For males who have high intamcy drive

Moses199

Well-known member
Hi guys, I'm doing some introspection on my past issue of never having a GF in my younger days (12-18yo) because of my SA. I have an extremely high intimacy drive which i obsessive over girls everyday. I'm trying to figure out if i were able to get 2-4 girlfriends in my younger days while having SA would i still want more today. For this reason, i have a few question for you you for you guy...

1. Do you have a high intimacy drive?

2. If you had many GFs during middle/high school while having SA, would you still want more GFs today while having SA or would that desire go away?

P.S. It's important if you can tell me if you have a high or regular level intimacy drive because some guys don't have any intimacy drive or are Asexual not desiring relationships like me.
 
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screename

Active member
Yeah I'm 18, no girlfriend yet. Actually I haven't talked to a girl my age since I dropped out of high school 2 years ago. I'm lonely as **** now. I regret it, so you could say I have a high intimacy drive. I just keep telling myself that I was born alone and I'll die alone, it sounds worse than it is. People come and go and if I find a girl who likes me that's great, if not so be it. Can't answer your second question, I was always a loner.
 

Moses199

Well-known member
You're making me nervous with all the questions. Are you with the CIA?

I'm asking this relationship questions because they last thread i made it gave me breakthrough making me overcame a large part of insecurity/anger problem of thinking girls don't like me because of my skin color. I have an extremly high intamcy drive in spectrum of constant obsession of girls. When i see an attractive girl in public i instantly get depressed then angery at them because i thought i would never get them because of my race. The last thread helped me realized it's not my race that's the problem. It's my social anxiety which is why i'm not in any relationship. Now i don't get angry when seeing girls in public, i still get depression but no anger or resentment at them.


If i haven't overcame this race & anger problem i probably would've did a mass shooting in the future if it kept getting stronger. The feeling that i will never get a girl because of my skin color made my despise girls of other races and hate them to the highest degree. I felt if they want me to live lonely and kill myself, then i will take them all with me. It's great to not have this belief anymore. I still get depressed when seeing girls cos of the thought i might never have gf if i never overcome my SA. This is why i'm continuing on making threads this topic so i can try to get past this remaining depression issue.
 

Moses199

Well-known member
Yeah I'm 18, no girlfriend yet. Actually I haven't talked to a girl my age since I dropped out of high school 2 years ago. I'm lonely as **** now. I regret it, so you could say I have a high intimacy drive. I just keep telling myself that I was born alone and I'll die alone, it sounds worse than it is. People come and go and if I find a girl who likes me that's great, if not so be it. Can't answer your second question, I was always a loner.
If you had many GFs during middle/high school while having SA, would you still want more GFs today while having SA or would that desire go away?
 

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
If i haven't overcame this race & anger problem i probably would've did a mass shooting in the future if it kept getting stronger. The feeling that i will never get a girl because of my skin color made my despise girls of other races and hate them to the highest degree. I felt if they want me to live lonely and kill myself, then i will take them all with me. It's great to not have this belief anymore. I still get depressed when seeing girls cos of the thought i might never have gf if i never overcome my SA. This is why i'm continuing on making threads this topic so i can try to get past this remaining depression issue.


Wow that's quite extreme, are you getting any help for these feelings?
 

Moses199

Well-known member
Wow that's quite extreme, are you getting any help for these feelings?
This forum helped me with my last thread it made me overcome this race belief problem that caused me anger http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/two-questions-for-good-looking-males-with-sa-62320/.

That's why i made more threads similar to the last thread to try to overcoem my depression problem. Eventhough i overcame the anger problem. I still get small levels of depression when seeing girls in public from the thought i might never be in a relationship cos of my social anxiety. I don't have the anger problem anymore just left with the depression problem. But i'm happy with what i have now and it's more manageable then the anger problem.
 

screename

Active member
If you had many GFs during middle/high school while having SA, would you still want more GFs today while having SA or would that desire go away?

I'm thinking it would but I can't be sure. And what you said about feeling anger resentment and depression when seeing an attractive girl, I get that too. I hate myself for it, they did nothing wrong. I instantly assume that she thinks shes better than me, never giving me a chance for something that might have come out of it. I wish I could go back and not have made those mistakes.
 

Megaten

Well-known member
Oh sorry man. To be honest I know how you feel. I pretty much given up on the idea of interracial dating and decided to just stick to my own. It's bad enough that SA causes a person to feel ugly but you start throwing racial tension in there and it turns into a mess. So yeah I got pretty angry and bitter, but that was because of self loathing.

My whole thing was that I'm a serious geek and I'm into a lot of things that I rarely find other black people into. I also listen to lot of rock which my family is convinced is devil music lol. So that's why felt drawn to trying to date anything but black people because I don't "feel" black if that even makes any sense.
 

SCP-087-1

Well-known member
I had a few girlfriends when I was in highschool. I had a high intimacy drive then and I still have a high intimacy drive now
 

S_Spartan

Well-known member
Why are we referring to it as an "intimacy drive"? that sounds like a term out of a women's magazine circa 1962.
 

Megaten

Well-known member
Why are we referring to it as an "intimacy drive"? that sounds like a term out of a women's magazine circa 1962.

I think he's looking for an actual steady gf as opposed to just having more sexual encounters. Not sure if that's what everyone else means by that though.
 

Moses199

Well-known member
I had a few girlfriends when I was in highschool. I had a high intimacy drive then and I still have a high intimacy drive now
Was your SA high or moderate at that time? I don't understand how some guys are able to get GF if they have SA. Did these girls made all the moves?

This is why i believe if i was a white guy i would've had atleast one gf because these racist slluts just see color.
 

Moses199

Well-known member
My old anger problems are returning of when i see attractive girls in public. I get angry at them because i know if i was white they would want to be with me. This anger problem is so severe that i fear i will end doing something violent things to these random girls i see in public.

Last week this thread helped me resolve this anger problem but now it is returning again after seeing fair skin girls being more comfortable and social to white guys but always quite around black guys. This make me think if i was white i would have some girlfriends even while having sever social anxiety as some white guys in this forum said they were able to get girlfriends while having social anxiety.

This feeling of loneliness makes me feel like killing myself and taking all fair skin girls with me for rejecting/ignoring me cos of my skin color. I get depressed, then the anger soon follows and i start saying mentally (in my head) bad/violent things to attractive girls in public who are strangers. I i just want fu*king choke these pigs to death or wish she they would all die for being a racist cows.

Last wee i got so angry that i flicked a girl off while i slowly road my bike pass her. She was like "what? why?". I wanted to say "create an online dating profile and let me message and you and we will see why b*tch" but couldn't say that cos of my SA, flicking her off was hard enough to do. Another time, i seen an an asian women with a white guy and yelled out "white cockk sucker!!". I always see asian women with white guys rarely any with black guys. This is why i f*cking hate fair skin race women (white/latin/asian) and wish they had a million mental disorder until they committed suicide or someone threw acid on their face making every guy think they're ugly so they know how it feels to not be get in a relationship.

Many people don't know this, but almost all fair skin race girls (white/latin/asian) favor white guys over black guys. There are many online/offline case studies & research conducted that prove this including many of my personal experiences.
The thought that if i was white i would've had more chances of getting gf even while having social anxiety really pisses me off and makes me hate the living hell out of white/latin/asian ****t women. I see more of them with white guys than black guys, especially asian women.
 
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Megaten

Well-known member
Whoa whoa easy...you cant say for sure a persons behavior is rooted in racism. You're going to destroy yourself thinking this way. I said I personally gave up on it because I have too many personal insecurities to continue to pursue that idea. But anyways, say a woman is quiet around you or other black people you see but comfortable around white people, she could just not know how to interact with you. Or feel they need to walk on eggshells around us out of fear of coming off racist. But until you have actual evidence, you're not doing yourself any favors thinking that way.

As for the self hate, keep in mind that quite a few guys here are white and have zero luck with women, it hasnt help them and I dont think you being different would change anything. Personally I think a guy can win a lot of people over if he's charismatic, confident, open and friendly. People with social anxiety tend to rub other people the wrong way whether they're male, female, white, black, asian whatever.

Personally I think you should work on expanding your social circle and working through anxiety and whatnot. Im not the best example of that with my meager roster of friends lol, but I know that knowing people can help people get ahead in life with MUCH less effort. Whether that be getting jobs or finding love.
 

Moses199

Well-known member
Whoa whoa easy...you cant say for sure a persons behavior is rooted in racism. You're going to destroy yourself thinking this way. I said I personally gave up on it because I have too many personal insecurities to continue to pursue that idea. But anyways, say a woman is quiet around you or other black people you see but comfortable around white people, she could just not know how to interact with you. Or feel they need to walk on eggshells around us out of fear of coming off racist. But until you have actual evidence, you're not doing yourself any favors thinking that way.

As for the self hate, keep in mind that quite a few guys here are white and have zero luck with women, it hasnt help them and I dont think you being different would change anything. Personally I think a guy can win a lot of people over if he's charismatic, confident, open and friendly. People with social anxiety tend to rub other people the wrong way whether they're male, female, white, black, asian whatever.

Personally I think you should work on expanding your social circle and working through anxiety and whatnot. Im not the best example of that with my meager roster of friends lol, but I know that knowing people can help people get ahead in life with MUCH less effort. Whether that be getting jobs or finding love.

Until i have evidence? bro i have plenty of evidence i seen with my own eyes to say majority of fair skin girls don't like black guys. I experience this so i'm not blowing this off of my azz. I even created two online dating profiles: one of a white and black guy of equal attractiveness. The white better responses than the black guy from white/latin/asian girls.

Also in the span of 24hrs today i seen about 4 asian girls with a white bf. And none with a black bf. Talk about a strong ratio. I used to be like you and never thought girls are racist until i started experimenting with dating. Also there plently of case study & reasearch done in speed dating that proved black guys didn't get picked.
 
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Megaten

Well-known member
Until i have evidence? bro i have plenty of evidence i seen with my own eyes to say majority of fair skin girls don't like black guys. I experience this so i'm not blowing this off of my azz. I even created two online dating profiles: one of a white and black guy of equal attractiveness. The white better responses than the black guy from white/latin/asian girls.

Also in the span of 24hrs today i seen about 4 asian girls with a white bf. And none with a black bf. Talk about a strong ratio. I used to be like you and never thought girls are racist until i started experimenting with dating. Also there plently of case study & reasearch done in speed dating that proved black guys didn't get picked.

I dont really know what to say to all that. Arent you kinda doing the same thing though? I could have sworn you said that you werent attracted to black women.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
My old anger problems are returning of when i see attractive girls in public. I get angry at them because i know if i was white they would want to be with me. This anger problem is so severe that i fear i will end doing something violent things to these random girls i see in public.

Last week this thread helped me resolve this anger problem but now it is returning again after seeing fair skin girls being more comfortable and social to white guys but always quite around black guys. This make me think if i was white i would have some girlfriends even while having sever social anxiety as some white guys in this forum said they were able to get girlfriends while having social anxiety.

This feeling of loneliness makes me feel like killing myself and taking all fair skin girls with me for rejecting/ignoring me cos of my skin color. I get depressed, then the anger soon follows and i start saying mentally (in my head) bad/violent things to attractive girls in public who are strangers. I i just want fu*king choke these pigs to death or wish she they would all die for being a racist cows.

Last wee i got so angry that i flicked a girl off while i slowly road my bike pass her. She was like "what? why?". I wanted to say "create an online dating profile and let me message and you and we will see why b*tch" but couldn't say that cos of my SA, flicking her off was hard enough to do. Another time, i seen an an asian women with a white guy and yelled out "white cockk sucker!!". I always see asian women with white guys rarely any with black guys. This is why i f*cking hate fair skin race women (white/latin/asian) and wish they had a million mental disorder until they committed suicide or someone threw acid on their face making every guy think they're ugly so they know how it feels to not be get in a relationship.

Many people don't know this, but almost all fair skin race girls (white/latin/asian) favor white guys over black guys. There are many online/offline case studies & research conducted that prove this including many of my personal experiences.
The thought that if i was white i would've had more chances of getting gf even while having social anxiety really pisses me off and makes me hate the living hell out of white/latin/asian ****t women. I see more of them with white guys than black guys, especially asian women.

1. Yes, there is definitely racism weighted against darker-skinned people in dating. On the whole. Not all women of any skin tone are like that. Not even most by every study I've ever read.

2. You complain of fair-skinned women being racist against dark-skinned men, yet you only speak about the pursuit of fair-skinned women yourself.

3. Doing harm to someone who has done you no harm is the act of a scumbag. Killing or maiming someone out of sexual frustration and enormous assumptions about what's going on in their head is the act of an infantile scumbag.

4. Your words here are on record and can be used against you in a court of law. Get a grip on yourself. Raging hormones are no excuse.
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
As for the self hate, keep in mind that quite a few guys here are white and have zero luck with women, it hasnt help them and I dont think you being different would change anything. Personally I think a guy can win a lot of people over if he's charismatic, confident, open and friendly. People with social anxiety tend to rub other people the wrong way whether they're male, female, white, black, asian whatever.

I think you make a great point, and Moses is skipping over this very obvious fact. By all accounts I am "white" and average looking, and obviously it is not a magic ticket for getting girls. They rarely ever approach me, and I can barely even make myself say hello. Online dating doesn't work, I mean I can get replies but it always leads nowhere.

While race may figure into it for some women, really the problem is that the game is rigged against guys with SA and/or autism. In either case (but even moreso with Asperger's/autism) a lack of social skills is going to show up, even online in pictures. Women will pick up on this. Lack of social fluency often translates to low confidence. A lack of confidence shows up in body language. Being a good looking guy but having a tense posture, or even poor fashion sense, are things that will often exclude you immediately. Now an unattractive guy who knows how to present himself in a photo, will usually do far better. More or less the same applies in real life.

You have a choice. You can either decide that your poor social ability is innate and that you are therefore "Forever Alone" no matter what, or you can believe that there are ways to improve and you can get to work on that. Don't you think the second choice is the better one?
 
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