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Old 08-04-2008  
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Default Do you zone out on people?

So this is a big part of my problem... I get really distracted by stupid things when people are talking to me and so I have a hard time following a conversation.

Sometimes I'm literally distracted BY my anxiety, but other times I get caught up in some detail and loose track of the conversation.

For example, today a coworker was telling me about a rather traumatic situation with her family. It wasn't a boring story by any means, but I had never heard her say her son's full name before and so once she said it my mind wandered for the next minute or so thinking about his name and wondering how she had come up with it and stuff... Then I remembered I was suppose to be listening.

I do this a lot and sometimes people ask me questions and I miss what they're asking. It's really embarassing.

Do other people do this?
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Old 08-04-2008  
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i find myself doing that a lot, but my mind usually drifts any ways. but i usually have like one word in a conversation which will trigger like a whole different train of thought, i did do it once and the teacher i was talking to (or should i say who was talking at me) we were talking about osmosis, and so i started thinking about potatoes,then she got really angry at me because i asked her to repeat what she had said, she said to me whats going on between your ears, and i said i'm actually figuring out what to give my son for his dinner tonight, and she was like yeah don't you think what we are talking about is more important, i was like no, and the fact that you don't think me thinking about feeding my child is important scares me. she never really talked to me again after that.

(i really don't know why i felt it necessary to tell you the whole story when a simple yes would have sufficed, i also ramble on a lot.lol)
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Old 08-05-2008  
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I get like that too. Usually I'm trying to think up a response to the first part of a sentence, while the speaker has moved onto the second part, but I don't hear it because I'm trying to answer the first part of what they were saying. Sometimes I think "Wow, I can't think of anything to say. Keep eye contact. I hope I don't seem unfriendly if all I can do is nod my head and say yeah. I wish my conversation skills were better. But isn't this the type of situation where I would practice them? But I can't think of anything to say!!"

I keep meaning to look at the weather section of a newspaper every once in a while so I have something coherent to say in case the topic comes up in small talk. But I keep forgetting. So I will end up in a conversation about the weather, and suddenly I start thinking to myself, "I keep meaning to look up the weather...." while I'm not paying attention to their weather forecast. And usually they will stop speaking and I will nod my head and say "Yeah." or something like "It's good for the corn" which doesn't give away the fact that I wasn't listening to what they said the weather was going to be like. Of course, I have no idea what kind of weather is good for corn, but chances are, neither do they.
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Old 08-05-2008  
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i have a hard time with this, too, especially at work, and especially when being given instructions as to what i have to do. then i have to try to find out some other way. its embarassing when i ask something, and the person has just finised telling about that thing. they say 'i just told you...'., or 'like i just said....' Maybe i shouldnt even be working. it makes me feel a bit guilty. but i hope i make up for it in other ways, like being a hard worker. anyway, i think i'm improving a bit by making a conscious effort to concentrate on the subject at hand.
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Old 08-05-2008  
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yes, this happens all the time. i especially relate with Dave_McFadden's post.

i wonder if this makes me selfish. perhaps i am so self absorbed that i have a hard time following normal conversation. it's not that i don't want to hear them but i put so much energy into how i am carrying myself (body language, what to say next, how i will be percieved) that it is overwhelming and distracting.

i ****ing hate socializing. seriously. it is too complicated and consuming.
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Old 08-05-2008  
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EDIT: oops, wrong topic
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Old 08-05-2008  
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I can say without a shadow of a doubt and in full confidence that I too zone out infront of others. Dont know what is whether it not listening properly or just plain cant comprehend what people are saying to me, it goes in one ear then takes a fantastic voyage to a destination unknown to me.
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Old 08-05-2008  
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Yep i'm the same, cos i'll be thinking about my anxiety & what to say next. I get really annoyed with myself sometimes because where i'm so deep in thought I don't actually listen/see what happens & I lose track, when its my time to answer/talk/say something I realise I didnt catch it all when I could of potientially had a good answer/point/conversational thing to say but I mess it up by thinkin bout stupid tings!!! :x
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Old 08-05-2008  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by proudmummy
Yep i'm the same, cos i'll be thinking about my anxiety & what to say next. I get really annoyed with myself sometimes because where i'm so deep in thought I don't actually listen/see what happens & I lose track, when its my time to answer/talk/say something I realise I didnt catch it all when I could of potientially had a good answer/point/conversational thing to say but I mess it up by thinkin bout stupid tings!!! :x
Sounds alot like me, I do that alot myself - my mind just wanders. I also zone out completely if someone's talking to me about something that I have absolutely no interest.
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Old 08-05-2008  
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does anyone else do this:

when i am talking to people i really have to concentrate to focus on what they are saying and i make a weird face that totally gives away how hard i am trying to focus. then the other person thinks i am dumb because they can tell i am trying to concentrate so hard.
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