When interactions with other humans go OK, it feels wonderful, but that is rare, and it seems that in real life, even the relationships that start positively, begin to sour, and people distance themselves from me, become uncomfortable and sometimes even angry.
Those positive connections are great, but I live my life fearing connection, because of the horrible things that have happened to me in the past. Being around people brings on an almost sense of PTSD, the damage from past relationships that started well but ended badly.
Some connection is important, right now I am trying to connect with my sister, and that has been helpful over the last year. Of course at times of crisis I miss the company of my pet Cockatiel, so badly.