Dont You Hate It When "Normal" People Complain?

Beleza said:

This is sooo judgmental. No one really knows what goes on with others or if they are "normal" or not. It ticks me off that someone thinks they have a right to complain more than another person. It's selfish and jealousy. I go through BS with this GAD but I have no right to judge someone else and many people hide their emotions. I know I wouldn't want someone to judge me. I've been to groups in school and admitted to hospitals and have listen to all walks off lives that appeared to be "normal" but there are many things people don't tell each other.

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I agree. Not many people know about my SA or can tell I have it, so they probably think I'm 'normal' but they don't realise it's actually quite hard for me a lot of the time. You can't judge somebody just from what you see on the outside, the chances are they might be going through hell in their heads.

The so called normal people may have complaints about lifes' other problems that they are entitled to have. No big deal right? Of course these people may never understand what real social phobia is all about. Trying to make them understand is really not a concern to me, they will think whatever they want to think anyway.

Everybody complains down to the core. We could have celebrity status and millions of dollars but yet nothing is exactly perfect.
That's the whole concept. Nothing is perfect. Cliche, yes, but those people that look normal could in fact be far worse off than me. We never know what goes on behind closed doors. Sometimes a simple complaint: 'I hate my life' or 'I'm not good at this or that'... could be all they got to express how they feel.

I'm a big complainer, don't get me wrong, but I like listening to what people think is going on with them and help them. So no it doesn't bother me nor do I hate it. I do not think they are being selfish by complaining. I don't expect them to feel sorry for me. I don't want them to be.

That reminds me of what my sister witnessed at her job. This posh lady starts going, "I had the worse day ever yesterday!!!.....I just found out my best friend can't make it to my birthday trip to Paris!" She was really serious about it.
I feel guilty judging because I complain about dumb stuff all the time...but you have to admit this is a little amusing.

Nobody is issue and drama free. Life will knock on everyone's door.

Beleza said:

This is sooo judgmental. No one really knows what goes on with others or if they are "normal" or not. It ticks me off that someone thinks they have a right to complain more than another person. It's selfish and jealousy. I go through BS with this GAD but I have no right to judge someone else and many people hide their emotions. I know I wouldn't want someone to judge me. I've been to groups in school and admitted to hospitals and have listen to all walks off lives that appeared to be "normal" but there are many things people don't tell each other.

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Well put. We never know what other people are going through or what they have been through. Someone will always have it worse...and someone will always have it better...but we still all feel our pain.

This is a load of bull.

Just because people live "normal" lives, doesn't mean that they don't have their own share of problems as well.

Don't fall into the "special snowflake" mentality, my friend.

I usually don´t mind when people complain, I listen to it and then I make a picture of the whole situation - I get to see what´s behind it, if real depair and depression, or rather something negative, like thirst for revenge or egoistic concerns or any kind.. Some people just seem to enjoy complaining (and taking up other´s time with it), but when you try to suggest something constructive they always make excuses why it is not possible or just don´t seem to be interested in changing their situation.

That said, I still think showing compassion or listening is better than giving instant smart ass advices like some "positivists" do. These people really never need to be nice or compassionate to others, because for example if someone gets mugged or something, they have explanation "that´s because you have bad karma", "that´s only your lesson" or "that´s because of this or that" etc. May be true, who knows. But if everyone always was so coldly judgmental like this, soon there would be only hateful and bitchy people in the world.

But I think this wasn´t really to the point of this topic. I don´t "hate" it, but it is quite painful sometimes to hear how people complain about their partnerships, marriages, cry about misscarriages etc... all these problems which everyone considers so normal that they can´t even imagine what it is like to be someone who can´t even have this normal life.

I shouldn´t even read about it in fact, because it is so far away to me that I can´t relate to these problems, but I still do try to read and listen to people´s concerns. I understand it in a way and know that it isn´t always easy even for them. But still, tbh I think I am in the biggest s**t myself. Even though it maybe isn´t true, this is how I feel.

Then again, there's always something worse than the other. Such as blindness is worse than social anxiety. You then find they would ask the same question...

dancingintherain said:

Then again, there's always something worse than the other. Such as blindness is worse than social anxiety. You then find they would ask the same question...

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Yeah, I agree. There're people in way more worse condition than me and when I hear about them it kinda feels stupid to complain about my problems but I guess everyone's problems are unique to them and knowing that others have it worse doesn't make us feel any better.

dancingintherain said:

Then again, there's always something worse than the other. Such as blindness is worse than social anxiety. You then find they would ask the same question...

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Yeah this definitely. I thought about it a lot what it would be like and just the thought is so depressing that I if it should ever happen to me, I plan on swallowing some pills in case I can get hold of them somehow ::.

Lea said:

Yeah this definitely. I thought about it a lot what it would be like and just the thought is so depressing that I if it should ever happen to me, I plan on swallowing some pills in case I can get hold of them somehow ::.

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Please don't ever do that, even though you're going through Hades and may not have any hope right now. Plus swallowing many pills will make your body go through many things and you could maybe feel it and regret it before you die. Why? You want to do that? :: You may be depressed right now, but you only have one life to live and I'm pretty sure there are some people that love you. Don't do it. I want to give you big a squeeze right about now.

Thanks Beleza, let´s just hope it will never happen .

I know this thread was probably made a long time ago, but I wanted vent out some of my frustrations on here to get off my chest. I hate that most people with worse problems (being stuck in wheel chairs, has diseases, ect) have the most difficult in being happy with themselves. I know that most people on here had posted that everyone has problems, and while that may be true, it seems like the people who have it more easier in life only have problems that don't really last compared to other with actual serious problems.

I think extroverts have it easier because they all have everything that we don't have (social skills, friends, jobs, ect) so they're less likely to come across difficult situations. I guess I don't really like the way I've lived my life because I have been around with so many people who would hurt me and control my life whereas when I'm around people who are positive and happy and telling me to cheer up and ask why I'm so quiet, it's very frustrating and drives me crazy because they don't understand what my life is like. I'm always either around people who are depressed, controlling, angry or happy so it's nearly impossible for me to actually feel happy with myself and enjoy life.

What I don't understand is why some happy extroverted people can be cruel and put us down for our problems for no reason because it seems that they have better lives than ours. I've had people complain to me because I was quiet, I don't talk much, and make me feel bad by constantly putting me through guilt trips. And most of these people who complained to me were the extroverted, controlling people. It seems like they're the ones who want to make my life more miserable than it already is, but I do try my best to just be polite and say I'm tired or I don't have anything to say. I know I'm rambling and going off subject, I guess I've felt so much bitterness and resentment all of these years but I could never really express myself to anyone about my feelings.

Problems in life create a great habit of Overcoming the difficulties.
A skill that all of us will need at some point in life.

some people complain about things that seem minor to you but you don't really know how someone feels unless you step in their shoes. They might look at you getting upset about a person ignoring you in a store or commenting that your quiet and think "it happens get over it" not knowing the inner turmoil your feeling. The same goes the other way.
One thing Ive learned is that if you get over one thing you can be happy for a time but you soon find something else to bother you. Some people are maybe more prone to unhappiness than others.

In getting over SA I haven't always found happiness. I have accepted my life now as the norm and as is true with human nature we keep wanting more of what we cant have. I have experienced jealousy and heartbreak now that I have the confidence to talk to women and I have been depressed because I have had problems at work and financial trouble and to be honest it felt just as bad as how I felt back when I was worrying about my anxiety problems. I look at how my life used to be and I know my situation is vastly improved but I get no comfort from that as that was then and this is now.

On another note do you ever wonder why suicide and depression statistics are higher in the more developed world. Obviously its more easily diagnosed in the modern world and more people are maybe more confident talking about it so there could be discrepencies in the results but maybe theres some truth.

Our social media provides us with too much information about how other people live and we compare our lives to those of others and we feel inadequate.
People in poorer parts of the world have lots of problems, diseases, food shortages and deaths in the family etc that we think should be the worst kind of problems but a lot of the time they seem to accept this as part of life and are often happy. They don't know any different and see their lives as normal where as we often don't and compare ourselves to others making us anxious and unhappy with ourselves.

The problem is theres no going back. We couldn't swap lives with them now because we would be too bored and used to our modern way of life. Social media is as much a curse as a blessing. If only we could accept our lot in life.

I stay the f away from social media. They just had a piece on the news about how people use social media to make their lives look better than they actually are.
It's almost like social media is setup to make people feel bad about themselves.