SocialPhobiaWorld.com  
     

Home Register FAQ Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
 
Go Back   SocialPhobiaWorld.com > Social Anxiety Disorder Forums > Social Anxiety Forum

Post New Thread Reply
 
Search this Thread
Old 04-21-2011  
Elite User
Deus_Ex_Lemur's Avatar
 

Default Re: Feeling of extreme sadness when I see a beautiful girl.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sial Axetder View Post
So, why... don't... you just go talk to her?

haha, oh.

Just talk to her. Is it worth a potential life time of feeling regret? Opposed to asking/talking and potentially being rejected - so you can move on.

Perhaps I should take my own advice sometimes.

Excuse me while I run through a wall and then go stare at a goat.
Then you'll be a man who stares at goats? Awesome.

But I should join you, because I would give the same advice and not take it myself. Then we could be the men who stares at goats. (I liked that movie).

"You may have a fresh start at any moment you choose for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down."---Mary Pickford.

"Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain." ---R.W Emerson

"I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky! Like a LEMUR defying the laws of gravity."---Queen
Deus_Ex_Lemur is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2011  
Banned (Account deleted)
Intermediate User
 

Default Re: Feeling of extreme sadness when I see a beautiful girl.

Beautiful girls make me sad because I can never talk to them and they scare meee
groovy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2011  
Amazing curves!
Elite User
Sial Axetder's Avatar
 

Default Re: Feeling of extreme sadness when I see a beautiful girl.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deus_Ex_Lemur View Post
Then you'll be a man who stares at goats? Awesome.

But I should join you, because I would give the same advice and not take it myself. Then we could be the men who stares at goats. (I liked that movie).
Sial Axetder is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2011  
Elite User
Newtype's Avatar
 

Default Re: Feeling of extreme sadness when I see a beautiful girl.

It's not like we're dumb. We know that we have to talk to them in order for something to happen, but we can't. We're blocked. On a skool trip once, a girl asked me why I never talk. I told her that it's because I only talk when I have something to say... and I never have anything to say. That's the truth. I have nothing to say to these girls.
Newtype is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2011  
Elite User
 

Default Re: Feeling of extreme sadness when I see a beautiful girl.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Newtype View Post
...I only talk when I have something to say... and I never have anything to say. That's the truth. I have nothing to say to these girls
Perhaps is due to nerves? (that is, SA)

Too much of anything is usually a bad thing (eg beauty). Too much beauty in women can "wreak havoc" with men's thoughts & emotions. That's why in some countries the women are "covered up".

I think a "beautiful" girl or woman could be
- physically: really good genes, hair/clothes/makeup/etc to "amplify" it to the Nth degree (eg to look like a "sex goddess")
- mentally: they may have (or appear to) achieved a higher state of consciousness than most (female & male), which is beautiful to behold

There'll be a few things going on, but one of the most troublesome i would say is frustration. Maybe by believing that "she" is the perfect girl (for you), might be setting yourself up for a fall. Try using the power of your imagaination. Since it "takes two to tango" see if you can imagine the possibility that although she may be perfect in YOUR eyes, what if you are NOT perfect (for her) in HER eyes?. And if that is the case (which is very possible), then your "perfect relationship" with her will never be.
theslowesthand is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2011  
Elite User
Sinar_Matahari's Avatar
 

Default Re: Feeling of extreme sadness when I see a beautiful girl.

Not extreme sadness, but it happens. I live in a city where all the women are beautiful.

"He dare not come in company for fear he should be misused, disgraced, overshoot himself in gesture or speech or be sick; he thinks every man observes him." Hippocrates

I have retained my Jedi powers!!!
Sinar_Matahari is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2011  
Super Moderator
Elite User
Remus's Avatar
 

Default Re: Feeling of extreme sadness when I see a beautiful girl.

Move here, we are all fugly XD

‘Nietzsche says there are two kinds of people in the world. People who are destined for greatness, like Walt Disney and Hitler and then there’s the rest of us. He called us, ‘the bungled and the botched.’ We get teased we sometimes get close to greatness, but we never get there. We’re the expendable masses. We get pushed in front of trains, take poison aspirin and get gunned down in Dairy Queens.’ The Fisher King
Remus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2011  
Elite User
Newtype's Avatar
 

Default Re: Feeling of extreme sadness when I see a beautiful girl.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thesmallestloser View Post
There'll be a few things going on, but one of the most troublesome i would say is frustration. Maybe by believing that "she" is the perfect girl (for you), might be setting yourself up for a fall. Try using the power of your imagaination. Since it "takes two to tango" see if you can imagine the possibility that although she may be perfect in YOUR eyes, what if you are NOT perfect (for her) in HER eyes?. And if that is the case (which is very possible), then your "perfect relationship" with her will never be.
I don't get it. If I start thinking like that, then I'll be single all my life. It's exactly the reason why I feel sad when I see them, because I think that I'm not good enough for them.
Newtype is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2011  
Advanced User
Mickery's Avatar
 

Default Re: Feeling of extreme sadness when I see a beautiful girl.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Newtype View Post
I don't get it. If I start thinking like that, then I'll be single all my life. It's exactly the reason why I feel sad when I see them, because I think that I'm not good enough for them.
SA can be intensely egocentric - and I don't mean that in an insulting way - so sometimes you need to really take a step back and consider your how self-centered your thoughts can be.

They just people. They probably want a partner of equal or greater attractiveness, but so does everybody. Doesn't mean it's the most important aspect of a partner, who are you to say that about them? Or that they must be perfect because of they way they look, or that attractive people couldn't possibly have any problems. It's actually pretty insulting, and you end up reducing them as a person to their looks. It's not fair on them, it's not fair on you and it's not realistic, either.

I'm not glossing over the benefits and trends that come with beauty, but you can't reduce their life to what your own beliefs either. And that goes for everything. "They don't want to talk to me, they won't like me, I'll sit over here." Why is it your place to tell somebody else what they'd want, or what they should think of you?

I'm being totally hypocritical, I've actually turned down people on the basis of what I just described. "I'm not good enough.". I didn't understand until I thought about it properly just how arrogant and selfish it is to tell somebody what they should want or think.

I'm still not able to counter it very well, but being able to recognize it is helpful.
Mickery is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2011  
Elite User
Newtype's Avatar
 

Default Re: Feeling of extreme sadness when I see a beautiful girl.

I never said that attractive people are perfect and that they have no problems of their own. I never thought like that once in my life. It's someone else who posted something similar to that in this thread.

I understand that beautiful girls are people just like me. And it's not because they are beautiful that I can't talk to them. I can't talk to less attractive girls either. Looks is not the reason. I only mentioned beautiful girls because they are the ones that I'm attracted to and would envision myself talking to them with the hope of building a relationship. If I see a girl that I'm not attracted to, then I don't feel sad because I would never want to be with her.

It is true though that I assume what they'll think of me before I even talk to them, but everyone does that. Even if I successfully manage to get over that, I don't know if it will solve my problem. Because of SA, I was locked in my house for 10 years. Now that my SA is almost gone and I'm finally doing things with my life, I don't know if I can be there for a girl and support her as much as she needs me to.

Socially, I'm 10 years behind everyone. If I talk to a girl, she'll probably like my personality, she'll probably like how I look. But perhaps looks and personality are the only two things that I have. The rest, I have nothing. I'm not a "functioning" individual. I don't have a car, I've never had a job. I've never went to a store all by myself. I'm 23 years old and I'm still in skool. I live with my parents. I just got nothing going for me. That's why I'm reluctant to talk to girls. I don't want them to know these things.
Newtype is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads to Feeling of extreme sadness when I see a beautiful girl.
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Sadness :( Falkor Social Anxiety Forum 6 12-04-2010 07:18 PM
Deep, lonely thoughts whenever I see a beautiful girl. Social_Monstrosity Social Anxiety Forum 84 11-25-2010 04:09 AM
head girl presentation - feeling like crap coriander1992 Social Anxiety UK 4 05-12-2009 09:18 PM
new girl old feeling Anonymous Social Anxiety Forum 6 07-01-2004 07:34 AM


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:17 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2