getting a girlfriend with SA?

don21

Member
Is it even possible to get a girlfriend whilst having social anxiety? Seems like any girl of quality is going to expect the guy to take the lead and dominate. Impossible.
 

dannyboy65

Well-known member
Is it even possible to get a girlfriend whilst having social anxiety? Seems like any girl of quality is going to expect the guy to take the lead and dominate. Impossible.

Believe me it's possible. I have autism and it has similar traits to SAD. I met a girl 4 years ago who also has autism. I asked her on a date recently and we are going on our fourth. You can't force a girl to like you all you have to do is be patient and not rush anything, it took me four years to get a date. I think it's very possible you can just don't give up, hell even find someone like you like I did. It's hard to find someone with similaraties but me and my date use autism as a common ground. Good luck.
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
It's definitely possible, depending on your relationship with yourself and with your anxiety. If you want to get a girlfriend to 'use' as a crutch in order to lessen the anxiety, it's probably not going to end well. But if you get a girlfriend because despite your SA you are relatively confident and emotionally independent, it's just a matter of getting past the initial shyness and anxiety.
 
I must not be a quality girl then because my boyfriend has social anxiety.

;)

Then, so do I, but I don't think having an anxiety issue makes someone low quality.

Of course it happens. I understand why you ask that and I'm not going to use any trite phrases like "You just have to be yourself." I don't think there are any easy solutions. Sometimes it can sort of just happen because you've known someone for a while or something, and sometimes you may need to improve yourself first (perhaps through therapy or similar).
 

RegalSin

Well-known member
It is like eating a meal. Just enjoy it as much as possible and then move on to the next meal. I mean if she means so much to you. Then wait and realize if you really want her. Otherwise realize there might be a bunch of clones all over the place. Is that is what you want to hear???
 
^firstly I agree with what onlyhuman said about "lead and dominate".

And not every girl wants the guy to "lead and dominate". Some girls are actually put off by a guy who "leads and dominates" all the time in the relationship.

There are many girls out there who also suffer from SA that would not mind being with a guy who has an understanding of what life is like with it.
Although if you mean by "of quality" a girl who does not suffer from SA then that would sadly cancel out a few opportunities for you.
 

Megaten

Well-known member
No its not impossible. I think you might have been misled as to what other guys are doing though.
 

Louco

Well-known member
Define "of quality".

Yeah, your definition is actually what matters.

If you are talking about appearance, there are all kinds of beautiful women out there, it's only impossible if you never show interest in them.

Of course, If you are not a charming, independent man, with your own life, place and car, you are not top quality material yourself in that regard and it's only logical to question why a very attractive woman would be with you.

However, remember that you are a unique human being. There are qualities no money can buy and good looks can't make up for which many of those "top tier" people are lacking. Women are actively looking for those also on totally average guys at first glance, so don't be afraid to try your luck with the hottest women out there if you think she would be a nice girlfriend, you might be just what she is looking for.

*Louco is an observer of female behavior in a family with a 6 women to each man ratio.
 
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