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Old 01-07-2009  
no1
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Default feels like everyone is against me, or..

I know you've probably already heard this a thousand times already. I honestly do feel though that most or if not all people are really mean at least with me. I can go by a day thinking positively about my day and all, then one person, no, not jsut one, but many start to look and act the same way towards me. They all seem to hate me. Everyone. They hate me or they are always looking to mess with me, or to do harm even if they don't know it. It's just.. their character I guess. I don't know.. I feel like I'm always being tested, or looked at. I know I have some issues to deal with but come on, hardly anyone or nobody at all understands. I don't need people acting like everything is all mine and only my fault.

I guess.. some people can't seem to get past the fact that we can live in hard times. People CAN be victims, and they CAN be "stuck" beyond repair, at least in this "life". So people seem to like... demonize me because I have a problem. But nobody really knows my problem, and so it seems like they all just think my problems are nothing and can be solved in a jiffy if I would just "stop being a cry baby and bla bla bla, and be grateful, and accept that Im not the only one with problems and etc.etc.etc."
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Old 01-07-2009  
no1
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maybe people just like acting arrogant because it may make them seem "normal" and "superior". Or most people are just cold in smoe way. Maybe I am just sensitive.
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Old 01-07-2009  
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Default Re: feels like everyone is against me, or..

Quote:
Originally Posted by no1
I know you've probably already heard this a thousand times already. I honestly do feel though that most or if not all people are really mean at least with me. I can go by a day thinking positively about my day and all, then one person, no, not jsut one, but many start to look and act the same way towards me. They all seem to hate me. Everyone. They hate me or they are always looking to mess with me, or to do harm even if they don't know it. It's just.. their character I guess. I don't know.. I feel like I'm always being tested, or looked at. I know I have some issues to deal with but come on, hardly anyone or nobody at all understands. I don't need people acting like everything is all mine and only my fault.
I dont know you, so I only can give you some experiences I have.
Many people have a special ability to smell fears or weakness in others. So, even if you have these previous positive thoughts and feelings, They may know you and they feel the necessity to ignore or get annoyed someone in order to feel better themselves.
Many other people simple ignore others because they have their own problems.
Perhaps, it may be another possibility, our own character. Im not talking about you. Im talking about me, this time. I know I have a special tendency towards make errors with other people. I do this without conciousness, but I used to do it and I sometimes do it at the present.
8)

If you want things change, you should change yourself before!
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Old 01-07-2009  
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People dont smell fear, they see fear.
http://changingminds.org/techniques/...y_language.htm
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Old 01-07-2009  
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The fact is that, it seems like to me, we are acutely "aware" of things to an extreme degree. That obssessive awareness, when fed with a healthy dose of fear and imagination, can create pathways in our brain that make us truly believe we are experiencing these things; such as people always being against you.

If you then start to believe this part of your fearful over-imagination, then you actually create the neural pathways for that "feeling" to stay with you as long as you continue to feed it. But just like a muscle, if you don't use it, it will atrophe; whither away and die. The fear is the food for the imagination. If it doesn't get fed and is ignored, then slowly it fades.

Breaking the loop of fearful thoughts though is a challenge that is overwhelming. Because "what if" our imagination is true and we really aren't good enough? That is the false thought that keeps some of us from being able to dismiss the negative thoughts in favor of positive ones.

EDIT to add: Another way to think of anxiety problems is this: When we pump air into a balloon it inflates. The harder and faster the air is pumped into it, the quicker the balloon grows.

The balloon is our false, over-imagination. The fear is the air. If we keep pumping that fear into our imagination, then that thought and belief will continue to grow within us.

If we let go of the thought and stop believing it (feeding it with fear), then we will begin to let the air out of the balloon. Slowly but surely the imagination (false belief) will be all but completely deflated.
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Old 01-07-2009  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by powerfulthoughts
The fact is that, it seems like to me, we are acutely "aware" of things to an extreme degree. That obssessive awareness, when fed with a healthy dose of fear and imagination, can create pathways in our brain that make us truly believe we are experiencing these things; such as people always being against you.

If you then start to believe this part of your fearful over-imagination, then you actually create the neural pathways for that "feeling" to stay with you as long as you continue to feed it. But just like a muscle, if you don't use it, it will atrophe; whither away and die. The fear is the food for the imagination. If it doesn't get fed and is ignored, then slowly it fades.

Breaking the loop of fearful thoughts though is a challenge that is overwhelming. Because "what if" our imagination is true and we really aren't good enough? That is the false thought that keeps some of us from being able to dismiss the negative thoughts in favor os positive ones.
Indeed!
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Old 01-07-2009  
no1
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yea this does ring true.. thought it really can be hard to let it go since.. it seems to always be reaffirmed by "negative" behaviours or situations.
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Old 01-07-2009  
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Yeah, I've got experiences with this. Feels like you've got no one but yourself to survive in this cruel world. Though it's a well known fact that 99% of everyone around you don't care about what you do, it's still there. As for me I tend to focus on what looks people give me and if they speak in a condescending tone and sort of treats you like a child. I loathe when they do that.

Mostly it seems that the ones who actually look down on you don't understand the consequences and the scale of having SP, and how to deal with it. They just have the idea that if you put a smile on your face and act nice you'll become happy yourself. A very daft "solution".

I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.
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Old 01-08-2009  
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The problem here is that social anxiety (and other mental illnesses) is 'invisible', so to speak i.e. you can't see whether a person had a mental illness from the outside like you can see whether a person is blind or handicapped, for example. Means people can be very insensitive sometimes. Criticizing is a universal human trait. We just all do it, we love being judgemental. If you think you can go into the world without people judging or criticizing you, then you're wrong. But I still think half of it is due to SA related paranoia. We SA's are extra sensitive toward any sign of rejection. So, it's not that we get more criticized than other 'normal' people, it's just we notice it more often because we have a more keen eye for it.

You are not alone: I've been tripped over at school, called names, had cars running through pools of water splashing me, people honking horns, people shouting threats at me, you name it...last year some of my co-students at uni even stole my watch from my bag, set it back half an hour, so that I would be late for the lectures (think I'm that stupid!). I had another watch with me so that didn't work, ha.

Walk backwards into the future...
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Old 01-10-2009  
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I get the feeling that almost everyone is against me, all the time.

It feels like everyone else has someone to turn to, but i'm stuck on my own, and have to "fight my own corner"
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