love and dating, please inspire me

[EscapeArtist]

Anybody who has ever even just been on one date, or approached somebody they thought was cute, or had a relationship long or short term, pr even just met up once with a person from an online dating site, would you share the story of your experience?

A lot of the time, I don't see myself as worthy enough to allign myself with anybody who I see as really awesome, and so I try and block out the relationship lovey dove side of life. I tend to think that, because my social skills are not as good as other people's, i'm a hopeless case as far as relationships because nobody will like me....

So inspire me and anybody else who feels like this, with a tale of your positive or learning experiences with relationships and dating.

 

[InvisaLady]

Alright, perhaps not the best story, but the only one I've got.
I started on OKcupid about 3 months ago. I saw a fellow who I thought was way out of my league, but to me is was the most attractive guy on the site, so I took a chance and dropped him a message. I really was not expecting a reply, but three days later I got one.
After a few messages back and forth we decided to meet up for coffee (funny story about that, the place I chose was closed for a holiday so we ended up walking to the mall.) We were both nervous but we seemed to get along pretty well. At the end he said if I was interested in getting together again to drop him a message and let him know, so I did.
We have now been out 4 times and have done a lot of talking and laughing. I am not sure what direction this relationship is headed but I am keeping my fingers crossed

 

[EscapeArtist]

That's great invisalady!! I hope it works out well. Sounds exciting for you. I'll reactivate my account and send out some messages today I always refrained from contacting anybody who seemed out of my league but hey those are all imaginary limitations aren't they?

 

[satstrn]

It was Halloween night at my school. I had been feeling depressed and pretty lonely the whole day, and wasn't planning to do anything until a friend asked me to a party and suggested a good costume (farmer). She even lent me a pair of overalls (which were skin tight on me). Reluctantly I agreed.

After securing a hat, some strands of wheat to chew on, and a bottle of Jack Daniels, I arrived at the party being held by my friends. I looked like a real idiot, but so did everyone else so I didn't care too much. I started with a few whiskeys and a few beers, and before I knew it I was feeling pretty good. Thats when I saw her.

She had gorgeous eyes and nice hair. I knew right away she wasn't like most of the girls all slutted up and trashed. She was wearing heels and was wrapped in a fur coat. She was by herself and seemed a bit out of place, like she was waiting for somebody. I watched her safely from a distance, wondering what it would be like to be able to talk to women. I tried to beat myself up but the alcohol in my system kept saying, "might as well try, you'll probably never see her again". I gulped.

Filled with fear and in skin tight women's overalls, I made my approach. I knew for a fact I would fail but my legs kept moving towards her. She looked at me with those beautiful eyes, to which I replied "uhhh, are you Marilyn Monroe?". She looked at me with a funny look and said "no, not even close". I replied "oh. Well I'm a farmer", to which she smiled and said "yeah, I can tell". Turns out she was Gwyneth Paltrow's character in the Royal Tenanbaums.

For some reason, we really hit it off that night. She was visiting a friend from a nearby college and was staying with her friend for a few days. She made fun of me for my costume, and I tried to show off by displaying a fake southern accent and freezing my ass off in the october weather by taking her for a walk (although she let me borrow her fur coat a few times). We ended up kissing for hours that night, and it was only the second time I had even kissed a girl (I was 20 at the time). My first kiss was a disaster. The next day I went over there and asked her out. She said yes.

We ended up dating for four months or so...the 50 miles distance really did us in. She was the first girl I dated and I will always care about her. I guess the lesson I learned was that you have to pick yourself up and get out there, no matter how hard it is. I was depressed most of the day but i gave myself a chance just by showing up. Most of the time you'll end up failing, but giving yourself a small shot for success is better than giving yourself no shot at success. I still struggle quite a bit talking to girls. But I ask myself, how many times would I be willing to fail in order to find a girl like the one I found that night? And I push on. Sorry for the long post.

 

[MNM322]

I wish I could help, never been on a date my whole life

 

[MikeyC]

A lot of the time, I don't see myself as worthy enough to allign myself with anybody who I see as really awesome, and so I try and block out the relationship lovey dove side of life. I tend to think that, because my social skills are not as good as other people's, i'm a hopeless case as far as relationships because nobody will like me....

That is sad and completely untrue. You will find a woman that will love you. You seem so friendly and approachable. And cute.

Alright, perhaps not the best story, but the only one I've got.
I started on OKcupid about 3 months ago. I saw a fellow who I thought was way out of my league, but to me is was the most attractive guy on the site, so I took a chance and dropped him a message. I really was not expecting a reply, but three days later I got one.
After a few messages back and forth we decided to meet up for coffee (funny story about that, the place I chose was closed for a holiday so we ended up walking to the mall.) We were both nervous but we seemed to get along pretty well. At the end he said if I was interested in getting together again to drop him a message and let him know, so I did.
We have now been out 4 times and have done a lot of talking and laughing. I am not sure what direction this relationship is headed but I am keeping my fingers crossed

Good luck, InvisaLady! I seriously hope this one works out.

I dated my ex for two months last year. We were friends for a long time before that. Dating her was a bad idea, and we now don't speak. I won't get into it, but it's pretty much all my fault, and I would apologise to her if I could, but that's not possible. I'm confident that my next encounter with a girlfriend will be a little more positive, even if that one ends.

 

[xDreamseller]

I dated my ex for two months last year. We were friends for a long time before that. Dating her was a bad idea, and we now don't speak. I won't get into it, but it's pretty much all my fault, and I would apologise to her if I could, but that's not possible. I'm confident that my next encounter with a girlfriend will be a little more positive, even if that one ends.

Same story for me. Lost a good friend and haven't talked to her (or some of our mutual friends) since. Be very careful if you decide to date a friend, if it doesn't work out, it can seriously hurt the both of you. I hurt her pretty bad and never got to say sorry, so I feel pretty terrible about that.

Good luck with your internet date

 

[MNM322]

Never had a date as I stated so this isn't based on experience but all my life, people told me to "become friends first" with someone... and now I am hearing how its a bad idea... ?

 

[MikeyC]

Same story for me. Lost a good friend and haven't talked to her (or some of our mutual friends) since. Be very careful if you decide to date a friend, if it doesn't work out, it can seriously hurt the both of you. I hurt her pretty bad and never got to say sorry, so I feel pretty terrible about that.

My goodness, you sound like me! I guess we went through a similar thing. ::

Never had a date as I stated so this isn't based on experience but all my life, people told me to "become friends first" with someone... and now I am hearing how its a bad idea... ?

There's no right or wrong answer. Just do what feels right.

 

[coyote]

Anybody who has ever even just been on one date, or approached somebody they thought was cute, or had a relationship long or short term, pr even just met up once with a person from an online dating site, would you share the story of your experience?

A lot of the time, I don't see myself as worthy enough to allign myself with anybody who I see as really awesome, and so I try and block out the relationship lovey dove side of life. I tend to think that, because my social skills are not as good as other people's, i'm a hopeless case as far as relationships because nobody will like me....

So inspire me and anybody else who feels like this, with a tale of your positive or learning experiences with relationships and dating.

you are the only you

out of 7 billion people.

whoever you meet,

think how lucky they are

that they get to be one of the few

who gets to meet you.

be the best you that you can be,

and let them see that.

if they like the you that you are

they'll want to spend more time with you.

if they don't, you'll get to spend more time meeting others who will.

either way, you win.

 

[Nathália]

All kinds of people find love and share things in common and they may not even be popular things. There are people out there that fall in love with others because they just make them feel good. You're a sweet person and someone out there deserves that caring feeling you want to give and have back.

Out of all the people in the world, there are many girls all over the world wishing just like you. Social anxiety/anxiety is not that uncommon there is someone like you and for you struggling.

 

[OceanMist]

I've been on date(s) with 10 different women in the past year. I am not planning on keeping that pace because the reason I went on all of those dates was because of online dating.

It's helped dramatically with my confidence around women. I never thought I could walk up into a bar alone, but I've now done that. There was a time two years ago where I never even thought I'd get laid, but that happened with 4 of the women.

I'm not where I'd like to be yet, but I have taken some big steps and have enough success to realize that I can connect with a woman in a one on one setting.

I want to find women that I'm attracted to, that was a problem finding those kind of women online.

If I want to find love, it looks like I'll may have to do it the hard way and go out to social events (bars probably) and either approach women or get approached by women.

 

[chibiXphantom]

i met my boyfriend in my art class. he sat by me and would always try to get me to talk or laugh. i acted really shy and stuff, trying to hide my smile and laughs. i had a crush on him the first time i saw him. almost a month went by and i didnt know he liked me. all the girls talked to him a lot and were all huggy and friendly with him. i just kind of felt like i was the weird quiet kid everyone wanted to get to talk, almost like i was a little pet they were trying to get to do a trick. kind of how i felt all through high school. no way he actually liked me

but next thing i know asks me out to dinner. we start dating and the months go by. sometimes i still cant see why he would want to date a freak like me (after all, he's like..my dream guy) but i guess that i must be his type.

(that all probably sounded really lame)

 

[Sial Axetder]

I am not a fan of dating. Too much pressure for both involved. Getting together and just having fun - that's what I like to do.

Most of my "relations" end up one sided. Its not fun trying to continue being with someone you want to spend time with alone.

Not inspiring I know.
Got to have at least one poster who isn't, right?

 

[ForeverTheWeirdKid]

I met this girl, she was into drinking , sports and partying.
She helped me see that opposites attract but true lovers are compatable.

 

[MikeyC]

Most of my "relations" end up one sided. Its not fun trying to continue being with someone you want to spend time with alone.

She didn't want alone-time with you?

 

[Sial Axetder]

She didn't want alone-time with you?

hmm sorry. No that's not what I meant.

Example: We get to a certain point and things are great between us then she quits trying to keep conversations going leaving me to do everything.

Its tiring, boring and stressful.

 

[MikeyC]

hmm sorry. No that's not what I meant.

Example: We get to a certain point and things are great between us then she quits trying to keep conversations going leaving me to do everything.

Its tiring, boring and stressful.

Maybe she feels comfortable not talking. I'm not sure. Sorry you go through that.

 

[OceanMist]

hmm sorry. No that's not what I meant.

Example: We get to a certain point and things are great between us then she quits trying to keep conversations going leaving me to do everything.

Its tiring, boring and stressful.

Oh man, I hate it when some women do that. It's so selfish. I'm sorry you have had to go through that.

I had that with some of the women I dated, and I got rid of them quickly. I hate it when certain women act like they are a prize and they feel like they never have to initiate anything.

These particular women want the guy to chase them down, so to speak. They want the guy to lead the entire conversation, make every single little thing happen so all the woman has to do is give a one word answer.

Relationships are about balance, both parties should be exerting equal effort with everything. JMO.

 

[MarionBerry]

Once again the conversation turns into a women-bashing contest.

So here is my inspiring story that the original poster asked for:

So I was bored one night and rejoined okcupid just so I could look at the sexy male eyecandy. I didn't want to meet anyone, I was just looking. I saw this guy's profile and it was pretty funny, he was cute, creative, and seemed smart. Way out of my league, I thought. But I sent him a message saying I liked his profile. He replied.

We back-and-forth messaged for a day or so and on a very brave whim, I told him to ask me out. He did.

Our first date was at a trivia night at a bar in town and we both had a lot of fun. I was totally awkward and nervous but he had a cool confidence that calmed me down. We had more in common than I thought we would. He'd just finished watching the entire Star Trek canon and we agreed Voyager was the best series and Capt. Janeway the most kickass. He was going to be Q for Halloween and I'd already decided to wear my own Star Trek uniform for Halloween. I shared my bipolar status with him. He was totally unfazed, his mom is bipolar. I shared my social anxiety issues. He said when we went out in public we could always leave early if I needed to. Things were really looking really good for us.

A month and a half later and things are going really well. He's really easy to get along with and clearly is totally into me. But the feeling is mutual. He's the most compassionate, passionate, empathetic man I've ever met.

Early on he gave me what I think is the best compliment anyone has ever given me. We were working on one of his creative projects together, truly an intimate experience for an artist, and he said that I am "easy to share space with." Awkwardly worded, yes. But truly significant in that it meant he was comfortable sharing his most personal artistic process with me. I was the first person to ever help him out with a project. A very significant thing for me.

I think I got really lucky to find someone who is sensitive to my idiosyncrasies and am compatible with on so many levels. We'll see where the future leads us, it is still very early, but things are looking good.