Dorian Gray

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Earthcircle

Well-known member
One thing that really makes me sad is that, even if I do make some progress, I am also aging. I first went into therapy when I was 15, and have worked for years to try to be normal. I think I failed. At the very least, there has been no clear success. People still say I'm weird. But next month I turn 50, and I realize that even if I somehow become normal I still won't be 15 again or even 30. It doesn't seem fair.
 
IntheLabyrinth

IntheLabyrinth

Well-known member
Earthcircle said:
One thing that really makes me sad is that, even if I do make some progress, I am also aging. I first went into therapy when I was 15, and have worked for years to try to be normal. I think I failed. At the very least, there has been no clear success. People still say I'm weird. But next month I turn 50, and I realize that even if I somehow become normal I still won't be 15 again or even 30. It doesn't seem fair.
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I completely agree, it's not fair, but the world is not a fair place. It's a bitch but the best you can do is enjoy the time you have being "normal."
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
[Alice checks Hatter's temperature]
Alice Kingsley: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

So you're still weird (whatever that is) or not quite normal (again, whatever that is). So what-Just be as happy as you can be. Love those who love you and forget the rest. Do the things that bring you joy.

The world can't even decide what to have for lunch let alone define what constitutes a good life.
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
P.S I had to google Dorian Gray to know what you were referring too. Feeling a little illiterate! I want to read the book! ...I will read it, although Wiki gave away the ending.
 
MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
I love the Dorian Gray character on Penny Dreadful!

Ugh "normal" is boring. EC...embrace yourself, even if people don't like you You will be true to who you are which is way more important than fitting in.
 
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Earthcircle

Well-known member
MollyBeGood said:
I love the Dorian Gray character on Penny Dreadful!

Ugh "normal" is boring. EC...embrace yourself, even if people don't like you You will be true to who you are which is way more important than fitting in.
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It's not that simple. It's fine to say "Oh, just be yourself." But then what happens when people are screaming at you in rage or falsely accusing you of a crime. When people think you're severely mentally ill, you become a suspect.
 
S_Spartan

S_Spartan

Well-known member
Earthcircle said:
It's not that simple. It's fine to say "Oh, just be yourself." But then what happens when people are screaming at you in rage or falsely accusing you of a crime. When people think you're severely mentally ill, you become a suspect.
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I agree. I often wonder how many criminals sitting in prison were just "being themselves."
Not implying you are like them just using it as an illustration to make a point.

Also I think it's more acceptable for a woman to be seen as mentally ill because people will take pity but they may think a mentally ill man is a "creep" or a threat.
 
MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
Earthcircle said:
It's not that simple. It's fine to say "Oh, just be yourself." But then what happens when people are screaming at you in rage or falsely accusing you of a crime. When people think you're severely mentally ill, you become a suspect.
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It's never simple I know. I just felt like you were worried about fitting-in on a superficial level...obviously now I see from your response you are doing something to make you a serious target and ostracized.

What are you doing to make people scream at you in rage?
 
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MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
S_Spartan said:
I agree. I often wonder how many criminals sitting in prison were just "being themselves."
Not implying you are like them just using it as an illustration to make a point.

Also I think it's more acceptable for a woman to be seen as mentally ill because people will take pity but they may think a mentally ill man is a "creep" or a threat.
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Why did this become a gender issue? I was thinking he wasn't as bad-off as he described. Apparently he is really. When most people are saying "fitting in" here they mean invited to parties and being like everyone else that way. He is now saying people are scared of him. That is not the same.
 
S_Spartan

S_Spartan

Well-known member
MollyBeGood said:
Why did this become a gender issue? I was thinking he wasn't as bad-off as he described. Apparently he is really. When most people are saying "fitting in" here they mean invited to parties and being like everyone else that way. He is now saying people are scared of him. That is not the same.
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When you are a guy and you deviate too far from the norm you make others "uncomfortable". I can relate. I make people uncomfortable too. Hence why I am here on this site.
 
MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
S_Spartan said:
When you are a guy and you deviate too far from the norm you make others "uncomfortable". I can relate. I make people uncomfortable too. Hence why I am here on this site.
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I think unless you are posing a physical threat to someone, deviation from the norm, and people's inability to accept humans that are different, effects both genders.

It's when someone is bigger, men are by most accounts than women, and able to cause physical harm that men are more of a target for being treated unfair IMO

Not sure how you make people so uncomfortable- you seem polite from your posts here and try to be very friendly when in public from what I remember you mentioning.
 
MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
It's ironic the woman who dog-napped my dog a few days back was openly called "The Crazy Lady" by some locals in town who were keeping him while they tried to find his owner(me), long story, but my point is they were relatively prominent people in the community and were bashing this woman calling her Crazy to us. I still have no idea how she has gotten that title but it's probably just from being a hermit.
 
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Aylaa

Well-known member
MollyBeGood said:
It's ironic the woman who dog-napped my dog a few days back was openly called "The Crazy Lady" by some locals in town who were keeping him while they tried to find his owner(me), long story, but my point is they were relatively prominent people in the community and were bashing this woman calling her Crazy to us. I still have no idea how she has gotten that title but it's probably just from being a hermit.
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Dog-napping is normal?
Although I agree people are very quick to judge.
 
MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
Aylaa said:
Dog-napping is normal?
Although I agree people are very quick to judge.
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Long story was too long...short version...

she tried to find who owned him, he didn't have his collar on, and there was a highly publicized missing dog who looked similar to him in the area, so she took picked him up.

-they did say she had done similar things before that were "crazy".
 
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Earthcircle

Well-known member
Why do people get angry at me? It's never the same thing from case to case. Always something different. I can never predict when it will happen or why it will happen. But the level of anger always shocks and frightens me.

As for being accused of a crime, this is a good way to get money out of me. The accusation frightens me so much, and I'm so afraid the judge won't believe me since people often falsely accuse me of lying, I will end up paying the other person just to avoid any legal threat.
 
S_Spartan

S_Spartan

Well-known member
MollyBeGood said:
I think unless you are posing a physical threat to someone, deviation from the norm, and people's inability to accept humans that are different, effects both genders.
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I agree but I think it affects us different. For example: I've seen women out in public talking to themselves out loud and I think "hmmm...she seems quirky" but if I see a man talking to himself in public I think "I better get away from this guy"!


Not sure how you make people so uncomfortable- you seem polite from your posts here and try to be very friendly when in public from what I remember you mentioning.
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I don't have enough of a "filter".
 
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Earthcircle

Well-known member
S_Spartan said:
I don't have enough of a "filter".
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Back in the early 1990s, I was on Nardil for about 18 months. The drug must have turned off my filter, because it is generally agreed that, although less shy, I was terribly rude. I also put on weight. Otherwise, I might go back on Nardil.
 
S_Spartan

S_Spartan

Well-known member
Earthcircle said:
Back in the early 1990s, I was on Nardil for about 18 months. The drug must have turned off my filter, because it is generally agreed that, although less shy, I was terribly rude. I also put on weight. Otherwise, I might go back on Nardil.
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That is interesting. Wonder what effect it would have on you if you took it again?

I'm not rude, per se. But I make jokes and say things that aren't appropriate.
For example: I was on this job a few years ago and this woman dropped something heavy on her foot, so I joked, right in front of her boss and the person who was paying me to be there(the person who owned the business), "well there's a lawsuit"! And then everybody got terribly uncomfortable.
The irony is, a year later that woman did end up scamming the business out of a lot of money.
 
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