Originally Posted by Bustn Justin
When I interact wth people, they seem friendly, however I feel that they really hate me.
In the past I was an outcast in school and alot of the friends I have would be nice to me then use me or screw me over.
Now when I am around people I feel that they are not around me they will think I am a horrble person and only will only be around me becuase they feel forced too.
I also admit that I hate myself and don't deserve any happiness. The reason is that I fail at everything I do and too different to be aroundother guys or around women.
It is possible you are now suffering from paranoia as a result of your experiences in the past at school. You have conditioned yourself to see all people as similar to how your "friends" acted while you were growing up.
Your major problem is a lack of self-esteem and and lack of self-worth. You see yourself as unworthy of friendship from others and feel like you don't deserve happiness. I imagine when you make a mistake you are very hard on yourself and use this to feed the negativity within you so that you feel even worse.
I find it hard to believe you fail at everything you do, there are probably many things you are good at but do not give yourself credit for. One of them is being courageous - it takes courage to come onto an internet forum to reveal personal problems you are facing, knowing that your issues are open to critique from strangers.
My advice to you is this: stop being so critical of yourself and placing unrealistic demands and expectations on how you "should" act or do things. Learn to appreciate the beautiful things in life and try to discover what your passion is and what activities make you happy.
Nobody hates you. Step out of the prison you have created for yourself and start to live your life in a way that makes you happy.