Existential OCD

I really don't know what to do anymore.. I'm stuck in this endless spiral of existential thoughts because of my depersonalization and they are not going away. I had some weird thoughts a few months ago, but they went away after a week or two, this has been going on for a month now, and it really is making me suffer, I'm really afraid that the thoughts won't leave anymore and I'll just end up going crazy (because believe me, these thoughts twist your whole idea/view of existence).

I've been googling a lot for people with the same problem, there are plenty but not many positive ones.. I couldn't find anyone with this that has actually recovered, and whoever said that they were feeling better it was because of religion or whatever, and I don't believe in religion so yeah.. all I want is my normal life back, normal thoughts, a normal view of life, nothing weird, I'm so tired

Have you been in a psychologist or psychiatrist before? I think you should ask one of them, maybe start treatment...

I don't want to sound discouraging, but I don't think religion is going to help you. For some people it might be helpful, but that doesn't mean it will cure your problems or be helpful to you in any way. You should ask a doctor instead.

Hellhound said:

Have you been in a psychologist or psychiatrist before? I think you should ask one of them, maybe start treatment...

I don't want to sound discouraging, but I don't think religion is going to help you. For some people it might be helpful, but that doesn't mean it will cure your problems or be helpful to you in any way. You should ask a doctor instead.

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I'm actually glad that religion doesn't help me, I feel like that would be living a lie, but I also don't want to face the raw cruel reality, which is basically being aware that we have no idea of where all of this came from..

As for psychologists/psychiatrists, yes I've been on psychologists before, I'm still seeing one but she doesn't seem to help me that much. I'm seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow, but I feel like this is sort of the last step into the abyss, he'll probably tell me to take a bunch of meds that will make me feel even more numb than I already am, and probably more depressed as well. I just wanted to see if there was another way out except for pills and eternal dependency

Enialis227 said:

Read Albert Camus' "The Myth of Sisyphus".

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I'm not sure if this was the author I saw someone talking about the other day, but if it was it probably isn't the best read for me.. does he talk about existential angst, or does he talk about his view of existence?

Enialis227 said:

Read Albert Camus' "The Myth of Sisyphus".

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That's more absurdist than existentialist, and even then, only feeds into an obsessive craving when you see it in the light of Camus' other works and the works of Kafka.

DanFC said:

That's more absurdist than existentialist, and even then, only feeds into an obsessive craving when you see it in the light of Camus' other works and the works of Kafka.

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Yeah I knew there was something wrong with it, thanks

Excerpt from Tolstoy

http://www.dis.org/daver/anarchism/tolstoy/conf5.html

Enialis227 said:

Camus' goal in that particular essay was to offer an answer to Nihilism, which he thought was a misguided conclusion of existentialist thinking.
He starts from a position of a "meaningless" world, and works up to a way to justify an individual meaning of life.

The Myth of Sisyphus delivers shining ray of light in an almost completely black area of philosophical thinking, and it should put you at an ease with these types of thoughts.
At least, it did for me.




I'm not entirely sure what, exactly, you're trying to say here.

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Camus' philosophy does not offer a meaningful ray of light, it offers a ray of light to which you can add your own meaning to. When Sisyphus walks back down the slope, he chooses to, despite it being mandated by the gods, thus adding his meaning into a meaningless task/situation. Now we add Camus' thinking to Kafka's, who says in a very similar fashion that we are given the option of meaning when there is none, and we can arrive at the conclusion, if there are absolutes such Camus' "gods" or Kafka's authoritative mandate, that even though we can create meaning from meaninglessness, this meaning is itself meaningless.

Of course, I could just be interpreting Camus and Kafka wrong XD Let me know what you think.

Enialis227 said:

When I say ray of light, I mean that Camus' overall message is a positive one, rather than the a "dark" conclusion such that the ones Nihilism leads to.

The meanings that can be created by the "revolt" against the absurd conditions of human existence are somewhat meaningless, in the sense that they do not offer the universal or absolute answer that humans seem to want. This, however, does not de-value in any way the personal, individual power of meaning that can be gained by our own decision and actions when given the state of the human condition.

We as humans may not be able to arrive at the Truth, but you have to ask yourself whether or not that means anything when it comes to your decision to live.

I will re-frame from commenting on Kafka; I do not know enough about him.

Something I would like to point out; even though debate we are having seems to go against the OP's request, it is indeed proof that people can come to terms with these types of thoughts, rather than trying to ignore, or run from them.

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Here I think our conversation derails into two directions: meaning in meaninglessness and an answer to our meaninglessness, I think the two are different. I find the first sufficient. The inherent problem with the first though is not if there is or is not an absolute/truth (have your read Kuhn?), but rather if I should find my absurdist purpose palpable in light of the possibility (given an absolute) that the purpose is meaningless. But then again, like you said, is it necessary to know if such a purpose is palpable? Then we get into the controversy between necessary/sufficient. Philosophy is never-ending

And I am glad there's someone else who knows about this sort of thing. Sorry OP for hijacking your thread, kind of had to get all this out of my head.

DanFC said:

Here I think our conversation derails into two directions: meaning in meaninglessness and an answer to our meaninglessness, I think the two are different. I find the first sufficient. The inherent problem with the first though is not if there is or is not an absolute/truth (have your read Kuhn?), but rather if I should find my absurdist purpose palpable in light of the possibility (given an absolute) that the purpose is meaningless. But then again, like you said, is it necessary to know if such a purpose is palpable? Then we get into the controversy between necessary/sufficient. Philosophy is never-ending

And I am glad there's someone else who knows about this sort of thing. Sorry OP for hijacking your thread, kind of had to get all this out of my head.

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Oh it's ok, I mean, I wasn't really expecting much 'Help' as it is pretty impossible to directly help someone with these thoughts, I think it's something that ends up disappearing after a while..

I just read this after having a "moment" and it made me feel better about things.

So, I'm sitting here munching my Pei Wei Spicy Korean Beef over rice, when I hear our trainer (oy) once again bemoaning her existence and how unfair life is and why all this is happening 'to' her, and what is god trying to teach her, yada.

Now. Aside from having been done with her pity party months ago, I have determined something WRT Nihilism, and it is this: Nihilism (Existential Nihilism (Nihilism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia), cuz we're all about the definitions here) gets a bum rap. Besides Futility of Nihilism's excellent username (I love that pun), existential Nihilism is very freeing. Why do we look at it in such a negative light?

Without getting too meta or going down the postmodernist road, Existential Nihilism very simply put also means this: 'Life has whatever meaning you choose to give it.' There was no meaning to be gleaned from the lightning that hit the corner of your house. No god was telling you something when some idiot ran the red light at the corner and took out the parking meter. 'Bad people' (people who don't live the way you think they should) aren't getting ahead for some obscure reason that will all be leveled out after they die. Life has whatever meaning you choose to give it.

Does that mean there should be no morals? No. There will always be morality because we are human beings and that's the way humanity works. But isn't it a comforting idea to think 'I don't have to agonize over what that meant. Sometimes **** just happens and I'm on the receiving end. Time to get on with life.'

I swear that I am right there with you right now in my journey as well. There are times that I think that this illness will eventually rob me of my sanity. I remember the days before this noise in my head began and I would give anything to have that clarity back. Somedays I think "What the **** happend to me." I recently discovered that the religion that I was raised believing in is a pile of **** and christianity and the bible are myths as well. I came to the realization that we descended from monkeys and we exist because of evolution not god. Then I think of the people that I have loved and lost in this life. Where the hell are they if there is no afterlife. Where will I go when this is over. To nowhere? It is terrifying. So yes I have these thoughts that go through my head all day and it is exhausting. I liked life more when I was young and neive and believed in fairy tales of heaven and god and candycanes and lolipops One thing that has became so evident to me in the last few years is that ocd morphs and distorts normal thinking patterns. It is difficult to not let our obsessions and fears take over every last inch of our minds. It is a fight for sure and you are not alone!

Where do people go after death? I think I figured it out a bit.. the thing is, that this question is incorrect. This question shouldn´t exist at all. If they are not here anymore, it means we are not here either = this world is an illusion. I think a baby before conception, a baby in the womb, a person already alive (whether yound or old) and a dead person are all the same somehow. We´re all in the same situation, although in different stages.

Why do I say this? Because when I think of it, where do dead people go, it doesn´t make sense to me in any way. Only the above is what makes some sense to it.