half' to complete herself and would be quite happy with that.. maybe that would end better than my last effort.

I'd rather be alone than go through that BS again.
 

jayfan

Well-known member
i have been if a few ltr.
. i feel like i never will again.
. im always myself and the one i was with for 4 years who actually loved me and cared about me for me i treated like crap and dissed her. i ended up with someone who treated me like crap who then dissed me. had my mistakes come back to me 10 times worst.

now at my age i feel like its too late. i have kids who i have full custody of , no life, no moneys . i dont think ill ever experience love again. im not worried much about love though its more companionship and sex that i want. i want to find someone like me but it seems as though i never will people like me stay at home.
 

sprode

Active member
I feel like I know this with 100% certainty.

Just yesterday my mother was saying, "It will happen. You just have to think positive." I gritted my teeth and bore it.
 

Metal_isthe_Answer

Well-known member
Just for ****s, I typed in the name of a girl I like into google. I saw a youtube profile for her along with a video of her playing guitar and singing....it's like shes unknowingly trying to make me fall in love with her, she's like my fantasy came to life, and now I'm more depressed because I know it will never, never be.
 

AlienGeranium

Well-known member
There was a time when I was unable to talk to girls at all (or most guys for that matter). Despite this, whenever I thought of love I still believed it would happen, once I sorted everything out and became, I don't know, "healthier"? I tried to keep that stand of hope alive, for years and years. And then eventually, once I did start to get my problems sorted out, it happened. I worked where I was comfortable (the internet) and ended up falling for a girl I met there. The whole time I was in it though I was so afraid it was of losing it, and that it was a once in a lifetime thing for someone like me. And then my fears came to fruition and I was left alone again. To my surprise I've been on dates since then, and even have a girlfriend now, but feel so incapable of love after how much it hurt last time to lose it. For once in my life I fear that experiencing love may not be in my future. I just don't feel like I have any more left.
 
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