Does anybody ever feel...

Vonnie

Active member
Ok, since I'm new here I'm still nervous about sharing my anxiety but I really need to know something. Does anybody ever feel so much anxiety around people that when you talk to someone, you have a hard time focusing on what that person is saying? Have you ever stumbled with your words, like what you want to say can't seem to come out right? A lot of times when I'm talking to someone, I feel they can see I'm nervous, which scares me even more. Another question...when you're walking outside, do you feel like people are watching you, then your body will just suddenly go out of control and you'll do something foolish like fall on the ground? Do you panic when talking on the phone? Or if you're eating in a restaraunt (especially if it's crowded) do you feel you can't swallow what you're eating, can't breathe and then run out? Hope I don't sound silly but these are symptoms I've experienced (still do) and honestly, I'm embarrassed to talk about it. I don't know, I guess I need to talk about it because I always think what I'm feeling is weird. Please feel free to share anything else. Thanks.
 

bluenow

Well-known member
I have experienced everything you wrote about. Except for falling down and running away. Maybe your mind got so wound up that it wouldn't even let you keep control of your body.
 

Vonnie

Active member
Taws, I'm sorry if the red color bothered you. I'll write in black because I don't want to do anything that will aggravate someone's anxiety. About the falling down part, after reading it again, I didn't word it right, my mistake. I meant when I'm walking down the street, I'm so anxious that I feel like I can't walk straight and I'll fall, though that doesn't happen.
 

redlady

Well-known member
Vonnie you will soon get used to taws and his sense of humour. OR does that mean that i make you anxious ?!?!
 

Vonnie

Active member
Hey redlady,

LOL...I didn't know he was being funny. Usually when I meet someone, I'm not comfortable and I'll take what someone says seriously until I get to know the person better.
 

redlady

Well-known member
Hey Vonnie - yeah he has a wicked sense of humour - you should checkout some of his other posts. But i know what you mean - when you don't know someone it can be hard to tell. Sometimes he even gets me - he's tricky like that.
 

J

Well-known member
Yeah, I'm always worried about doing something stupid in front of people, whether it's behaving funny, saying the wrong thing (if I even say anything) or having some involuntary bodily thing occur--a twitch, a blush, a nervous shake, my knee giving out, gas :oops: whatever. I'll stumble over what I do say, and suddenly lose all coordination and have a hard time funbling with doorknobs and such.

I have essential tremor, so my fingers or hands often shake a little (sometimes quite a bit!) and that's another thing to worry about other people thinking about.
 

Kalima

Well-known member
Vonnie said:
Another question...when you're walking outside, do you feel like people are watching you, then your body will just suddenly go out of control and you'll do something foolish like fall on the ground?

OMG Vonnie, I can so relate to what you're saying here!!!! in the past, I was so self-conscious about myself that I felt extremely extremely uncomfortable just walking outside and around people in general. I always felt like people were not paying attention to anyone else but all eyes were on me. It still kinda feels that way, but I'm getting a lil better at handling it because I try to not avoid it by ignoring it by, let's say, fidgeting with my purse or something to avoid the pain. We have to talk cos I wanna hear from someone who can really really relate to what I'm going through. Either post on this wall again or feel free to email me at [email protected]. Good luck in everything and hope to hear from you soon!
 

Vonnie

Active member
Hi Kalima! Whew...It's such a relief to know I'm not the only one who feels like I do when I'm outside. Yeah! I've been doing the same thing that helps take my mind off people watching me. I'll hold my keys in my hand. I'll focus on that or on something positive to stop me from feeling self conscious and fearing I'll lose my balance. Like many people have said here, it's practice and it also takes time, kinda like reprogramming your mind after thinking negative for so long. Yeah, I don't mind talking to you here again. I'll send an e-mail, too. Wish you all the best :D
 

Kalima

Well-known member
Hi Vonnie and everyone,

Do you ever find people saying, "why do you walk like that"? It's so annoying! With me, I somehow overcame my fear of talking to people in regular conversations but I still get a lil shaken up by public speaking but just as much as the average "normal" person. But when it comes to doing things such as writing in front of other people or walking around in public, I really really feel uncomfortable b/c it seems like everyone's focusing on me (then I think they must be wondering "what's wrong with her?"). As a result, I try to do these things perfectly so that people can't say anything wrong about me but the more I try, the more I become awkward. Maybe it's in this that people do actually begin to notice me because I'm inadvertently making my worst fear come true, everyone staring at me and feeling out of control. Does anyone feel like this? Hell, I should even start a new thread with this!
 

joshueg

Well-known member
Hello Vonnie, i think what you are feeling is very usual when suffering from social phobia. I have exactly the same symptoms. You are not a weird person, not at all. :wink:
 

rko74

Well-known member
wow, i feel the exact same way!

When im out of the house i feel everyone is looking at me and scrutinizing me.Even when cars pass by me i think the people in the cars lookin at me.I dont feel so bad when cars pass me by now though but when i was in my late teens it annoyed me greatly.Also i find it really difficult to eat in a restaurant, i feel very self concious.I get this feeling when i eat that i will loose control my my head and limbs will shake or do something really embarressing.It's strange, back in the 6th grade some kid in our class would make odd jerks with his head and i remember thinking dam thats gotta be embaressing.Wonder if i internalised that, weird lol.Some thoughts amd feelings are really strange.

I found it difficult attending college because of that loosing control of my head and freaking out feeling and being seen like i was shaking or loosing it.So i had to come out of college it was so uncomfortable.I couldnt focus on the work and what the teacher was teaching and only could think about what others thought of me, and worrying about loosing control and making a fool out of myself.I kind of relate the feeling of loosing control like falling in a dream and jolting in your sleep.
 

Vonnie

Active member
Kalima, when I'm outside, sometimes people will tell me, are you okay? You look upset. I'm thinking, upset? I'm not upset about anything. Then I realize I'm so nervous that my face will appear tense to others. And if I'm very anxious, I'll tend to rush past people. Someone I know will see me and say, hey! Then I'm like...oh no, they're probably wondering why I didn't say hello and thinking I'm rude. Now, if the person knew about my SA, they would know why I'm acting that way but I'm definitely not comfortable telling anyone about my phobias unless I knew they had it too or was very understanding about it. Also, the reason why I feel this way outside is like you said Kalima, wanting to be perfect. My thoughts are saying, they're watching you, you better not trip or do anything foolish...in other words...stay in control. Be perfect, don't make any mistakes and you'll be all right in the eyes of these strangers. What happens when you think that way, the anxiety gets worse and worse. So, yeah, it's very annoying and I'm trying very hard to stop being a PERFECTIONIST! I had to scream because I really get tired of it.

rko74, I feel the same way about people watching me in cars. If I'm walking and there are cars waiting for the light to change, OMG...I'm thinking they're staring at me and that's when I'll start feeling like I'm losing my balance, afraid to fall and try to walk perfectly. In HS, I had a very difficult time: avoiding the lunchroom because I couldn't eat in front of the other students, unable to concentrate in class because it was crowded. Anxiety crippled me so bad I dropped out. My self esteem really plummeted after that but the good thing is I got my GED. Everyone, thank you for sharing. At first I thought I'd feel worse but now I see it's a good thing to share and give support.

Joshueg, thanks again! All these years I've felt like I was crazy. It's a huge relief to know that I'm not weird. Now I'm gonna give you all a big (((hug))) :mrgreen:
 

Kalima

Well-known member
Wow, it's really a nice relief to know that other people can relate to what I'm going through. I can relate to basically everything here! We're really not weird after all, we just have some things to work out (in the least for some).
 

Kalima

Well-known member
Vonnie,

Hey I wanna talk some more. What's your email address? AS I said before, I feel like we have so much in common and what better than to talk to someone u can really really relate to. I'm also in new york state. My email = [email protected]. Hope to hear from you soon.
 

Snowcrash

Well-known member
Ok, while we are on the topic of feeling weird outside, how about yardwork?

My neighbors are really OK people and all, but I am totally weird about being out in my yard at the same time they are. If I am mowing grass and my neighbor comes out to mow I will quickly take a break, or mow over to the other side of the house. Hopefully it doesn't seem to obvious to them.

Though I did catch myself clearing leaves in the dark the other night.....
 
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