I get pretty lonely. I need a lot of time to myself, but it just ends up being too much.
I really don't feel like I even have any friends anymore. I've just grown apart from every friend I've ever had. The only person I still consider a friend lives in another city now. We still text occasionally, and I've gone to visit a couple of times. I've known her long enough that we can still talk and have fun if we do meet up, even if we don't actually keep in touch that often. But I don't have anyone to spend time with anymore. I'm bored out of my mind. I'd like to be able to spend an evening at a coffee shop talking with friends or something, but there just aren't any friends to hang out with. I spent six years in university and did not make a single friend. There were a few acquaintances I talked to in class a little and that's it. It never got past that. When I did talk to people I was too shy to even introduce myself. I was envious when I saw all the people in my classes talking and hanging out. They had friends to talk to and people to study with. I was a quiet loner. I don't think I'll ever make new friends.
I've had a boyfriend only once and never even gone on so much as a date with anyone else. I've been single more than nine years. It sucks, but I can't get my life together so I'm not in any position to be dating. My job situation is unstable and I still live with my parents. Not exactly proud of that. But it's not as if anyone's ever interested in me anyway.
It's a hard rut to get out of. It's so much easier to meet people when you already know people. And I just never really connect with people anyway. Small talk is lame and awkward. Most of the time I'm indifferent and don't care much about whatever people want to talk about anyway. I just don't relate to most people. I don't want an active social life. But it would be nice to have maybe a couple of decent friends to hang out with and talk to now and then. Going out of my way to try and meet people just seems forced and awkward though. So lonerville it is.