Do you go shopping alone?

I was forced to go shopping alone today and I felt really weird inside when in the department store, arrgh. I gave weird looks to people. :roll:

Do you people do this?

I hate going anywhere alone, but most times, I have no choice if I want to eat, etc. I can't LOOK at people, I try to look away or in the opposite direction as much as I can without stumbling over something in the aisles or into someone's shopping cart. I try to aviod attention at all costs and sometimes get it by trying to aviod it! :roll:

I find it nice sometimes to be by myself in a mall type shop coz then I can get what I need or look at what I want and not have to hang around while other people try on clothes etc. so that I have to pretend to look at stuff so the salespeople won't look at you funny. what I feel really uncomfortable with is when the salespeople ask you if you need any help or when they say hello to you when you walk into the shop. Does anyone else feel that way?

Nice2MeetU said:

I find it nice sometimes to be by myself in a mall type shop coz then I can get what I need or look at what I want and not have to hang around while other people try on clothes etc. so that I have to pretend to look at stuff so the salespeople won't look at you funny. what I feel really uncomfortable with is when the salespeople ask you if you need any help or when they say hello to you when you walk into the shop. Does anyone else feel that way?

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Yeah, that makes me a little uncomfortable too, coz I sometimes feel like I'm being rude if I say I don't need their help or something, *shrugs*.

I am new to the forum, but I can relate to these stories of shopping and the anxieties that it can bring.

Generally, I am not very good at keeping myself or my thoughts organized. So when I do venture out to some store (mostly out of necessity), I have a hard time remembering what it was I needed to buy in the first place. As a result, I tend to wander around the store and I have a hard time trying to decide which items I want. Very indecisive.

I also try to avoid the other customers and the salespeople (even though I would very much like to be able to start up conversation with those I find interesting). I tend to be very aware of my physical placement within an aisle or in regards to other shoppers. This is most evident when I go shopping with my girlfriend. I think I spend a bit too much time and effort trying to watch out for both her and myself, making sure we aren't in the way of others. It probably looks quite silly. She is more focused on what we are shopping for and I stay busy keeping track of all the people.

And yet, at the same time that I am "shopping" I tend to sort of detach myself from reality. The lighting within the stores, the aisles filled with so many, seemingly useless items, and the salespeople wearing silly uniforms. These things also make me feel anxious. It does feel unreal. (Perhaps because, in many ways, shopping/advertising/consumerism IS based in a world of unrealities and simulation). Many times I can literally feel myself trying to hold back an outburst of laughter.

Shopping makes me feel paranoid and a bit manic. So when I'm shopping alone, I try to just hold myself together and stay as invisible as possible. When I am with my girlfriend, however, I tend to spit out all sorts of stupid thoughts and jokes that probably don't make much sense. Probably some sort of defense mechanism.

As I type this, I am trying to prepare mentally for a trip to the market later this afternoon. All I need are a couple of food items and yet somehow I feel as if it's some huge operation.

Anyway, I hope somebody finds this insightful. I am new to this sort of forum/posting thing, but I am hoping it might help me and others. I would welcome the opportunity to share experiences/ideas with others...beyond just the shopping experience, of course.

It's questions like this that remind me that I've never been anywhere alone my whole life. I just do my shopping online.

Pick your times!

I've had to learn to shop alone. Our area doesn't have a grocer that delivers and my figure is too erratic to buy for online. My advice is to Pick Your Times! I grocery shop first thing in the morning before work, about 6am the store is really dead and that works in my schedule. If your not clued in to high and low traffic times, call the store you'd like to shop in and ask when their slowest times are. When I need to hit the mall I usually go about 7pm on a Tuesday because that's their slowest time. Also, if your phobia is really bad; some stores, especially grocers, will take your order over the phone and have it ready so you can just pay and leave. If you're not sure about the availability of these services Call And Ask. It is their job to make their products available to you. If you are making a reasonable request they will usually accomodate you. )

exactly, i hate going shopping alone, however i need to eat. I get really tense, especially when i see couples holding hands or when i see attractive women,

i go shopping alone, i hate going with someone else cos i'm easily irritated in public, i like to go in get what i want then leave, i can't browse because i find the general public rude and annoying

I hardly ever go shopping and I dread the days when I do. I’m still living at home with my parents and I’m lucky enough that my mum is pretty, understanding of my condition. So she does most of the shopping. I never go alone to the shops though coz I worry if I have to talk to someone and I wont be able to speak or see someone I know and I’ll pass out or something.

I used to hate shopping alone. If I was with someone else I didn't mind nearly as much. All of my family members and friends are very extroverted so it seems to give me confidence when I'm around them. However, since I came to school I've been forced to shop by myself. Walking through a mall alone makes me really nervous. The only place I go to in the mall is radio shack and the people aren't too intrusive while I'm looking for what I need. My worst thing is grocery shopping. The supermarket is usually packed and I always seem to walk directly in someone's path. Not to mention I feel like people are looking at me and judging me by what I'm buying. Since I've had to shop alone the last 5 months I've gotten better. I just got back from the store and it wasn't a problem at all. In fact I felt worse trying to walk down the sidewalk without falling and making a fool of myself. When I was going across a crosswalk I slipped on some ice and nearly took a digger in front of a line of cars. Luckily I caught my balance.

lol. im 15..and a girl..so really i love shopping. i get nervous. i CANT ask assistants for anyhting, even if its somehting i really want..and i get paranoid that people are watching me..and i HATE shopping for underwear.lol. But i go shopping alone alot..leaves me to think about stuff, and gets me out..and spending money makes me feel good.lol

I have no choice.

Nice2MeetU - I too HATE it when they say hello and ask if I want help... I say "hello" in my really quiet little voice without looking at them most times and sidle on over to the opposite side of the shop! GOD I AM SHY!!!!! I am sure they think I'm weird or something.

I'm okay shopping alone now. I used to hate it but over the last few months, since I've been getting treatment, I'm come to enjoy it. I usually prefer to go with someone (generally only my parents) but I can go by myself if I need to.

I can also comfortably deal with shop assistants now. If they ask me if I need any help I usually just say I'm browsing and they leave me alone. But when I know exactly what I'm looking for (which is not very often) I try to speak to them. In fact, just a couple of days ago I had a really nice conversation with a nice, attractive young women in the chemist. Normally I would have been scared shitless but this time I felt reasonably confortable. I felt fantastic afterwards. I'm going back there in a couple of weeks and I she's there again.

Wow

Thats great! How did you get so much better??? Did you see any psychologist or use medicines?

i work in a market place...and i hate it. because when i go on my lunch breaks...i wont eat..i cant eat. its just too hard and most of the time i feel sick from nerves anyway. so i have a full half hour to lurk around a VERY busy and loud and crowded place...gah. i never go shopping there unless its really really hot and i need a drink. but thats about it.

there are times when im with friends shopping and i think "i wish i was here alone, it feels too weird" and other times when im by myself and i really need someone with me so i atleast have a sense of direction...im strange. :lol:

I can't shop alone, can't bring myself to walk into the store. With someone else is better, but still not good. I avoid the busier times, hate the feeling of being in a lineup, with people behind me 8O . But always use cash, don't trust my bank card to work; and always have to have extra in my pocket, just in case, cause I worry about not having enough money. Shopping in a busy farmer's market is a little better, cause lots of hustle and bustle around me, I like the chaos, cause nobody notices me so much

I think I'll get to the point soon where I will be able to shop in a department store for my own clothes, but individual stores are still a big worry for me. I can do other general shopping though. It's always an automatic "no" if someone asks if I need help.

Nice2MeetU said:

... so that I have to pretend to look at stuff so the salespeople won't look at you funny. what I feel really uncomfortable with is when the salespeople ask you if you need any help or when they say hello to you when you walk into the shop. Does anyone else feel that way?

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same here! i start to prepare a facial expression of interest in the clothes etc before i even walk in the store. i hate it when they say hi and how are you, i feel like i have to be spontaneous and friendly and stuff, but i just give this automatic good thanx and an exaggerated smile, like trying to please them or somethin. and then i quickly skip to the other side of the shop and get away as far as possible, glad that the initial encounter witht eh dreaded shop keeper is over
i also hate shopping for underware and bras..haven't bought that in ages cause when i pay for em at the department stores, i feel extremely consious of lines behind me and the cashier lookin at me..i don't think that is unreasonable fear cause i'm displaying somethin personal about me...i've actually shoplifted a few times for these bare essentials..hehe but not anymore. i guess the fear that being caught and raising even more attention scared me even more!