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Old 08-24-2016
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Originally Posted by Marc7 View Post
It could be that but it could also be my possible avpd? What do you mean "everyone is doing better than you are"?

Sorry for the late late reply.
In the sense that, if you're comparing yourself to others, then your self-esteem must be low, and therefore you'll always feel as though other people are doing better than you are (better jobs, better social and romantic lives, etc).

First make mental note of your current situation, what you're afraid of, what you can currently do, etc; then start working on each of those fields individually until you become more confident doing them.
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Old 08-30-2016
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In the sense that, if you're comparing yourself to others, then your self-esteem must be low, and therefore you'll always feel as though other people are doing better than you are (better jobs, better social and romantic lives, etc).

First make mental note of your current situation, what you're afraid of, what you can currently do, etc; then start working on each of those fields individually until you become more confident doing them.
Oh. It could be a symptom of avpd or it could simply be I have low self esteem?

Thanks but motivation is a big issue for me and it might interfere with that.
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Old 08-30-2016
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No


_______
So you never saw one girl like that before in your whole life?
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Old 08-30-2016
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Oh. It could be a symptom of avpd or it could simply be I have low self esteem?

Thanks but motivation is a big issue for me and it might interfere with that.
Could be both, I honestly don't know if you really have AVPD or if you're self-diagnosed.
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Old 08-30-2016
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So you never saw one girl like that before in your whole life?
Bruh, you are killin meh
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Old 09-01-2016
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Could be both, I honestly don't know if you really have AVPD or if you're self-diagnosed.
Yea, I think there is a strong possibility it's there but my doctor said it wouldn't effect my treatment if I was diagnosed or not (tmi I know). I think I self diagnosed myself.
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Old 09-01-2016
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Bruh, you are killin meh
Sorry, I'm just trying to keep conversation. Maybe I'm going about it the wrong way.
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Old 09-01-2016
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Sorry, I'm just trying to keep conversation. Maybe I'm going about it the wrong way.
Trust me, quite a few people struggle to keep a conversation with me lol. Im not a person that has a lot to say. Plus I get paranoid about the current topic because I worry that I might be making generalizations.
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Old 09-04-2016
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Trust me, quite a few people struggle to keep a conversation with me lol. Im not a person that has a lot to say. Plus I get paranoid about the current topic because I worry that I might be making generalizations.
I think you keep a conversation well. I think I can say a lot online but not in irl lol. I don't think your making generalizations.
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Old 12-28-2016
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I not so brilliant nor talented and not beautiful to compensate. I feel inferior in most situations.
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Old 12-30-2016
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My 2 cents.
Ive learnt that when I feel inferior to other people - yes its a bad feeling - but its a feeling that needs to not be ignored. A feeling that you need to break apart and discover what exactly it is about this person that is making you feel this way. As its not really about that person - but about yourself and seeing things that perhaps you would like in your own life that you do not have at the moment.

Its like at the start of this year 2016 and I was with my old school friend and we were walking in the summer sun and her being Italian with yellow - perfect tanning skin .. and me getting all sunburnt on my white skin.. I remember feeling not only about the skin but her social skills and confidence.. I remember feeling like I never wanted to be around her again.. then I got determined to want to have the best skin ever lol.. and improve my social skills somehow and my own confidence .. and its funny because just being with her on that day actually completely drove my own motivation to change those things in me for months and months.. I really worked on myself on those things- I juiced 3 times a day and looked after my skin till it to me and even others I was told was glowing.. and I read up on so many things on comunication skills and ebooks on the psychology of being charismatic and how most people just want to be listened too - and I worked on myself on how I wanted to see my best self and my identity - regardless of what anybody was thinking of me of that time.

Anyway- I was able to change myself really positively that I because someone I liked that the next time I saw that friend I didnt even feel inferior at all towards her - and its was so funny too.

I learnt that when we are jealous and feel these ways - its just us saying what we want in our own lives I guess. And that what ever you put your mind to- you can achieve - and that there are always answers.
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Old 12-30-2016
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I not so brilliant nor talented and not beautiful to compensate. I feel inferior in most situations.
Same... I'm kind of slow (idk it that is due to mental illness or not) and I don't think I look good but I feel inferior in special situations and to certain people. Do you feel inferior to people or certain situations?
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Old 12-30-2016
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My 2 cents.
Ive learnt that when I feel inferior to other people - yes its a bad feeling - but its a feeling that needs to not be ignored. A feeling that you need to break apart and discover what exactly it is about this person that is making you feel this way. As its not really about that person - but about yourself and seeing things that perhaps you would like in your own life that you do not have at the moment.

Its like at the start of this year 2016 and I was with my old school friend and we were walking in the summer sun and her being Italian with yellow - perfect tanning skin .. and me getting all sunburnt on my white skin.. I remember feeling not only about the skin but her social skills and confidence.. I remember feeling like I never wanted to be around her again.. then I got determined to want to have the best skin ever lol.. and improve my social skills somehow and my own confidence .. and its funny because just being with her on that day actually completely drove my own motivation to change those things in me for months and months.. I really worked on myself on those things- I juiced 3 times a day and looked after my skin till it to me and even others I was told was glowing.. and I read up on so many things on comunication skills and ebooks on the psychology of being charismatic and how most people just want to be listened too - and I worked on myself on how I wanted to see my best self and my identity - regardless of what anybody was thinking of me of that time.

Anyway- I was able to change myself really positively that I because someone I liked that the next time I saw that friend I didnt even feel inferior at all towards her - and its was so funny too.

I learnt that when we are jealous and feel these ways - its just us saying what we want in our own lives I guess. And that what ever you put your mind to- you can achieve - and that there are always answers.
I happy you improved yourself (this is not in a sarcastic tone).

I know it is jealously and I'm trying to not feel inferior to this person and other people but it is very hard to do. I guess I'm not doing enough but I don't have much motivation. How does someone gain a lot of motivation?
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Old 01-02-2017
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Fk feeling inferior.

I'm true to myself - most ppl can't even be that.
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Old 01-04-2017
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I happy you improved yourself (this is not in a sarcastic tone).

I know it is jealously and I'm trying to not feel inferior to this person and other people but it is very hard to do. I guess I'm not doing enough but I don't have much motivation. How does someone gain a lot of motivation?
I guess it takes just falling down and crying and not liking yourself for awhile and allowing yourself to do that and then later finding some sort of thing to motivate yourself to feel better. I think I get motivation from various people whether people I know or online people that have a persona that makes me feel comfortable and would like in myself and kinda use them as a guru as much as that sounds funny.

But yeah I do get what you experience and like today I'm just feeling completely in he dumps and wanting to hide and hate today as I went out with my bfs sister and felt inferior as she is very social and things and felt like I was no one you know - so I'm just allowing myself to feel those feelings and go through them- journaling if I have to etc just to write on here like u have done helps to because ur not alone.

It's okay to feel this way but finding some way through it or acknowledging it and trying to counteract it - come later I guess after a big downer when I'm around people I feel inferior to.
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Old 01-04-2017
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Hi Marc7,most people are better at somethings than at others.When feelings of insecurity enter my mind,which it does reguraly,I remind myself of the things I am good at.These things can be small ones or bigger ones.Its about getting myself out of my victim and insecure way of thinking.I actually have made a list of my strengths to memorise.Things like I donate money to nature charities,I can write poems etc.Strengths can simple things like Im good at making dumplings.Anything really that makes you feel better about yourself.

I try to not compare myself to others in the first place since anxious people tend to focus on the negative.When those thoughts come I think about other things.Anything from a song I like to what I want for dinner.
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Old 01-13-2017
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I guess it takes just falling down and crying and not liking yourself for awhile and allowing yourself to do that and then later finding some sort of thing to motivate yourself to feel better. I think I get motivation from various people whether people I know or online people that have a persona that makes me feel comfortable and would like in myself and kinda use them as a guru as much as that sounds funny.

But yeah I do get what you experience and like today I'm just feeling completely in he dumps and wanting to hide and hate today as I went out with my bfs sister and felt inferior as she is very social and things and felt like I was no one you know - so I'm just allowing myself to feel those feelings and go through them- journaling if I have to etc just to write on here like u have done helps to because ur not alone.

It's okay to feel this way but finding some way through it or acknowledging it and trying to counteract it - come later I guess after a big downer when I'm around people I feel inferior to.
So your saying I have to experience setbacks in order to motivate myself? Can you elaborate on how you use them as gurus?

So journaling here will help or outside of here? I don't feel inferior to people that are social but only when certain topics come up which is unpredictable.

I'm starting to use positive thinking to counteract it but I am skeptical because I tried before for six months and stopped.

Thank you for the advice.
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Old 01-14-2017
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Hi Marc7,most people are better at somethings than at others.When feelings of insecurity enter my mind,which it does reguraly,I remind myself of the things I am good at.These things can be small ones or bigger ones.Its about getting myself out of my victim and insecure way of thinking.I actually have made a list of my strengths to memorise.Things like I donate money to nature charities,I can write poems etc.Strengths can simple things like Im good at making dumplings.Anything really that makes you feel better about yourself.

I try to not compare myself to others in the first place since anxious people tend to focus on the negative.When those thoughts come I think about other things.Anything from a song I like to what I want for dinner.
But the problem is I think because they are better at something they are better than me. I feel what that person does every person should be able to do. Thank you for the advice. I started counteracting my thoughts of inferiority with positive thinking. Hopefully it works.
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