Feeling Sorry For Myself?

LovelyAmor

LovelyAmor

Well-known member
Have any of you ever felt like you have the potential to do anything you want in life but just WON'T do it? Have you felt like you were just lying around feeling sorry for yourselves instead of going out and taking action? Well I have.

Something else that I have noticed is that a lot of the extroverted types (Well I am a extrovert - im just afraid of showing my true self) say that shy people or people with SA/SP just don't 'try'. They don't put in any effort. They just don't want to face the world or their fears and they justify it by saying they have SA. I am starting to feel like that. I'm tired of it! Because I know deep down inside this is NOT who I am!

My past has done a lot of damage to me. My mom never taught me how to socialize properly and teased/picked (also mentally and emotionally abused) me WORSE than the kids at school. It was like I was going to from one hell to another, every day. But I feel like other people have been through worse, and they pushed through it. So why can't I? :confused:

Do you guys feel like you should just 'suck it up' and 'get over it' sometimes? A lot of people say that. I feel like I should sometimes..but it is SO hard..::(:
 
JamesSmith

JamesSmith

Well-known member
That's the problem with so many people, they think anxiety is just this "childish habit" that can be "overcome." Anxiety isn't a choice. None of us wake up in the morning and say, "Hmm, I want to be afraid of everything today. I want to have as much anxiety as possible." That would be ridiculous. As you can see, anxiety is something that we just have and is difficult to overcome.

I'm kind of against the "parents didn't teach me to socialize properly" argument. Most kids learn to socialize at pre-school and elementary school to start, and mom and dad ain't around for that. Most learning you do socially is from experience and instinct. The anxiety hampers your ability to learn and mature socially significantly if you have an anxiety disorder.

I'd say people that say we don't try have it flipped around. Anxiety is "trying too hard." What we need to do is make a habit of relaxing-not trying, not working. I hope this made sense, let me know if it didn't.
 
LovelyAmor

LovelyAmor

Well-known member
JamesSmith said:
That's the problem with so many people, they think anxiety is just this "childish habit" that can be "overcome." Anxiety isn't a choice. None of us wake up in the morning and say, "Hmm, I want to be afraid of everything today. I want to have as much anxiety as possible." That would be ridiculous. As you can see, anxiety is something that we just have and is difficult to overcome.

I'm kind of against the "parents didn't teach me to socialize properly" argument. Most kids learn to socialize at pre-school and elementary school to start, and mom and dad ain't around for that. Most learning you do socially is from experience and instinct. The anxiety hampers your ability to learn and mature socially significantly if you have an anxiety disorder.

I'd say people that say we don't try have it flipped around. Anxiety is "trying too hard." What we need to do is make a habit of relaxing-not trying, not working. I hope this made sense, let me know if it didn't.
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You're right. I really don't choose to be like this. Hmm that's interesting. I really thought that because my mom didn't instill enough confidence in me and shielded me so much that she made me like this. I was ok in pre-school but in the 4th grade is when it all went to hell, so maybe you are right. That's when I first started getting teased and tormented. It lasted until 8th grade. Once I got to high school, even though there was no more teasing, I had shut down completely.

I never thought about it like that...trying too hard? I am better at it now but I still have a really hard time relaxing. I feel like if I just learned to relax a bit in situations things would be a lot better for me.

Thanks for the advice!
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
LovelyAmor said:

Do you guys feel like you should just 'suck it up' and 'get over it' sometimes? A lot of people say that. I feel like I should sometimes..but it is SO hard..::(:[/COLOR]
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^ That's EXACTLY how I feel. It is hard, but sometimes I just force myself to do the things I'm afraid of. In the end though, I feel good about pushing myself. Now if only I could push myself all the time...
 
LovelyAmor

LovelyAmor

Well-known member
Phoenixx said:
Now if only I could push myself all the time...
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Sucks doesn't it? I praise and give myself a pat on the back after I have made accomplishments:D but I don't ALWAYS seize the opportunities infront of me. I don't understand why I do that.:confused: I guess I have to take it slow right?:rolleyes:

Thanks for the reply!
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
LovelyAmor said:
Sucks doesn't it? I praise and give myself a pat on the back after I have made accomplishments:D but I don't ALWAYS seize the opportunities infront of me. I don't understand why I do that.:confused: I guess I have to take it slow right?:rolleyes:

Thanks for the reply!
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I praise myself too. :) And taking it slow is better than not doing anything at all.
 
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