Do you hate being told to smile

FriendlyShadow

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
I know I may sound harsh to some positive people out there, but do you any of you hate being told "Come on, smile." or they kind of imitate your facial expression as miserable. I know there are people who want others to be happy but whenever people tell me to smile, I feel that there is no reason to. Or at least I can't truly fight back a smile to cover up the pain behind it. I'm too stressed, too tired, too depressed, too emotional, too frustrated too much of anything to make me smile. I know I sound like I've given up too easily because I let my stress and emotions get the best out of me, but what other expression can I show other than my depressed face look.

It's just as stressful to hear "Smile" or "Cheer up" because the other person doesn't know what's going on in my situation and I don't want to be disrespectful and say something like "I don't want to." I know a year ago I think I post a similar topic to this thread about others being told to smile when they have a blank expression, but in this thread, I'm now addressing how I hate being told to smile when I've been in so much stress and pain all my life. How is it possible to smile and hide these things from others if I can't truly feel happy myself? I'm sorry if I'm confusing some of you, but I just wanted to vent some of my frustrations I've been feeling lately.
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
I'm a positive person and I hate being told to smile. I mean, if I'm not smiling, I'm not smiling. Asking someone to smile when they are not make as much sense to me than asking them to stand on one foot.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah know how ya feel, I definitely relate.

As well-meaning as being told to smile or cheer-up is, it's doesnae really make me feel better when I'm feelin' really depressed. Ah don't feel any happier, just fake - like the smile on ma face.

When I'm in a good mood, I'm happy, smilin' and laughin', when I'm not doin' so great, I don't feel like smiling. Good days and bad days - that's how it is for me.

Plus, sometime, I just don't feel like smiling.
 
WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
Smiling is supposed to be able to trick your brain into thinking that you're happy. (that's my very simple non-scientific explanation for something I heard, anyways)

So, I practised smiling and try to be mindful whenever I'm infront of other people and not alone-- to smile.
Even sometimes when I'm alone, I'll smile for hours until my cheeks hurt just hoping to retain some of that happiness.

... so far I don't think it's worked but there's no harm in trying, right?
 
Psychedelicious

Psychedelicious

1
saddest face

Yeah, I dislike being told to smile. I refuse to fake smile most of the time because the way it makes my face look (nose), I look gross. I don't mind smiling if it's a natural smile and one that is actually connected to my emotions. If that's going to happen, it will when it does, it's kind of an automatic thing. I'm not going to put on a fake smile just because some people want me to pretend that I'm happy just for them.
 
THeCARS1979

THeCARS1979

Well-known member
I love lions said:
I know I may sound harsh to some positive people out there, but do you any of you hate being told "Come on, smile." or they kind of imitate your facial expression as miserable. I know there are people who want others to be happy but whenever people tell me to smile, I feel that there is no reason to. Or at least I can't truly fight back a smile to cover up the pain behind it. I'm too stressed, too tired, too depressed, too emotional, too frustrated too much of anything to make me smile. I know I sound like I've given up too easily because I let my stress and emotions get the best out of me, but what other expression can I show other than my depressed face look.

It's just as stressful to hear "Smile" or "Cheer up" because the other person doesn't know what's going on in my situation and I don't want to be disrespectful and say something like "I don't want to." I know a year ago I think I post a similar topic to this thread about others being told to smile when they have a blank expression, but in this thread, I'm now addressing how I hate being told to smile when I've been in so much stress and pain all my life. How is it possible to smile and hide these things from others if I can't truly feel happy myself? I'm sorry if I'm confusing some of you, but I just wanted to vent some of my frustrations I've been feeling lately.
Click to expand...

yes i do, i feel vulnerable when I do
 
theoutsider

theoutsider

Well-known member
Yes, I hate it. Even when it's for a picture, I hate it. It doesn't mean I'm unhappy because I'm not smiling, it just means I don't like going around with a phony expression on my face.
 
ScaredToBreathe

ScaredToBreathe

Well-known member
Yes, I hate it! As if putting on a smile when someone tells you to will magically cure everything wrong! And wearing a smile doesn't necessarily mean you're happy. It just makes other people believe you're happy and not have to ask you to smile for them. And NOT smiling doesn't mean you aren't happy! I've been very happy but show a blank face and people think there's something wrong.

Here's an embarrassing story. In grade 6 I never smiled or laughed and I had depression and anxiety. I'd wear a straight face nearly 24/7. Well one day my teacher, who noticed this, stood in front of the class and said she wouldn't start class until I smiled in front of everyone. So then EVERYBODY in my class was staring at me and started chanting "smile! smile!" So I made an attempt to smile as best as I could to get that over with... And after smiling I did not feel any better. I actually felt worse. True story. lesson learned: people won't be happy until they think you're happy so if you wear a fake smile no one will ask you to smile or see you as an emotionless robot.
 
fate12321

fate12321

Well-known member
Of course I hate it when people say that! I remember one of my teachers told me that. He said, "crack a smile" and to "change that poker face". He even once told me if I was ok. Meh, bottom line, it makes me feel awful inside.
 
lyricalliaisons

lyricalliaisons

Well-known member
It makes me mad when people tell me to smile. People often tell me when I'm already in a decent or good mood and it puts me immediately into a bad mood.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
I know exactly how you feel, I love lions. I feel the same.
Many people tell someone to "smile" or "cheer up" not because they want to see you happy, they just don't want to have to deal with another person NOT being happy.
We should not have to pretend to be happy or normal or as if everything is fine and dandy if we are in the midst of just surviving. If people can't cope with someone in distress then they should just leave them alone. Although I have not yet summoned the courage to tell someone who says to me "smile" what I think of their suggestion, I am nearing the point where I WILL soon be able to, out of sheer frustration. :sad:
 
GraybeardGhost

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
Here's my solution:
george-price-damn-it-i-am-looking-pleasant-new-yorker-cartoon.jpg
 
Argentum

Argentum

Well-known member
I understand the good intention, but I dislike the tendency of society to simply cover up the negative as if it's offensive that it even exists. People have every right to not be in a smiling mood sometimes.
 
FriendlyShadow

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
Pacific_Loner said:
Asking someone to smile when they are not make as much sense to me than asking them to stand on one foot.
Click to expand...

I don't think it's really necessary if you see someone who isn't in a good mood and you making it more stressful for them when people say to "Smile" or "Why do you look so sad. Cheer up!" I'd never tell someone to smile if they were angry or looked upset. Even if I did they would feel as if I was disrespecting their feelings and invading their personal space. It's more like your talking down on them as if they don't know how to smile. I don't know if people just like to pester and bully people into making them do what they want. If it was the other way around for people who were in positive moods were suddenly in a bad mood one day and the other person told them to cheer up, I'm sure they'd find it pretty stressful and annoying to hear. It's always them that's allowed to do it to people who aren't in good moods. :(
 
shyflower

shyflower

Well-known member
I used to have someone say that to me everytime I went out somewheres. I need to smile..cheer up it's not so bad.. things could be a lot worse they said to me. I have never told people how to feel or act. Now.. that I have been around some people that make me smile.. I always see those people and others who wanted me to smile act like they are mad at the world and they cannot stand to see me happy and smile. Here I am smiling and people looking at me with the look of a bull frog on their faces.. I don't get it.....:confused:
 
MotherWolff

MotherWolff

Banned
I love lions said:
I know I may sound harsh to some positive people out there, but do you any of you hate being told "Come on, smile." or they kind of imitate your facial expression as miserable. I know there are people who want others to be happy but whenever people tell me to smile, I feel that there is no reason to. Or at least I can't truly fight back a smile to cover up the pain behind it. I'm too stressed, too tired, too depressed, too emotional, too frustrated too much of anything to make me smile. I know I sound like I've given up too easily because I let my stress and emotions get the best out of me, but what other expression can I show other than my depressed face look.

It's just as stressful to hear "Smile" or "Cheer up" because the other person doesn't know what's going on in my situation and I don't want to be disrespectful and say something like "I don't want to." I know a year ago I think I post a similar topic to this thread about others being told to smile when they have a blank expression, but in this thread, I'm now addressing how I hate being told to smile when I've been in so much stress and pain all my life. How is it possible to smile and hide these things from others if I can't truly feel happy myself? I'm sorry if I'm confusing some of you, but I just wanted to vent some of my frustrations I've been feeling lately.
Click to expand...

Sometimes.

But I would rather be told to smile than to frown.
 
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