D@rwin_dude

Hi all, I'm making this thread out of curiosity. We all seem to struggle with similar things from what I've read; working, shopping, meeting people, talking to people, going out in public etc. So I have a few questions about people's lifestyles and life situations in general.

My aim in making this thread is just to get an idea of how people deal with the aspects and issues that arise as a result of the way we feel about the above situations and to (hopefully) provide some tips or strategies for others who have similar difficulties and don't know what to do about it.

Questions:

1. What is your home environment/living situation? Do you live alone? How much rent do you pay?

2. We all have expenses and from my experience SA makes it sooo hard to work, how do you guys (and girls) support yourselves? What kind of job do you have and how do you find it? Anyone on money from centrelink? How much do you get if you are?

3. Do you do your own grocery shopping? How do you manage it?

4. What kind of diet do you have? Do you eat a lot of takeaway and 'drive-thru' meals?

5. Do you take/get much exercise? Even if it's just a run by yourself or a few push ups and sit-ups. Do you play any sport? Would you if you felt ok about it?

6. Have you made ANY improvements? If so how long did they last?

Anyway ppl I hope I get some responses and don't come off as too nosey. I will answer my own questions in another post to give you some idea of my situation and how I deal with things. I'm genuinely interested in your responses so plz get back to me.

Thanks.

D@rwin_dude

Ok now to answer my own questions (lol)

1. I live in an apartment owned by my parents with my brother. I used to live at home with my Dad and brother and things were going great. I now pay $100 a week rent to them and I have to pay for internet, cable tv, electricity and food.

2. I used to work in a bakery with my brother. He was the boss of the section I worked in and there was one other guy who never says anything to anyone. It was a very good working environment for me. I then gave driving a delivery truck for the same bakery a go and it was pretty good (great pay) for about 4 months. I wanted to go back to working with my brother but the boss was pissed off because I slept in on my last shift. Now I'm unemployed and have a bit of savings I'm living off :s

3. As part of my living arrangements my brother used to do the shopping (he has the bigger room with ensuite) but lately I've been doing it myself. I basically force myself into the situation and make a list of things to get (otherwise I would never remember) and now they have thos self-service checkouts so you really don't have to interact with anyone!! lol.

4. I used to have a shocking diet. Lots of lollies, chocolate, junk food, a pie for lunch everyday and yes red rooster, maccas, hungry jacks and other take away (mainly drive through) for dinner. For the past week I've been eating healthy (part of the reason I'm doing my own shopping) Fruit for breakfast, salad and ham, tuna sandwiches for lunch. Some kind of meat a veg at night. Nut bars and fruit for snacks.

5. Yes I exercise daily. I go for runs through this nature reserve about 5 mins from my house, there's hardly anyone there and it goes through scrub. I think it's really good for me and its nice to be in nature. For the past week I've been doing push-ups and crunches everyday (going for the healthy body = healthy mind approach a bit). I used to play (am still hoping to play) soccer and touch footy. Things got really bad a few months ago and I stopped going...now I want to go again but I don't know how to explain to my team-mates where I've been and I worry I'll feel really awkward/uncomfortable each game :s (it really sucks because I love sport and I'm good at it)

6. I might be different from most in that I've made great improvements many times. In fact my biggest problem is what might be called relapse. I've gotten myself to the point where I go all kinds of places weekly (sport, work, friends places and play poker, even clubbing a few times) and maintain it for months. Then I crash and crash hard and end up basically being unable to leave the house. I've gone from the freedom to recluse over 50 times maybe even 100. I can give you guys some explanation of the things I've used to get improvements if you're interested and you might find it lasts for you.

Right now my situation is - no job but with a bit of savings. I had a great 5 months this year, had more savings in my bank than ever and worked from January through to June. I was going to sport every week, playing poker weekly with a group of mates, feeling pretty happy with my life and had a good amount of freedom. In June things crashed and I stopped going basically anywhere.

My parents want me to go down to Sydney to see a guy for some CBT. I haven't been to my usual sport scenes in ages but want to get back into it. I've been making a genuine effort to do things regardless of my feelings and eat + be physically healthy for 2 weeks. I've tasted a better life and really hope I can get there again and get it to stay that way.

I look forward to (hopefully hearing some replies!!)

Peace all.

DD.

Off The Wall

1. What is your home environment/living situation? Do you live alone? How much rent do you pay?

- I live with my mum and her boyfriend (who i dislike alot) and my brother - i feel extremely alone he has a life he goes out all the time. Whenever i say i wanna go somewhere he is like with who? you have no friends... internet friends don't count. I feel like such a loser my little brother telling me i have no life. It's true though. I don't pay rent i have no idea how i've gotten away with it for so long coming up to 4yrs now..

2. We all have expenses and from my experience SA makes it sooo hard to work, how do you guys (and girls) support yourselves? What kind of job do you have and how do you find it? Anyone on money from centrelink? How much do you get if you are?

- I did work when i was younger so i have a bit of money saved up from that otherwise i'd have none.

3. Do you do your own grocery shopping? How do you manage it?

- my mum does the shopping, i sometimes go and get a few things and it's insane waiting in the line with a basket of food not being able to run away and feeling like i'm going to faint anytime now...

4. What kind of diet do you have? Do you eat a lot of takeaway and 'drive-thru' meals?

- i've always ate pretty well, trying to be a bit more healthy nower days though since i do nothing else, i've just been putting on weight and that makes me ever more depressed then what i already am so, i mean i eat take-away still just try not to do it tooo often.

5. Do you take/get much exercise? Even if it's just a run by yourself or a few push ups and sit-ups. Do you play any sport? Would you if you felt ok about it?

- Not really, walking for like 20mins was about all i did. I started skipping this week cause i can do it at home but i get bad shin splints from it.. so that's ended. I want to take up swimming cause thats pretty relaxing. hopefully soon. any takers?? lol

6. Have you made ANY improvements? If so how long did they last?

Umm, well i use to not be able to even leave my house so yes, i've made a big change (from doing CBT) I still avoid almost everything i possibly can but i can go out without getting really bad panic attacks.. I still get anxiety everytime i go out though. About the only big change is yeah being able to leave my house thankfully.

Jake123

1. What is your home environment/living situation? Do you live alone? How much rent do you pay?

I live with my parents

2. We all have expenses and from my experience SA makes it sooo hard to work, how do you guys (and girls) support yourselves? What kind of job do you have and how do you find it? Anyone on money from centrelink? How much do you get if you are?

I don't have a job, never have and never can. My parents don't work either, we all live off of my social security disability check.

3. Do you do your own grocery shopping? How do you manage it?

No, my parents buy everything, though the groceries aren't really for me

4. What kind of diet do you have? Do you eat a lot of takeaway and 'drive-thru' meals?

I don't really eat. I'm a strict vegetarian and I dislike food in general, so I only eat random things in my house that I find lying around that I can tolerate

5. Do you take/get much exercise? Even if it's just a run by yourself or a few push ups and sit-ups. Do you play any sport? Would you if you felt ok about it?

I do exercise by myself, but I can't stand doing it around anyone. Once a single person is around I just lose all my motivation and stamina and enter into a state of anxiety, so gyms and sports are out of the question

6. Have you made ANY improvements? If so how long did they last?

I make improvements all the time but they just come tumbling back down like it never happened

PennyLane

1. What is your home environment/living situation? Do you live alone? How much rent do you pay?

I live with 4 other people in an apartment, not family or anything. I pay rent and we split the bills

2. We all have expenses and from my experience SA makes it sooo hard to work, how do you guys (and girls) support yourselves? What kind of job do you have and how do you find it? Anyone on money from centrelink? How much do you get if you are?

Im at uni so i live off money from part time jobs during uni and full time jobs in the holidays

3. Do you do your own grocery shopping? How do you manage it?

Yes i do my own shopping.

4. What kind of diet do you have? Do you eat a lot of takeaway and 'drive-thru' meals?

i try to be healthy but im a student so cheap wins over. I dont like fast food.

5. Do you take/get much exercise? Even if it's just a run by yourself or a few push ups and sit-ups. Do you play any sport? Would you if you felt ok about it?

I run quite a lot and do sit ups at night. When i go home I do yoga classes, which i love.

6. Have you made ANY improvements? If so how long did they last?

Not really...i find as i get older and still have no friends it reaffirms my belief that im not good enough and so i withdraw further to reduce the rejection.

I don't know how to put this... but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany. - Ron Burgundy

blue-roses

1. What is your home environment/living situation? Do you live alone? How much rent do you pay?
I live with my parents on weekends, and in a residential college during the week (Tuesday-Friday this semester; no Monday classes! )

2. We all have expenses and from my experience SA makes it sooo hard to work, how do you guys (and girls) support yourselves? What kind of job do you have and how do you find it? Anyone on money from centrelink? How much do you get if you are?
Parentals! And I'm planning on using my scholarship money (only $2000/year ) to pay for the therapy I'm hoping to start soon....

3. Do you do your own grocery shopping? How do you manage it?
Yes. I don't mind it, but I don't like going to the checkout where this one girl serves, EVERY week, no matter what time of day I go in. The thought of being a "regular" (like the person who goes into the coffee shop and asks for "the usual") just scares me....cos, I dunno, I think I buy weird things, and it's so obvious from my purchases that I'm a student (think two-minute noodles, lots of tinned food, the cheapest brands, etc.). And then she's there, obviously with a steady job, probably pays for her own stuff...I just feel like a loser. I also hate having to tramp back through the uni with armloads of shopping. I don't have my licence yet so I have to tram it and then walk about 1.5km around the whole campus back to college. With those green bags, with bread and stuff sticking out. And people stare.

4. What kind of diet do you have? Do you eat a lot of takeaway and 'drive-thru' meals?
Despite what I said about "student food" in the last question, I try to eat well considering I'm away from home...I love vegetables and I cook myself a big bowl of greens several times a week (trying to ward off cancer, lol). I also eat a lot of almonds and wholemeal bread. My parents are paying for my food so I feel bad if I spend money on junk food, so bread, the cheapest fruit and veg, and almonds (which aren't that cheap) are my staples when I'm at college.

5. Do you take/get much exercise? Even if it's just a run by yourself or a few push ups and sit-ups. Do you play any sport? Would you if you felt ok about it?
I got a membership for the uni sports centre and went swimming twice a week for two weeks, haha. I didn't want to leave my room without make-up, though, so I was swimming with eyeliner and mascara...no...not what you think, haha...I kept my head above the water but people WERE giving me funny looks. Seriously, who swims with eye make-up? Also, I can't swim very well anyway and I just felt like I was hogging the lane that someone who could actually swim properly could be using...

6. Have you made ANY improvements? If so how long did they last?
I've applied for two jobs in the past week...both fairly high-stress and one a customer service position...and the psychologist at uni has been giving me challenges to do (which I've described in another thread somewhere) where I have to make a pointless - and sometimes silly - phone call each day. I'm also surprisingly good at public speaking, considering the SA. I used to be dreadful in high school but since I've started uni people tell me I look really pro - even though I can feel my heart pounding and my voice shaking, I don't have to read off my cue cards and I know how to alter my pitch and everything to try and engage the audience. But the difference between public speaking and socialisation is that you're FORCED to do public speaking at uni (I don't want to fail here!) and you're also allowed lots of time to rehearse and don't have to worry about someone else saying something you hadn't prepared for...

I know I probably seem a lot better off than most people on this forum, in that I'm managing (just!) to stay at uni and everything, and I almost feel like I shouldn't be here, but even though I cope okay sometimes, I'm constantly under stress, my personal relationships just keep deteriorating, and when I'm alone (most of the time now) I really feel like I'm going insane.

Why you're not crippled, you just have a little defect — hardly noticeable, even! When people have some slight disadvantage like that, they cultivate other things to make up for it — develop charm — and vivacity — and — charm!

Want an axe to break the ice
Wanna come down right now...

this_portrait

1. What is your home environment/living situation? Do you live alone? How much rent do you pay?
Half of the time, I live at home with my parents. The rest of the time, I live on campus with a roommate. I don't pay any rent.

2. We all have expenses and from my experience SA makes it sooo hard to work, how do you guys (and girls) support yourselves? What kind of job do you have and how do you find it? Anyone on money from centrelink? How much do you get if you are?
The only 'job' I have is being a full-time student. I can't seem to find a part-time work-study job, and I doubt I'd be able to balance it out with my classes and extracurricular work as well. So I think I'm just going to wait until summer time to see if I can get a part-time job while I'm at home, to help pay some of my loans/tuition off.

3. Do you do your own grocery shopping? How do you manage it?
Here, I do my own shopping all by myself. I have no clue how I manage it. Back at home, I go shopping with my mom at around 3 in the morning, which is easier.

4. What kind of diet do you have? Do you eat a lot of takeaway and 'drive-thru' meals?
Here at school, I buy my own food and eat from the campus dining halls. I don't spend too much money on fast food and takeout, because it's expensive. Back at home, however, I tend to live off of fast food.

5. Do you take/get much exercise? Even if it's just a run by yourself or a few push ups and sit-ups. Do you play any sport? Would you if you felt ok about it?
I don't exercise much, unfortunately. I can't seem to keep up the routine of it. I guess walking everywhere is my 'exercise'.

6. Have you made ANY improvements? If so how long did they last?
Improvements with SA, you mean? I guess I've made a few improvements. I don't seem to have as hard of a time talking to people as I did a few months ago. The only issue I have is with finding a date. =/

"Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive, and not after he is dead."

TheLonelyArabian

It’s different here in Jordan. Most of us don’t(can’t!) leave our parents house not until we get our degrees and start working…so, I’d say the norm here(to live on your own)would be mid/late twenties.
Now the reason for that is :
1-education is unbelievably expensive
2-part time jobs are scarce and if they do exist then the pay is inhumanly pathetic
so I’m 21 and living with my parents ^______^

4- I eat healthy so I can treat myself some delicious fast food every once in a while
5- I run about an hour daily, hit the gym every other day

Mack_Berserk

Interesting questions.

1. What is your home environment/living situation? Do you live alone? How much rent do you pay?
I live with roommates who are family of my best friend(only friend really) in Dallas, TX. I was originally here for a job op, but that fell through. I pay $600 in rent, including utilities and such. Bills are roughly 1,300 a month with car payment, insurance, food, and gas.

2. We all have expenses and from my experience SA makes it sooo hard to work, how do you guys (and girls) support yourselves? What kind of job do you have and how do you find it? Anyone on money from centrelink? How much do you get if you are?
After getting laid off, I decided that it was time for exposure... as much as I didn't want to. I went to work as a Host at Chilis (restaurant) for a time. It was terrifying. To be honest, all other interviews had failed in previous attempts at other jobs - Didn't have much of a choice.

3. Do you do your own grocery shopping? How do you manage it?
I do. I generally try to go once a week and get the bare necessities, which is hard.

4. What kind of diet do you have? Do you eat a lot of takeaway and 'drive-thru' meals?
My diet used to be consistant and set (i.e. eggs and toast for breakfast, turkey sandwich for lunch, spagetti for dinner), but certain factors have changed that. It's pretty random now. I can't afford takeout and eating out - And for that I'm glad considering my health.

5. Do you take/get much exercise? Even if it's just a run by yourself or a few push ups and sit-ups. Do you play any sport? Would you if you felt ok about it?
I used to work out every single day without fail to relieve stress. I have a small body type though, and it's difficult for me to put on weight (which is nice) and gain muscle (not so nice), even with tons of protein. I stopped working out recently... Increased depression...

6. Have you made ANY improvements? If so how long did they last?

Working out and working at Chilis (restaurant) definitely helped numb that fear of 'being around people', but I still can't talk to anyone and be 'social', or show emotion, or have character/attitude.

InDeepshit

1. What is your home environment/living situation? Do you live alone? How much rent do you pay?
I'm living at home with parents and siblings, they pay for most of the living expenses.

2. We all have expenses and from my experience SA makes it sooo hard to work, how do you guys (and girls) support yourselves? What kind of job do you have and how do you find it? Anyone on money from centrelink? How much do you get if you are?
i'm working as a nurse but i found an area in which it's not very stressful socially to work in , and i've totally abandoned progressing in my career. I thought contact with people at work all the time would help me improve but i've been put in situations i can't deal with and had shift long panic attacks. I realise it was a good choice because i'm forced to be social and now i have these work contacts other than just family.

3. Do you do your own grocery shopping? How do you manage it?
no problem with going grocery shopping

4. What kind of diet do you have? Do you eat a lot of takeaway and 'drive-thru' meals?
i've been eating a lot of junk lately for lunch whenever i go out driving or i'm at work. Otherwise just homecooked meals.

5. Do you take/get much exercise? Even if it's just a run by yourself or a few push ups and sit-ups. Do you play any sport? Would you if you felt ok about it?
I don't exercise at all anymore, work keeps me a little fit. I'm very unmotivated to. I wouldn't join a sports club because of the stress of being part of a group.
6. Have you made ANY improvements? If so how long did they last
I've concentrated on my appearance, tried a gym for a while. quit the gym... and i've made no improvements since then which was a couple of months ago... i don't have any hobbies really nothing is very enjoyable.. and although i try to get out more when i talk to strangers like.. shop assistants i respond straight to the point because i've no idea how to carry on a conversation.