Everyone is having sex except me??

D

Depression4life

Member
It feels like everyone's having sex except me & I'm fed up!! It's the same every weekend & spending weekends alone especially in the summer where you suppsoed to be enjoying yourself it sucks really bad!! I got Severe Depression, GAD,SA & I'm introverted however I still decide to go out on Fridays or Saturdays to a pub or nightclub cause I'm not gonna meet any women staying at home & whenver I dont go out I always regret it. The thing is I go out every Friday/Saturday or whenever there's events at the club but most of the time I end up going home alone. Then I start getting jealous cause I assume most people are having sex whilst I'm on my own at home again!! The worst days are Sundays if I didnt meet anyone the night before then I obviously spend my Sundays alone at home & I always feel that other people/couples having sex all day on a Sunday & I get depressed & sad. Does anyone else feel this way?? I genuinly feel like everyone else is having sex or even having orgies/groupsex whilst I'm not & it makes me angry & sad :/ It feels like I'm missing out on great sexual pleasures.
What can I do to not feel this way anymore??
 
Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
Do you need to have sex to enjoy going out? Seems from your post that your main goal is to have sex. If your goal is to simply enjoy yourself, not only will you not be disappointed if you don't get laid, but you might meet someone who'll sleep with you when you're not expecting it.
 
Opaline

Opaline

1
Erm, well, at any given moment lots and lots of people are in fact having sex... and lots aren't. Pretty sure there aren't quite as many orgies going on as you seem to think.

Given the number of people I see out and about on Sundays, I don't think most of them are having sex all day.

:thinking:
 
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Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
It also seems to me that what you're looking for is a connection, whether physical or emotional. If you just want to have sex so badly, hire an escort. If you want something deeper, engage in enjoying yourself, meeting new people, and loving yourself. It'll happen eventually.
 
D

Depression4life

Member
Sacrament said:
Do you need to have sex to enjoy going out? Seems from your post that your main goal is to have sex. If your goal is to simply enjoy yourself, not only will you not be disappointed if you don't get laid, but you might meet someone who'll sleep with you when you're not expecting it.
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The thing is I don't enjoy going to pubs & nightclubs especially but that's the only/most popular place to meet women so I go there to get laid tbh. It just sucks that most people these days spend their friday/saturday nights at a nightclub/pub which I actually dislike cause I dont like dancing or singing but I need to go somewhere to meet women. Where else can I meet women on a friday/saturday night besides bars/nightclubs??
 
D

Depression4life

Member
Opaline said:
Erm, well, at any given moment lots and lots of people are in fact having sex... and lots aren't. Pretty sure there aren't quite as many orgies going on as you seem to think.

Given the number of people I see out and about on Sundays, I don't think most of them are having sex all day.

:thinking:
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I dont know I bet people are having sex/had sex at this very moment. I'm not jealous its just it would be nice to have sex on a regular basis like so many boys/girls are doing it :/
And I think theres more & more boys/girls attending orgies cause I see lots of girls on tinder & dating sites with pics of them with a "cat mask" the sort of thing you see at orgies!! I wouldnt wanna participate in an orgy tbh but its nice to be invited. Hence why I feel left out...
 
BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
One way to stop the feeling is preventing yourself from getting into that situation. Club/bar scenes are typically quite competitive in nature regarding casual intercourse, not exactly the most nurturing place to be for an introvert.

Have you considered trying your luck with a steady partner instead?
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
I think sex is an integral part of self esteem for most guys; combine that with an anxiety disorder and clinical depression and I'm not surprised you're feeling this way. I know I was SUPREMELY frustrated in my twenties and early thirties with my inability to meet women and have a healthy sex life.
 
Opaline

Opaline

1
kihira said:
INVITATION!

What: Orgy
When: Sunday next, all day
Where: A secret location
Dress: Feline

Hope you can come!

:militarysalute:
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:giggle:


...sorry I had to.


Not trying to mock the OP. I know it's frustrating (especially for a guy) to struggle with the opposite sex and not having a sex life.
 
S_Spartan

S_Spartan

Well-known member
I wish I could be of more help D4L, but the only thing I can say is that as you age your testosterone level will decrease and then sex can become just another part of life instead of being like the 500 pound elephant in the room everyday.

I will say this, if a woman could feel what it's like, even for one day to be a man in his 20s/30s with all that testosterone raging all the time they would never believe it!

Also I think that BlackPuma had a good point that it might be better for you to switch gears and get out of the bars/clubs and try to find a steady person to be with. Easier said than done, I know, but might be a good idea to simplify it all a bit.
 
DepravedFurball

DepravedFurball

Well-known member
Yahhhhh, see, I've been depressed since my last break-up, haven't had any inclination of finding another woman or havin' sex.

Been, oh... more than four years.

So if you're fantasizing about everyone makin' sweet, sweet love to one-another... just count me out fer nao, thx.
 
Bronson99

Bronson99

Well-known member
BlackPuma said:
Have you considered trying your luck with a steady partner instead?
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What if he's not looking for anything serious?

And before anyone does so, I don't think it's right to then just suggest the other extreme and say "hire an escort if you don't want something steady and serious" etc. Some folks have difficulty with traditional relationships, or for any number of other reasons, are looking for casual encounters (but not paid).

I don't believe an introvert cannot have a casual encounter... they'll be "out-competed" or whatever... that just doesn't make sense. Shy is just as popular now as monotone blue and orange tennis shoes.
 
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Bronson99

Bronson99

Well-known member
S_Spartan said:
Also I think that BlackPuma had a good point that it might be better for you to switch gears and get out of the bars/clubs and try to find a steady person to be with. Easier said than done, I know, but might be a good idea to simplify it all a bit.
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Dude, shy people hook-up all the time. Fact.

Why can't it be him (occasionally, every fifth weekend, or whatever)?

Instead of all of us trying to imply he can't have what he wants, why don't we instead give him pointers on how to achieve it? It's a realistic goal, IMHO, he just has a few stumbling blocks to work out.
 
S_Spartan

S_Spartan

Well-known member
Bronson99 said:
Dude, shy people hook-up all the time. Fact.

Why can't it be him (occasionally, every fifth weekend, or whatever)?

Instead of all of us trying to imply he can't have what he wants, why don't we instead give him pointers on how to achieve it? It's a realistic goal, IMHO, he just has a few stumbling blocks to work out.
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I'm not implying that he seeks a monogamous relationship but rather that he leaves the bar scene(which he admitted he doesn't like) and tries to find a single, re-occurring FWB type situation with a woman elsewhere. You know, try to simplify this all a little.

It just seems like he has so much riding on this bar/club scene now and maybe getting away from it for a while would help his perspective.

But really I wonder if this doesn't go a bit deeper than just sex and isn't also about acceptance because he said that he wouldn't necessarily want to participate in the orgies but would like to be invited and that he also feels "left out."
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Depression4life said:
The thing is I don't enjoy going to pubs & nightclubs especially but that's the only/most popular place to meet women so I go there to get laid tbh.
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Hmm... is it working? (the 'going to nightclubs and pubs to get laid)

A few points..
If you're just after the sex part, get an escort. You get what you want and you'll spare yourself and your 'woman' any embarrassment after the act is done.
It's a misconception that pubs and clubs are 'THE' place to get laid.
I found that health clubs and gyms were a great place to meet women.

Never, ever.. come across as a sleaze bag thats just looking 'for a bit'.
The best way to get regular sex is to find and meet someone with who you connect with and start a relationship. You may even find that special someone who you'll fall in love with.

When you're in love with someone and you have sex/make love with them.. that beats the hell outta a random hook-up any day.
 
sphericalmind

sphericalmind

Member
I'm in the same boat as you Depression4life. I'm on a long dry spell (tmi) and it can get really frustrating. I also go to the bars every so often and I haven't met anyone in a long time. I feel like I have to work on myself though so I at least know what most of my problem is. Just hang in there I guess and keep trying and meet new people. Maybe focus on hobbies or things you enjoy.
 
S_Spartan

S_Spartan

Well-known member
PugofCrydee said:
I found that health clubs and gyms were a great place to meet women.
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Not at the gym that I used to belong to. The women would put in their earbuds and stare straight ahead.

I would see the guys trying to hit on them and most of the time the girls would have a look on their faces like "hope he goes away soon."

But then, everyone was kinda stuck up there which is part of the reason that I quit.
 
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