emotionally afraid of being too close to people

Ok there has got to be something wrong with me. I'm broken in some form or fashion. The thought of having friends, talking to people about your problems, your feelings, what's bothering you.... really just terrifies me. It's hard for me to express my feelings to anyone. I've never had a close friend before. Actually, I have NO friends AT ALL. I feel annoyed, weird, and uncomfortable in social situations. Whenever someone tries to get to know me, I shut them out and become angry that they are trying to get to know me. And lately this girl from school who I was sort of friends with keeps calling and calling me and I never pick up. I don't know how to make friends or keep friends. The only people I interact with on a daily basis are my mom, my sister, and my brother. Well, not really my brother. He's just.... there.

It's not like I don't want friends. I don't want to be lonely.

awwhs I'm sorry you feel this way!! I am kind of similar too, but I actually want friends so so so soooo much, but I don't open up to anyone because I'm too afraid that they'll hate me. When someone has a conversation with me it's kind of similar to talking with a brick. I will never truely show myself to a person until I am so so so so so sure they'll accept me, which will take years. I don't have any true friends either, no one ever calls me. Do you actually want friends??? I'm sure you do, it's just you seem a little annoyed by people. And also, this girl who keeps calling you do you want to talk with her/be her friend???? If you do, you can't just ignor her. Things like these our your opportunities to try and make friends. You can't make friends by just sitting there waiting for the perfect thing to happen. Trust me I know because I don't have any either!! Anyways I wish you the best of luck in making friends. ♥ ♥ ♥

omg thats just like me. I cant imagine talking to real life friends about my problems or stuff like that. I think id be too uncomfortable. I actually wrote my friend a message online when my dad died. I just couldnt call her and tell her. Im really bad at that stuff.

But im used to being alone now. Somedays its hard though. I always push the good people in my life away. I guess maybe im afraid to like people cause I feel like they will let me down or something. 8O

I have the same type of problems. I kind of feel comfortable talking about stuff to people online, but it would be way to hard to do in real life. It would be way to intense for me to do.

That sounds like me. I think big part of the reason I am uncomfortable getting close to people is because of the embarresment i feel about my social life (or lack of it) but also because i lack experience in freely expressing myself in front of other people or even being vaguely emotional - it just seems so foreign but feels like someting i should be able to do. But i always get nervous when i push myself to do this, making any freedom of expression impossible so instead i feel like some kind of fraud trying to be something im not, especially when the nerves really get to me and i begin sounding as wooden as a sportsman doing a commercial. oh, the horror.

ktea said:

Ok there has got to be something wrong with me. I'm broken in some form or fashion. The thought of having friends, talking to people about your problems, your feelings, what's bothering you.... really just terrifies me. It's hard for me to express my feelings to anyone. I've never had a close friend before. Actually, I have NO friends AT ALL. I feel annoyed, weird, and uncomfortable in social situations. Whenever someone tries to get to know me, I shut them out and become angry that they are trying to get to know me. And lately this girl from school who I was sort of friends with keeps calling and calling me and I never pick up. I don't know how to make friends or keep friends. The only people I interact with on a daily basis are my mom, my sister, and my brother. Well, not really my brother. He's just.... there.

It's not like I don't want friends. I don't want to be lonely.

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Same here... I suggest you pick the freaking phone, and talk to the girl. Try. I lost many potential friends because of my lack of trying. Maybe is that your to use to being alone, you probably don't want to feel uncomfortable in new situations that might seem threatening to you.
You remind me of me when I was in high school freshman year, a lot of people wanted to get to know me but I shot them off.

I was actually thinking about starting a thread on this before I found this one, as it's something I struggle with too. I'm more scared of spending time with friends than with strangers! I'll probably never see the strangers again so I don't really care what they think of me. If I need to ask for directions or the time, I don't have much of a problem asking a friendly looking stranger in the street - in fact it's kind of liberating to just walk up to someone I don't know and speak to them!

But when it comes to calling a friend or spending time with them, I get so nervous that I start to feel sick and shaky It's because I'm terrified of them deciding I'm a loser and not worth spending time with. I'm so scared of rejection that I push people away first, even though I know it's a self-defeating thing to do.

SleepingBeauty said:

omg thats just like me. I cant imagine talking to real life friends about my problems or stuff like that. I think id be too uncomfortable. I actually wrote my friend a message online when my dad died. I just couldnt call her and tell her. Im really bad at that stuff.

But im used to being alone now. Somedays its hard though. I always push the good people in my life away. I guess maybe im afraid to like people cause I feel like they will turn on me or i will turn on them 8O

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I can relate, Sleepy. I didn't talk to anyone about my feelings when my dad died. I got sent to see a counsellor, but I couldn't even open up to her! I just wrote all my feelings down instead and hid the writing away. I'm sorry to hear that you've been through that too *hugs*