Finally got a date with a girl and wont be able to go

shybutsexy

shybutsexy

Well-known member
In one of my classes my teacher assigned me to do a group work with this girl for the fall, we kinda got along, sort of, we didn't talk much, only about the work. The girl is extremely attractive, you could say she is "out of my league", by a lot..., she is also quite outgoing and not really shy, anyway when the last day of school was over i decided to tell her that i liked her and i wanted to go out with her, since i got nothing to lose, i was pretty sure she was going to say no, not only because she is significantly more attractive than me, but also because of my lack of personality, there were way too many awkward silences during our time working together, i could never make her laugh, only bore her to dead with my stupid uninteresting comments, she often left during the awkward silences to go and talk to some other guys who could actually make her laugh and maintain a conversation with her, something i just couldn't do.

However, against all odds and for some weird reason i still don't understand, she said yes..., and now i've gotten into this constant panic mode, i can't sleep, my anxiety is through the roof, i've been drinking alcohol the last 3 days in order to try to calm down. Its is impossible for me to go to this date, i can't picture a scenario where this date could go well, i can't maintain a conversation for longer than 2 minutes with anyone, i got nothing to talk about, and we can't talk about work anymore because the work is over, i could never really make her laugh and this date wont be any different. I've never ever been more nervous in my life, i'm even shaking right now, i can't stop thinking about the date. I can't believe i finally got a date and i'm going to have to cancel it because of my pathetic panic attacks.
 
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Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
If you're shy but sexy, you have nothing to worry about. Also, she's only out of your league if you convince yourself that she is.

One suggestion I'd give you is to go out with her as if you've already gone out with her a bunch of times and there's this certain level of comfort associated with the idea of going out with her.

If you cancel it, you'll regret it. Go out for a walk, have her talk about the things she likes and dislikes, and find common ground. Talk about TV shows, music, etc.
 
Marc7

Marc7

Well-known member
You should go out with her. You should be proud of yourself for asking her out on a date, I don't have the courage to ask a girl out that I like let alone talk to them. Just be yourself with her I guess. Try taking deep breathes before the date. As far as alcohol goes I don't think that helps your anxiety it just makes you more depressed.
 
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arjuna

arjuna

Well-known member
Regarding the anxiety, I doubt whether it will go quickly. You probably just have to force yourself through it and with time and effort, you could just see a reduction or even a complete dissapearance of it.
 
Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
Well good news is you've already spent a lot of time around each other. It wont be quite like y'all are meeting for the first time after talking online or something.
 
A

Acegame

Well-known member
The fact that she said yes means that she likes you. Thats what you should focus on! She could easily have said no (since it was the last day of school) but she said yes.

And i really think you should go. Because if you go you will see that it's not so bad as you are imagining it will be. Even in worst case scenario. And if you don't go you will always be afraid when you ask someone else for a date later in life. At least now you can experience what it is like and see that it will be much less scary than it is in your head. The leading up part will be very very stressfull, but i'm pretty sure that regardless of the outcome you'll feel better/less anxious afterwards.

And also i advise you to go on an active date so you won't feel the constant pressure of having to entertain her or talk to her. Or just a simple cup of coffee, which doesn't have to take that long. Dinner or spending the whole day together could be awkward if things don't work out. Make sure you can escape ;)

And just be ok with yourself. So what if you are shy, anxious or have panic attacks. The most important thing is that you are a nice guy (i don't know you but that's what i used to tell myself in these situations:p). And think about it as an experience. Like an investment in yourself. If you don't go, the next time will be just as hard. If you do go than maybe the next time will be easier (if things don't work out).
 
THeCARS1979

THeCARS1979

Well-known member
shybutsexy said:
In one of my classes my teacher assigned me to do a group work with this girl for the fall, we kinda got along, sort of, we didn't talk much, only about the work. The girl is extremely attractive, you could say she is "out of my league", by a lot..., she is also quite outgoing and not really shy, anyway when the last day of school was over i decided to tell her that i liked her and i wanted to go out with her, since i got nothing to lose, i was pretty sure she was going to say no, not only because she is significantly more attractive than me, but also because of my lack of personality, there were way too many awkward silences during our time working together, i could never make her laugh, only bore her to dead with my stupid uninteresting comments, she often left during the awkward silences to go and talk to some other guys who could actually make her laugh and maintain a conversation with her, something i just couldn't do.

However, against all odds and for some weird reason i still don't understand, she said yes..., and now i've gotten into this constant panic mode, i can't sleep, my anxiety is through the roof, i've been drinking alcohol the last 3 days in order to try to calm down. Its is impossible for me to go to this date, i can't picture a scenario where this date could go well, i can't maintain a conversation for longer than 2 minutes with anyone, i got nothing to talk about, and we can't talk about work anymore because the work is over, i could never really make her laugh and this date wont be any different. I've never ever been more nervous in my life, i'm even shaking right now, i can't stop thinking about the date. I can't believe i finally got a date and i'm going to have to cancel it because of my pathetic panic attacks.
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Were you ever able to go on the date with her? If not I think that you should go

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