do you hate people?

growing up i feel like my mom would always single me out and degrade me. she didn't treat me very well. it basically taught me resentment, mistrust, and HATE. i feel like such a hateful person. logically thinking, that is not the kind of person i want to be, but when i find myself in a social environment it is sadly my first nature. i don't want to deal with people or bother interacting with them and i come off as cold and arrogant (which is probably true).

all of this social anxiety i feel stems from the fact that i hate people. anxiety arises because i have to conform and pretend like i am a good sport when, in fact, i don't want to be around anyone at all (especially in the morning). i have to put on a happy face (which i am just terrible at), look willing to help, and come across as approachable when i do not want to be approached at all. this makes for huge anxiety. i feel like i was raised to be a bitter, hateful, repellent person who has to be submerged in social interaction which makes me miserable.

/.

95% of people I end up liking, but I usually hate them before I get to know them, for no reason. Probably envy from imaging everyone I see having a huge life ten times bigger than mine.

it's not even that i hate everyone. i just don't like dealing with people. even people that seem totally nice and friendly i just don't feel like dealing with. just basic interaction sucks so much energy out of me and it doesn't seem like the investment will be worth my time when i have other things to focus on. people just seem like big problems all around. just can't be bothered.

Im the same. I have a few friends and dont bother making more now.If someone forces them into my life then maybe yes..else I dont bother.

I don't hate people as much as I used to. I hated so many people at school. They bullied me all the time because of my SA. Now my SA has improved, most people I meet are nice to me, so I like them, but i can't help wondering how they would have treated me if we'd been at school together.

Yes, in general I do. I have Schizoid Personality Disorder. People annoy me so much and the only person that I really want in my life is my mom. Everyone else I cannot stand.

dottie said:

it's not even that i hate everyone. i just don't like dealing with people. even people that seem totally nice and friendly i just don't feel like dealing with. just basic interaction sucks so much energy out of me and it doesn't seem like the investment will be worth my time when i have other things to focus on. people just seem like big problems all around. just can't be bothered.

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That sounds like me. Except I don't like dealing with people because I know they'll see how boring I am or they'll hate the way I am and reject me. I don't need that. I shoot down the idea before it could ever happen. I would like to have a friend but I already know I'll never meet anyone who will just accept me.

I'm a very bitter person because i am so jealous of confident people who have a lot of friends. I feel that i hate most people because i am cynical of them; The way i have been treated in the past by people is the reason for this. I tend to like shy people and hate the loud extroverted ones, because these extrovert ones are the types who have treated me badly in the past. On the whole i have the (cynical perhaps) view of humans as sellfish, deceitfull low lives. The main person i hate is myself though and that is my biggest problem.

I dislike people until I get to know them. Once I have spoken to people there are hardly any I still dislike. I don't know why I'm like that, but I also have problems trusting people and also receiving favours/gifts/help from them. Actually I think it is because I don't want to feel I 'owe' anyone anything.

nah, i've always loved everyone and hated myself. i've been improving on the self hatred thing and starting to feel better, but people still fascinate me everywhere i go.

recluse said:

I'm a very bitter person because i am so jealous of confident people who have a lot of friends. I feel that i hate most people because i am cynical of them; The way i have been treated in the past by people is the reason for this. I tend to like shy people and hate the loud extroverted ones, because these extrovert ones are the types who have treated me badly in the past. On the whole i have the (cynical perhaps) view of humans as sellfish, deceitfull low lives. The main person i hate is myself though and that is my biggest problem.

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I couldn't agree more. I'm sure you would like me if you knew me - and vice versa (no homo)

hating someone is a futile emotion to have it's like holding a piece of scorching hot coal, you only hurt yourself.

I'm a misanthropist to the bone, and have held a deep disgust and contempt towards just about eveyone i've ever met. This in part, stems from my hatred for industry, civilization, capitalism, religion and many other aspects of the human psyche. I don't have SA necassarily, but rather schizoid personality disorder and hence I relish time away from others. Being around others drains me, and leaves me feeling empty and even more cynical then before, thus I thrive on being alone and find that i'm healthier for it. So do I hate people? definitely.

dont hate them just nervous of being rejected by them and scared of being hurt, Hates a very big word

I hate the way people act. Sometimes people may think they are better than others, which is dumb. Some just enjoy being mean for the hell of it and taking it out on innocent people. I am nice to everyone but I am quiet and was extremely shy since childhood for many years. I still am but I interact with others and think that respect is very important. I have heard people talk about me in my presence because they think I can't hear them. Other times they have done it intentionally to get a rise out of me. If I am around my friends and family it is totally different, because I know these people love me. The world can be a cold cruel place filled with bitter people looking to hurt you. It is also a place where everyone has been hurt at one time or another and people are just looking to protect themselves out of fear. I appreciate when people take the time to realise that I am just quiet and reserved until I trust people. If someone can respect the fact that I am quiet and doesnt try to smother me or rush me into a forced fake relationship I appreciate that as well. Our world is about cell phones, emails, microwaves. Fast world,impatient people, disposable friends. No one takes the time in the simple things anymore. Its quite troubling in my opinion.

I read all of the posts in this thread, and a lot of good points were made. This is my first post, so hi to everyone. Yes, hate is a strong word, but I understand the sentiment. Good social skills can be so vital in succeeding and getting ahead in life. I "hate" the people, who oftentimes are less intelligent and much more oblivious than me, who get ahead in life because they simply do naturally what I find so difficult. I "hate" all of the missed opportunities resultant of my illness--opportunities that most people take for granted--dating, parties, fulfilling employment, etc. So yeah, I'm pretty much always intimidated and jealous of other people's successes. Even my closest friends (and believe me, friends have been hard to come by) don't really understand me, and while I did manage to find a wife who appreciates me, I "hate" the feeling of isolation that comes from knowing that other people just don't get me and probably never will. This, I believe, is part of what makes social interaction so exhausting...ie, you have to pretend to be one of them for a while (and do a shitty job of it to boot).

The fact is, social phobia does ultimately spiral into a self-fulfilling prophecy. The lies we tell ourselves have a kernel of truth, and that's probably what feeds our illness. When survival of the fittest is the name of the game, being socially inadequate does marginalize you. You end up hating humanity, because you feel they have rejected you, and thus, you reject them. Add to that the fact that most people just don't understand mental illness, and it's enough to make social phobic want to recede into a dark corner and never come out again. So many times I have heard people tell me to just "toughen up" as if that's what I needed to hear. I mean, for most people, when faced with an obstacle, they simply remove the obstacle. It's not always easy, but the solution is usually straight-forward enough. But what do you do when the obstacle is inside your own head? What if the overarching internal obstacle is preventing you from removing the external ones? That's what people who haven't suffered from some kind of mental illness simply don't get.

I don't hate people, I just feel very anxious around most of them especially strangers. Like today, I wanted to cut through a kind of wide alley and there were four teenage guys there, smoking or drinking or something, I didn't look directly at them. I was a bit wary of them shouting something at me so I thought of walking the long way round and then I thought "Oh, sod it, it's too cold, I want to get home and anyway it's broad daylight."

So I just cut through the alley and they moved out of the way and just totally ignored me, carrying on with their conversation. I guess if I'd still been a teenage girl tho they would have made some remark, being older has its advantages.

tehStranger said:

i don't hate people, but people seem to hate me....

I hardly know anyone, yet complete strangers seem to have already pre-judged me.

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God me too!!!! Im afraid of people now, apparently it's our perception that is the problem, are you a very sensitive person? I am I have to admit, I just got "The Highly Sensitive Person's Handbook" so Im hoping at the end of it I will be slightly more robust