SocialPhobiaWorld.com  
     

Home Today's Posts Register Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
 
Go Back   SocialPhobiaWorld.com > Social Anxiety Disorder Forums > Social Anxiety Forum
 
Search this Thread
Old 02-16-2017
 

For a while, I've been feeling lonely. I'm not looking for pity or sympathy but I just need someone to relate to. I need someone who will understand what I'm putting here. Ive been back at college for almost a month and I barely have friends to interact with. I only have 2 or 4 friends but I don't see them often. Next week, there's a club fair which hopefully will be a chance for me to make friends.

So how about you? Does anyone feel the same way? Can you provide some stories? How do you cope with it? Any other input?
Ljj77700 is offline  
Old 02-18-2017
FountainandFairfax's Avatar
I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
Elite User
 

I don't really feel lonely, most people actually tend to annoy me. But at the same time, I don't like being rejected by anyone who I do like, so I know how it feels to want to be included but ignored.

I imagine it's tough being away from home and sort of feeling like you're on an island by yourself. That's probably the main reason I didn't make a better effort at college after I graduated from high school. I couldn't handle starting from zero again and going four years feeling like a reject, which is basically the way it felt until I started playing sports and became popular after middle school.

I took some classes a few times in my twenties, but I was so uncomfortable every time the instructors put us into groups that I always ended up quitting. It felt like everyone was staring at me and wondering why I was even there if I was that weird.

It's good that you're hanging in there, you're probably more confident than I was. You seem to know you're worth liking, which is something I never got a handle on. Maybe things will get better soon, but you're definitely not alone in the way you feel.
FountainandFairfax is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to FountainandFairfax For This Useful Post:
Ljj77700 (02-19-2017)
Old 02-19-2017
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by FountainandFairfax View Post
I don't really feel lonely, most people actually tend to annoy me. But at the same time, I don't like being rejected by anyone who I do like, so I know how it feels to want to be included but ignored.

I imagine it's tough being away from home and sort of feeling like you're on an island by yourself. That's probably the main reason I didn't make a better effort at college after I graduated from high school. I couldn't handle starting from zero again and going four years feeling like a reject, which is basically the way it felt until I started playing sports and became popular after middle school.

I took some classes a few times in my twenties, but I was so uncomfortable every time the instructors put us into groups that I always ended up quitting. It felt like everyone was staring at me and wondering why I was even there if I was that weird.

It's good that you're hanging in there, you're probably more confident than I was. You seem to know you're worth liking, which is something I never got a handle on. Maybe things will get better soon, but you're definitely not alone in the way you feel.
Thanks. I enjoyed reading this. My confidence could be a little higher, though.
Ljj77700 is offline  
Old 02-19-2017
awkwardamanda's Avatar
Elite User
 

I get pretty lonely. I need a lot of time to myself, but it just ends up being too much.

I really don't feel like I even have any friends anymore. I've just grown apart from every friend I've ever had. The only person I still consider a friend lives in another city now. We still text occasionally, and I've gone to visit a couple of times. I've known her long enough that we can still talk and have fun if we do meet up, even if we don't actually keep in touch that often. But I don't have anyone to spend time with anymore. I'm bored out of my mind. I'd like to be able to spend an evening at a coffee shop talking with friends or something, but there just aren't any friends to hang out with. I spent six years in university and did not make a single friend. There were a few acquaintances I talked to in class a little and that's it. It never got past that. When I did talk to people I was too shy to even introduce myself. I was envious when I saw all the people in my classes talking and hanging out. They had friends to talk to and people to study with. I was a quiet loner. I don't think I'll ever make new friends.

I've had a boyfriend only once and never even gone on so much as a date with anyone else. I've been single more than nine years. It sucks, but I can't get my life together so I'm not in any position to be dating. My job situation is unstable and I still live with my parents. Not exactly proud of that. But it's not as if anyone's ever interested in me anyway.

It's a hard rut to get out of. It's so much easier to meet people when you already know people. And I just never really connect with people anyway. Small talk is lame and awkward. Most of the time I'm indifferent and don't care much about whatever people want to talk about anyway. I just don't relate to most people. I don't want an active social life. But it would be nice to have maybe a couple of decent friends to hang out with and talk to now and then. Going out of my way to try and meet people just seems forced and awkward though. So lonerville it is.
awkwardamanda is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to awkwardamanda For This Useful Post:
Bronson99 (4 Weeks Ago), Ljj77700 (4 Weeks Ago)
Old 02-19-2017
Mikazuki1590's Avatar
Newbie User
 

I do for sure. I've struggled with depression the last 3 years and loneliness as well. Luckily I have a great family I live with but I only have one actual non related friend outside of home.

I get really lonely at night as I'm a night owl and usually everyone else is asleep in my house. If any other lonely peeps want an online friend to chat with whenever feel free to add me. :]
Mikazuki1590 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mikazuki1590 For This Useful Post:
Hot_Tamale (4 Weeks Ago), Ljj77700 (4 Weeks Ago)
Old 4 Weeks Ago
theslowesthand's Avatar
Elite User
 

Here's a good article. Read the comments too, they're good.
Why Loneliness Hurts So Much

I seem able to keep loneliness at bay, by avoiding depression, and also alcohol (in moderation) helps too.
theslowesthand is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to theslowesthand For This Useful Post:
Ljj77700 (4 Weeks Ago)
Old 4 Weeks Ago
theslowesthand's Avatar
Elite User
 

"Loneliness gnaws at us when connections fail."

"Human beings are social animals, and the tenor of our social life is one of the most important influences on our mental health. Without positive, durable relationships, both our minds and our bodies fall apart." (I can vouch for that!)

"Loneliness is an intense longing to be with someone else; I have people in my life whom I love deeply, but I don’t feel the need to be with them constantly".

"Loneliness isn't about being alone, it's about not feeling connected."
theslowesthand is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to theslowesthand For This Useful Post:
Ljj77700 (4 Weeks Ago)
Old 4 Weeks Ago
Mikazuki1590's Avatar
Newbie User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by theslowesthand View Post
I seem able to keep loneliness at bay, by avoiding depression, and also alcohol (in moderation) helps too.
Cheers to that!
Mikazuki1590 is offline  
Old 4 Weeks Ago
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by awkwardamanda View Post
I get pretty lonely. I need a lot of time to myself, but it just ends up being too much.

I really don't feel like I even have any friends anymore. I've just grown apart from every friend I've ever had. The only person I still consider a friend lives in another city now. We still text occasionally, and I've gone to visit a couple of times. I've known her long enough that we can still talk and have fun if we do meet up, even if we don't actually keep in touch that often. But I don't have anyone to spend time with anymore. I'm bored out of my mind. I'd like to be able to spend an evening at a coffee shop talking with friends or something, but there just aren't any friends to hang out with. I spent six years in university and did not make a single friend. There were a few acquaintances I talked to in class a little and that's it. It never got past that. When I did talk to people I was too shy to even introduce myself. I was envious when I saw all the people in my classes talking and hanging out. They had friends to talk to and people to study with. I was a quiet loner. I don't think I'll ever make new friends.

I've had a boyfriend only once and never even gone on so much as a date with anyone else. I've been single more than nine years. It sucks, but I can't get my life together so I'm not in any position to be dating. My job situation is unstable and I still live with my parents. Not exactly proud of that. But it's not as if anyone's ever interested in me anyway.

It's a hard rut to get out of. It's so much easier to meet people when you already know people. And I just never really connect with people anyway. Small talk is lame and awkward. Most of the time I'm indifferent and don't care much about whatever people want to talk about anyway. I just don't relate to most people. I don't want an active social life. But it would be nice to have maybe a couple of decent friends to hang out with and talk to now and then. Going out of my way to try and meet people just seems forced and awkward though. So lonerville it is.
Very relatable. It resonates with me to some extent. There are exceptions, though.
Ljj77700 is offline  
Old 4 Weeks Ago
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by theslowesthand View Post
Here's a good article. Read the comments too, they're good.
Why Loneliness Hurts So Much

I seem able to keep loneliness at bay, by avoiding depression, and also alcohol (in moderation) helps too.
Thank you.
Ljj77700 is offline  
Post Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads to Does anyone else struggle with loneliness?
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How Many of You Struggle with Two Identities? Lonely_Writer Social Anxiety Forum 22 02-04-2013 05:51 PM



Mobile Version
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2
All times are GMT. The time now is 01:00 PM.