Isawthelight

At my job it seems like I'm always in the process of avoiding someone/something. I hate that feeling but it seems so much more tolerable than dealing with the judgemental, critical, superficial, arrogant (or maybe just confident) people. Everybody seems to be at such ease in any situation. How is that possible? Everybody else seems to be in this "loop" but me. I love coming home from work and drinking and getting on the computer and watching tv where I can FINALLY be comfortable and be myself!

young

and what loop exaclty would you be talking about? the loop of having conversations with others?

coolguy2005

Isaw.

I know your feeling. I have the same thing as you. Here are some things that I hope will ease your mind.

1. You are not the only one. If you have SA, there is probably one other person you know that has it in some form. Some people are just better at hiding their condition than others. Just because they appear at ease, doesn't mean they are necessairly comfortable. Appearances can be decieving.

2. The fact that you avoid someone/something shows that you let others control how you feel. Try this little trick(i'm trying it right now), try to feel good no matter what the situation is(within limited boundaries e.g you obviously wont' feel good if somebody you know dies).

Example

Somebody is screaming/shouting at you for doing something wrong. That's an external influence. Remember, feel good. Tell yourself, it is them that need work! They are the ones upset. Maybe even crack a joke or something, it can lighten up the situation.

E.g You think somebody you work with hates you. So who cares? Feel good. And how do you know they hate you. Do you see where i'm going with this?

coolguy2005

Isaw.

I know your feeling. I have the same thing as you. Here are some things that I hope will ease your mind.

1. You are not the only one. If you have SA, there is probably one other person you know that has it in some form. Some people are just better at hiding their condition than others. Just because they appear at ease, doesn't mean they are necessairly comfortable. Appearances can be decieving.

2. The fact that you avoid someone/something shows that you let others control how you feel. Try this little trick(i'm trying it right now), try to feel good no matter what the situation is(within limited boundaries e.g you obviously wont' feel good if somebody you know dies).

Example

Somebody is screaming/shouting at you for doing something wrong. That's an external influence. Remember, feel good. Tell yourself, it is them that need work! They are the ones upset. Maybe even crack a joke or something, it can lighten up the situation.

E.g You think somebody you work with hates you. So who cares? Feel good. And how do you know they hate you. Do you see where i'm going with this?

magda74

I'm so bad with this. Always thinking everyone else has it all together except for me. It can be so exhausting don't you think?

Sometimes I've talked to someone and they'll mention how uncomfortable they were about something, or someone's comment really hurt them and i'm truly shocked. I didn't pick it up at all. Or i gave a 'how to' seminar at a previous job a year ago and a couple people mentioned that i seemed so at ease, while inside i thought i was going to be sick and everyone knew it!

I wonder if sometimes we see what we expect to see. I know for sure I've made an ass out of myself, but I don't recognize when I'm getting away with appearing self-assured.

young

some people can hide their nervousness better than others.

moog

I feel like this too a bit. I sit in my cubicle and hope that no one says anything to me or comes over and bothers me. And when someone does talk to me, I am paranoid the whole time cuz I don't like others to hear what I am saying to the person. Last week this one guy (the type who never shuts up and is always joking) made a comment about how quiet I am, in a sarcastic way.

young

people do that when someone is quite. they'll say something like geez don't talk to much. Or why take a breath there. It's not ment to offend anyone. It's usually said to try and get you to smile, or just maybe get you to talk. Tho small talk can be nerver recking. Usually more so when it's someone you don't want to talk to. Like the cashier at the store. But when it's someone you want to talk to. I'm sure you'd want them to come up to you instead of vice versa. I would anyways.