lacrotix

Very true. I agree. It drives you to depression and suicide at times.

I am still a student in high school and I really doubt this. First of all, bullying is a over-used term: it doesn't have as much emphasis on the true pains as a phrase like "continual verbal assaults." Because of this, people don't realize how hurtful it can be.

Also, I have read some statistics collected by my school which say that only about 1% of students are bullied. With such a small number, I doubt the schools actually do care about taking action to help that 1%.

Thirdly, schools don't seem to like to get into complicated messes. The teachers and staff at my school don't care about our problems; they let us "sort it out" through bullying and violence. But we all know that doesn't help. Metaphorically speaking, the staff don't want to risk staining their white gloves.

This makes me wonder, what is the best way to deal with bullies? The majority of bullies bully because it's a way to vent their own stresses from arguing parents, bad grades, or the sort. That might mean we can't blame them for getting angry or violent. In this train of thought, revenge isn't really justified.

But at the same time, we can't let these people hurt others when they are hurt. And we can't let them bottle their emotions to drive them to depression or suicide.

So...What are we suppose to do with bullies?

Quickslash

Yeah, sometimes. Not as bad as it use to be though.

I graduated about 6 years ago. I was homeschooled the last 3 years of highschool.

I used to think if I ever saw one of the people who made my life hell in school I would walk up, and say "Hey remember me?" then knock them out.

The problem with that is it is against the law...lol. I have regrets of not doing it when I when the abuse was actually going on.

It's just not worth it, because you cannot change the past.

Only the future.

mndigi

If the schools don't take action, I am sure there are legal ways to deal with it. But when you aren't an adult, you aren't aware of such things. Or you can't independently take action and have to depend upon an adult. If both of these aspects are taken care of, and more complaints start coming up, then schools might take notice.

A lot of things are just 1 % of the total. But if they are serious enough, they warrant action.



Revenge isn't justified even if we are dealing with a murderer. Modern legal systems work upon reforming criminals. Or if they are beyond reform then removing them from the society for the good of the society itself.

We may or may not be able to deal with bullies individually. That is why there are legal systems, which are an agreement between members of a society to collectively disallow behaviour which harms members of that society. A bully can't take on millions of people with advanced weapons representing them.

lacrotix

It would be nice too though. I find saying stuff that opens a bulliy's eye in private sometimes works. But this doesn't work when a bully is with a crowd; he or she usually is too distracted by making non-logical insults and laughing with the crowd.

If a bully is always in a crowd, what can we do to stop them? There are several people who insult me that I would like to be able to deal with without going to some higher authority. After all, sometimes this higher authority (ex: principal) won't take action.

rado31

Unfortunately ,bullies most often end as calm peaceful and socially acceptable people

And they never regret...

Emmmmy

Yeh, so it seems.
I remember reading recently that bullies typically have high self esteem (for years bullies were suppose to have low self esteem... and so take out their frustration on others). It seems a little obvious to me that they feel happy & comfortable with themselves. I wonder how they represent what they did to themselves... teasing/'they deserved no better'?

It's a shame karma doesn't really seem to exist in this one lifetime, wanting revenge is so understandable when you think these people are enjoying life and probably don't even remember you.

- I really do feel for you all, having to live with the memories - they don't deserve any of your time.

satstrn

Bullying is definitely scarring, but I think that for most people it happens before adulthood and before people mature into who they really are, both for those who bully and for those who allow themselves to be bullies. My SA developed out of being bullied every day in middle school and as a result I learned that I shouldn't trust people, which these days causes me a lot of trouble. I think as mature people we need to accept the fact that bullying happens but only because of immaturity. The kids that bullied me back in the day were the "cool kids", but in adulthood these people are just seen as di**holes and are not respected. Most bullies grow up to realize that that kind of behavior won't get them anywhere and that they have to change to be seen as respectable people. Im glad I don't have to deal with the realization that Im a total DBAG...I imagine most bullies struggle with identity issues later on in life, just like we do.

Liesha27

Robert B, I was bullied at school by alot of people because of my hair (I have trichotillomania). Bullying began in 5th grade. Went all to 11 grade. I have always wanted revenge on the people that made my life a living hell because I felt that NO one will suffer for what they have done to me. My senior year of high school, I took the revenge in my hands and it backfired in a way. I have almost gotten caught but since I was at another school, I didn't. I basically started some drama between two girls because one of them gave me hell in school and I also made a fake myspace page pretending to be someone else and started the mess and more but some of the revenge I didn't get caught. At least I got some of my revenge. If you want to know more, message me.

Jannah

Yes I still do. All the bullying was due to racism :(

Melanie

About three years ago, my small group of friends, including me, were picked on by some girls at our school. We complained to the teachers several times, and though the girls were hardly punished at all, the bullying did eventually stop.

But to this day, when I see one of those girls, or pass her in the hallway, it makes me nervous. Whenever I go to school with a new haircut, or have to speak in front of the class, it makes me nervous. Though nothing has been done to me for several years, I still can't seem to get over it. It makes me feel pathetic, and it makes me really hate those girls for what they've done to me.

What really gets me is that to them it was all just a game - they obviously don't care any more, they probably don't even remember me at all. Wheras for me, the experience has really affected my life - I'll always have that part of me that's afraid of standing out, or speaking up.

I know it's wrong to hold a grudge, but I do hate them for that. I only hope that my other friends have managed to move on better than I have.