I was actually thinking about starting a thread on this before I found this one, as it's something I struggle with too. I'm more scared of spending time with friends than with strangers! I'll probably never see the strangers again so I don't really care what they think of me. If I need to ask for directions or the time, I don't have much of a problem asking a friendly looking stranger in the street - in fact it's kind of liberating to just walk up to someone I don't know and speak to them!
But when it comes to calling a friend or spending time with them, I get so nervous that I start to feel sick and shaky :( It's because I'm terrified of them deciding I'm a loser and not worth spending time with. I'm so scared of rejection that I push people away first, even though I know it's a self-defeating thing to do.
Originally Posted by SleepingBeauty
omg thats just like me. I cant imagine talking to real life friends about my problems or stuff like that. I think id be too uncomfortable. I actually wrote my friend a message online when my dad died. I just couldnt call her and tell her. Im really bad at that stuff.
But im used to being alone now. Somedays its hard though. I always push the good people in my life away. I guess maybe im afraid to like people cause I feel like they will turn on me or i will turn on them 8O
I can relate, Sleepy. I didn't talk to anyone about my feelings when my dad died. I got sent to see a counsellor, but I couldn't even open up to her! I just wrote all my feelings down instead and hid the writing away. I'm sorry to hear that you've been through that too *hugs*