Forgotten Birthdays/Spending them alone

Hey everyone, new member here. I know that the topic of birthdays have been discussed here before, but I wanted to see if anyone could shed light on my situation.

For starters, birthdays are special to me. I have my reasons why, to me they just are. Having stated that, birthdays in general have been a pretty disappointing experience for me. Don't get me wrong, I've had some good ones, but the ratio to bad ones is pretty lopsided.

I mostly have a circle of friends that I go through life with, but there have been times when they would celebrate others birthday and completely forget about mine. I don't bring attention to my birthday, because I don't want anyone to feel bad that they missed it (save face I suppose). Most of the time, I just end up doing things on mine own.

I guess I assume that most friends would remember something like this, but at the same time I know some people don't really care about birthdays. It's just hard to see some people's special day remembered while yours is just glossed over.

Do anyone of you go through this? Do you enjoy birthdays or do you want to forget them entirely?

Welcome to the forum UnderTheRadar! I don't tend to be as enthusiastic about birthdays, and prefer not having any attention brought my way. But back when I had a group of friends, we didn't do anything very much for each other's birthdays either. The only real exception was with my old best friend. I can understand how you feel though about being skipped over, it can make one wonder if people value you at all. My mother and sister feel the same as you though, so I make a point of doing something for them. I know how they feel if I don't. It's not so much about getting things, or having attention, it's just reassuring for them to know that they are valued and thought of at all. Maybe your friends don't know how much it means to you. I recall two old friends who had birthdays on the same day, every year most people forgot the one because he was the least vocal about it! I know I wasn't very vocal about it either and knew I could slink out of limelight that way. Just a thought.

My birthday was last week. I don't remember feeling any special on my prior birthdays, it was never special. A relative who I thought would remember did not, but even so I did not care so much about it because my birthday does not have a special meaning to me, but it's nice when people do remember. My birthday was just like any other day, but I did get myself a little piece of Pandan cake to eat after school, alone.

undertheradar said:

Hey everyone, new member here. I know that the topic of birthdays have been discussed here before, but I wanted to see if anyone could shed light on my situation.

For starters, birthdays are special to me. I have my reasons why, to me they just are. Having stated that, birthdays in general have been a pretty disappointing experience for me. Don't get me wrong, I've had some good ones, but the ratio to bad ones is pretty lopsided.

I mostly have a circle of friends that I go through life with, but there have been times when they would celebrate others birthday and completely forget about mine. I don't bring attention to my birthday, because I don't want anyone to feel bad that they missed it (save face I suppose). Most of the time, I just end up doing things on mine own.

I guess I assume that most friends would remember something like this, but at the same time I know some people don't really care about birthdays. It's just hard to see some people's special day remembered while yours is just glossed over.

Do anyone of you go through this? Do you enjoy birthdays or do you want to forget them entirely?

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Welcome!

I can understand how you feel being ignored when it's your birthday. To me, birthdays have special meanings and I'd like to celebrate it. One thing I learned is, if you want people to remember your birthday, you really have to remind them. Everyone has different circles of friends and that means many birthdays to remember. It's near impossible to remember all the birthdays when there are many other things to tend to. If you want your friends to celebrate birthday with you, a simple reminder would be enough. If they forget, don't take it internally. Instead, celebrate it either by yourself or with your loved ones. They are generally the people that don't ever forget it's your birthday.

For my recent birthday, I decided to celebrate alone as a gift for my new-found self-confidence. I didn't feel self-pity or wrongly ignored. I had a great time traveling alone and enjoying the sights, all by myself. There'a sense of self-assurance and self-reliant when you no longer feel sadness and pity for yourself. I hope you'll give it a try and give yourself something special on your next birthday.

Good luck and cheer up!