friendly people=me feeling crap

sidney

Well-known member
If you've already known someone for a while but get friendlier with them cus of a similar interest eg music or something, do you ever start to feel bad?
I feel like they'll soon discover who i really am, shy, quiet, easily embarassed then they'll be like "oh they're not the person i thought they were be disappointed and just not bother with me anymore
anyone else get that??
 

Foxglove

Well-known member
Back in the days when I used to at least try to act normal and lead some semblance of a normal life, there were a couple of people, mothers of one or two of my son's friends, whom I would socialize with from time to time. And every time I would compare myselves to these people and end up hating myself that much more because I always found myself to be inferior. What good is hanging out with people if you are gonna feel like dogshit later? So, as a defense mechanism, I stopped trying to be normal and stopped all social contacts I had with people. I'm miserable enough as it is without having to constantly feel like I'm not good enough :( .
 

Infected_Malignity

Well-known member
If you're talking about a fear of opening up, yeah. And it makes perfect sense, too because the more you open up and become honest with those around you, the more it's going to hurt if they happen to pull a 180. I guess you have to realize everybody's capable of it, and it should never stop you from getting comfortable with somebody you enjoy hanging around. I also realize that whenever I'm open to others, I'm really liked. Not that being liked/disliked by others matters to me so much, but I think it improves your confidence no matter who you are.

Alright, so task one is down. Now I just have to learn to quit hating myself! haha
 

recluse

Well-known member
I like to remain mysterious to people. My workmates are just aqquaintances. I too worry that they would be dissapointed finding out the real me. I can talk to my workmates fine but if they ask if i want to go out drinking with them i beging to feel all panicky, that's why i'm not looking forwards to the last day of work next Friday, everyone wants to go out drinking. I went last year but i felt like a dummy until i got drunk enough and everyone was dancing.
 

steviegerrard489

Well-known member
recluse said:
I like to remain mysterious to people. My workmates are just aqquaintances. I too worry that they would be dissapointed finding out the real me. I can talk to my workmates fine but if they ask if i want to go out drinking with them i beging to feel all panicky, that's why i'm not looking forwards to the last day of work next Friday, everyone wants to go out drinking. I went last year but i felt like a dummy until i got drunk enough and everyone was dancing.

Same as me. I'm constantly looking out for myself to make sure people don't learn the truth about the real me! It's a nightmare, every Friday it's: "What are you doing at the weekend?". Every Monday it's: "What did you get up to at the weekend".

I work with one girl who is quite shy and she always asks me this even though I rarely say I'm doing anything interesting! It pi$$ed me off to the point that I avoid talking to her on Mondays and Fridays!!

To be honest she's a bit on the ugly side and I'm also aware that she is Gay. However, some people have said we should 'get together'. I'm annoyed that some people are saying this behind our backs. What planet are they on?!
 

The_9th_passenger

Well-known member
I do my best to appear like i have no problem so that people won't spot it and be so aware of it... but is all in vain! They always see i have problems and there's always someone who tries to "help" me... which makes me feel so miserable!
There is also people who treat me bad cause i'm so introverted, but i see them as stupid cowards so they can't really hurt me much, as i can even laugh back at them sometimes, having taken concience of their stupid and inmature behaviour.

Nowadays i feel like there's nothing i can do to avoid being put "the shy label" on me... I wonder if people need someone to be shy/inferior so that they consequently feel superior, cause then they feel better with their not-so-fine self-steem.

Anyway, i don't understand what's the point in treating someone like he/she is inferior or in discriminating shy people.
 

recluse

Well-known member
The_9th_passenger said:
I do my best to appear like i have no problem so that people won't spot it and be so aware of it... but is all in vain! They always see i have problems and there's always someone who tries to "help" me... which makes me feel so miserable!
There is also people who treat me bad cause i'm so introverted, but i see them as stupid cowards so they can't really hurt me much, as i can even laugh back at them sometimes, having taken concience of their stupid and inmature behaviour.

Nowadays i feel like there's nothing i can do to avoid being put "the shy label" on me... I wonder if people need someone to be shy/inferior so that they consequently feel superior, cause then they feel better with their not-so-fine self-steem.

Anyway, i don't understand what's the point in treating someone like he/she is inferior or in discriminating shy people.

Shy and introverted people are always victimized, it's always the ''weak'' ones who will not answer back who get the shit. When i was in college i was constantly teased and insulted, anyway one day i asked ''why is always me that gets the shit?'' and one of the girls in my group said ''because you're quiet''.......Right so that makes it fucking ok to disrespect people because they are quiet!?
 

aj

Well-known member
recluse said:
Right so that makes it fucking ok to disrespect people because they are quiet!?
Sadly it's how some people think; exactly the same as bullies in the playground. Quiet people are easy to pick on for exactly that reason, they are quiet and won't fight back :(
 
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