Does anybody here have a deadbeat dad?

S

SadSally

Well-known member
I do.
He was around for the first 13 years of my life, moved out, only came to the house to see my mother (they were still together, just not living together anymore). He would never come around to see me. He'd only say "hi" and that was it. He never had a real conversation with me or took any interest in my life.

Basically, two yeas ago when I was 18, he cheated on my mom. He hasn't spoken to him since then. Now he wanders around the town with his druggie girlfriend (he's an alcoholic too) and acts like i never existed. I've randomly seen him four or five times when i was down town, each time he turned his head and acted like he never saw me. One time I was in a grocery store and I saw him shopping with his mistress. He saw me, ditched his shopping cart, and ran out of the store before his girlfriend could see me.

He lives about 30 minutes away from me and acts like i don't exist. He's useless anyway so I don't care. He's always been a drunken, violet, deadbeat, so I'm glad he's gone. I never loved him.

Anyone else have this issue?
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I had one...

And I don't mean to sound harsh but yer better off without him in yer life. Seriously, my dad was absent for 15 years of my life, and he made my life miserable. As did my mum... And the rest of my family.

There's nothing worse than having a negative influence or role model in yer life.

Anyway, don't waste years of yer life trying to establish a relationship with him, if he acts like you don't exist that should speak volumes as far as how he feels about you. Just move on and make the best of things.

Sorry, this just struck a nerve with me. Having had a similar experience.
 
S

SadSally

Well-known member
Graeme1988 said:
I had one...

And I don't mean to sound harsh but yer better off without him in yer life. Seriously, my dad was absent for 15 years of my life, and he made my life miserable. As did my mum... And the rest of my family.

There's nothing worse than having a negative influence or role model in yer life.

Anyway, don't waste years of yer life trying to establish a relationship with him, if he acts like you don't exist that should speak volumes as far as how he feels about you. Just move on and make the best of things.

Sorry, this just struck a nerve with me. Having had a similar experience.
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I agree with you. Father or not, if he is a useless scumbag, then he's not worth your time.
 
Isabella

Isabella

New member
My father was gone from my life since I was about 6 but my parents got a divorce when I was 5. He was an alcoholic too, In fact he did Meth. I don't dwell on the details. I remember what fun times we did have in my kindergarten-first grade mind and try not too look back longing for more memories with my father. From a young age I have grown to accept the fact that he might not come around, and If he does I'd better be prepared to sit down and listen. I feel like being a young adult you should try not to dwell on the fact that he isn't doing well right now. They are his mistakes and you shouldn't feel bad about it. You can try to reach out, but accept the fact that Right now might not necessarily be a good time. All in all, maybe as he grows older he will realize what he has done, you never know. My mother told me her mom was strict and cruel (socially) to her as a kid, but today I can do much more at my grandmother's house then my mom could do as her daughter. This is because as she got older she realized she messed up.
All in all don't stress on the fact that he is gone right now. Try to carry on with your life. And if you have problems with that let me know, I'm glad to help :)
 
S

SadSally

Well-known member
Isabella said:
My father was gone from my life since I was about 6 but my parents got a divorce when I was 5. He was an alcoholic too, In fact he did Meth. I don't dwell on the details. I remember what fun times we did have in my kindergarten-first grade mind and try not too look back longing for more memories with my father. From a young age I have grown to accept the fact that he might not come around, and If he does I'd better be prepared to sit down and listen. I feel like being a young adult you should try not to dwell on the fact that he isn't doing well right now. They are his mistakes and you shouldn't feel bad about it. You can try to reach out, but accept the fact that Right now might not necessarily be a good time. All in all, maybe as he grows older he will realize what he has done, you never know. My mother told me her mom was strict and cruel (socially) to her as a kid, but today I can do much more at my grandmother's house then my mom could do as her daughter. This is because as she got older she realized she messed up.
All in all don't stress on the fact that he is gone right now. Try to carry on with your life. And if you have problems with that let me know, I'm glad to help :)
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Thanks. I never plan on reaching out to him. He's a selfish, violent ****. Also, he used to/probably still does sell meth/pimp.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
Yes, I had a mean and nasty Dad.

He cheated on my mother when I was just 2 years old.

My step-mother later told my mother that my dad had told her that the two young children playing out the front of the block of apartments were not his.

I know how much it cuts into your soul when your father denies your existence and then never cares whether you are alive or not for the rest of his life.
I don't understand how a parent can do that, let alone why. :idontknow:

He died a few years ago of cancer - we found out from our step-mother.
I don't even know why I bothered going to his funeral.
The wife of a work colleague of his started talking to me and eventually asked me "So how did you know *******?"
It was really awkward to reply to someone who knew him really well, that I was his daughter. >.>
 
SoScared

SoScared

Well-known member
My dad was not what would normally be termed deadbeat. He was really quite up himself and thought of himself as I high achiever even though I don't think he was. He sucked as a parent and husband so he falls into the deadbeat category because he did not try.
 
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