Eye contact and movement issue!

Hi. I have this chronic eye movement problem that I've had for a long time now, and I don't know how it came about lets just say it did - an intrusive thought I guess!! Basically, I am conscious of virtually all movements my eyes make and this had made it difficult to process what I am looking at, and it's all become extremely laboured and very stressful! I am not seeing things that was I should be or the way I percieve I should.

I find immense difficulty trying to look someone in the eyes or face because I am conscious my eyes need to be moving left and right and so on, but as I am acutely aware of what my eyes are doing, they will no longer function as a result and this has completely screwed up my head. I have now started to wear dark sunglasses every time I leave the house, in an attempt to side step the issue.

Sadly for me, I now suffer with acute anxiety, depression and social phobia and all as a result of this problem which came about in my early teenage years, when I was watching tv and out of nowhere this rogue thought about what my eyes were 'doing' and how they were gathering information came into my conscious mind. Ever since then the problem has got progressively worse, until now at the age of 39, I am barely able to cope with life. It seems to have ruined everything. I can't make new friends, cant work. I am on disability benefit, and every time I go out I often feel intensely self conscious to the point that I feel everyone is looking at me and thinking what a jerk or a weirdo. They probably aren't, but this is deeply rooted in low self esteem!!

Was wondering if anyone out there could offer me some great advice as to how I could take some steps to overcome this horrendous issue of mine. If I can't overcome it soon I do not see a future ahead of me.

Yours

Richard

c'mon guys a reply would be appreciated

c'mon guys i need your help on this, please help if you can find it in your hearts to do so. I noticed that there are many replies to other posts but not mine and I can't understand why. I guess I have always been unpopular so it's no different when I post on here.

I think no one replied because most of them have problems like you, and they dont know how to overcome their problems either. I have eyes problem too and it is nearly as same as you. Its hard for me to look straight into one's eyes. But Im seeking for help from the school counsellor because I dont know how to help myself

Thanks for your reply and good luck with everything.

It sounds like you have two lazy eyes, from the way it was described & the way I took it. Have you ever been to a doctor about it? I think there might be lenses that can correct your problem. It's a miracle you've gone your whole life with this problem. That has to be hard.

Hi lyricalliaisons thanks for your input. It's not really a lazy eye problem, but more an overthinking issue. My eyes won't scan and move around automatically, not without conscious instruction. They used to work ok, that was up until the age of 18 or so and since then the problem has deteriorated. I've tried exposing myself to plenty of eye contact, but all this has done is reinforce the fact that eye contact is very difficult and laboured for me and choose what I do the problem will not go away, it's a complete curse and I really do think I would be a whole lot better off not having to put up with this pain and anguish anymore as life is no longer enjoyable to me anymore. I guess I'm just damn unlucky.

cobalt_bluester said:

Hi lyricalliaisons thanks for your input. It's not really a lazy eye problem, but more an overthinking issue. My eyes won't scan and move around automatically, not without conscious instruction. They used to work ok, that was up until the age of 18 or so and since then the problem has deteriorated. I've tried exposing myself to plenty of eye contact, but all this has done is reinforce the fact that eye contact is very difficult and laboured for me and choose what I do the problem will not go away, it's a complete curse and I really do think I would be a whole lot better off not having to put up with this pain and anguish anymore as life is no longer enjoyable to me anymore. I guess I'm just damn unlucky.

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There has to be a name for whatever it is & there's probably help for it, too.

I have trouble with eye contact at times when I feel uncomfortable around someone. I've developed some type of eye blinking facial twitching self-defense mechanism. I probably look really strange when doing it.

abeautifulmind said:

You must look like you are having a seizure, I suppose that's better than persistent gulping.

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If someones asks I just lie and say I had an accident and can't control the nerves in my face....hence the twitchage.

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Mr isolated said:

Cobalt that sounds a fair bit like me. But it only happens to me when there are people around -eg it doesn't happen if I'm watching tv by myself.
I don't know what the solution is. A lot of these things are hard to even try to explain to a doctor.
I also get sore eyes after being in a social situation for more than a few minutes.

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Hi Mr isolated. You're right, it certainly is very hard trying to explain this type of thing to a doctor and very embarassing too, as you just don't know how they will react as it's not something they hear everyday.

What it is with me is that because I am constantly analysing (or overthinking) the eye contact and movement process, it has become so stressful and laboured. It is not just simply being shy, it's a visual processing disorder that's the only way I can describe it. I guess my brain can catch up with what I'm seeing, and it's difficult to build a proper picture of the things I am looking at.

hey cobalt! i experience similar... is this what you mean?

say like you are talking to a person. you make eye contact but when your eyes are toward them your eyes aren't technically focused on their eyes. your eyes are focusing on your peripheral vision. you aren't literally moving your eyeballs in different directions to look elsewhere... it's just like a peripheral skimming that you can't control... the motion that happens might be a flutter?

is that it? because that is what happens to me. i think it is connected to "hypervigallance". my eyes are constantly doing it unless i am totally alone away from people. it's uncontrollable. i know it's noticable and makes me look suspicious. then i panic that people are pinning false suspicions to me like... "she is a liar... she is going to steal merchandise... she is a racist..." which snowballs the anxiety.

Could it be some form of OCD?

Could it be treated though the same types as treatments as OCD?

I don't know....

hi dottie. It's kind of like what you mentioned in that I look into one eye, but my peripheral vision is aware of the other eye at the same time. I get confused and very stressed by this as it's been happening for such a long time now.

I also find my eyes are unable to scan naturally like other peoples, and yes, it is due to a hypervigilance and problem. My eyes don't flutter though, I feel they become fixed and frozen almost and then I must consciously tell my eyes to move! It make me so tired, depressed and anxious and has gradually ground me down. I can't work, can't make friends and each day is a massive struggle just getting through it. I am now thinking what's the point of it all.

I really don't know how much more I can put up with this dottie, it's doing my head in. Well, thanks for your post it makes me realise that perhaps my problem is not unique afterall.

Zeyla said:

Could it be some form of OCD?

Could it be treated though the same types as treatments as OCD?

I don't know....

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My psychiatrist told me it's not really OCD, although I feel it is a form of it in that I feel the need to constantly look at myself ever time I pass the mirror in an attempt to fix this issue. Sadly, I have been unable to conquer it and it's making my life hell.

hi, does anyone else have similar issues. if so, i'd be interested in hearing about things from your side of the fence. thanks.