Zoogirl84
Active member
Hi, my name is Audra and I'm hoping someone can help me. here is my story: After high school I went to a community college for a surgical tech degree because I was too afraid to go to a "big college." 3 years later I was living in Iowa with a boyfriend I no longer loved and I hated my career. So I owned up to all, and through much hard work I changed my whole life. I went back to school and got my B.S. in Zoology because I love animals, and I just got married to a man I absolutely love back in May. The problem is....after a year of applying to zoos all across America and after 70-80 applications over a year after graduating I got offered a zookeeper job at the El Paso Zoo. My husband was willing to give up his good job and move from CO to El Paso to give me a shot at my dream job.
So we moved.
A month and a half later.... I am miserable once again. I hate the job and very much hate El Paso. I want to move back already. Of course my husband does too. He could even get a job back with his old company. So what's stopping me? The fact that I will be a complete failure once again. And my parents will prey on that. I will look like such an idiot and fool for putting everyone through this huge move just to turn around and come back.
But that's not all...this is where my social anxiety comes in. I am so damn terrified to actually quit my job...to physically tell my boss I want to quit. They put a lot of effort and money into me...they'd be pissed! Like the terrified coward I am I'd rather write a sincere note and with it place all of my company owned things on their desk and just disappear. But I feel like that's a bad thing to do. Plus I just don't know where I'd work back in Colorado. With my social anxiety I can't handle people-heavy jobs (I even tried Walmart once, ha!! I barely lasted a month). I already worked at two animal shelters, either of which I wouldn't go back to. I just can't think of anything.
I wish we had never left. I wish everything could just go back to the way it was. I miss my husbands family and friends so badly, I miss our church (can't go to church out here because of my schedule), hell I even miss the dang radio stations. I miss everything and everyone about Colorado.
I don't know what to do. Do I give up on yet another career or go back home where I know I am happy? I don't know if its just the zookeeper job at El Paso that I hate or the whole career field... I did do a 2 month zookeeper internship at the Oakland Zoo and I liked it, except for the senior keeper was a witch.
I don't know what to do. And BTW my husband still doesn't have a job here. I'm actually hoping we simply run out of money and have to go back to his old job. At least then I could blame that and not myself for having to go back home.
So we moved.
A month and a half later.... I am miserable once again. I hate the job and very much hate El Paso. I want to move back already. Of course my husband does too. He could even get a job back with his old company. So what's stopping me? The fact that I will be a complete failure once again. And my parents will prey on that. I will look like such an idiot and fool for putting everyone through this huge move just to turn around and come back.
But that's not all...this is where my social anxiety comes in. I am so damn terrified to actually quit my job...to physically tell my boss I want to quit. They put a lot of effort and money into me...they'd be pissed! Like the terrified coward I am I'd rather write a sincere note and with it place all of my company owned things on their desk and just disappear. But I feel like that's a bad thing to do. Plus I just don't know where I'd work back in Colorado. With my social anxiety I can't handle people-heavy jobs (I even tried Walmart once, ha!! I barely lasted a month). I already worked at two animal shelters, either of which I wouldn't go back to. I just can't think of anything.
I wish we had never left. I wish everything could just go back to the way it was. I miss my husbands family and friends so badly, I miss our church (can't go to church out here because of my schedule), hell I even miss the dang radio stations. I miss everything and everyone about Colorado.
I don't know what to do. Do I give up on yet another career or go back home where I know I am happy? I don't know if its just the zookeeper job at El Paso that I hate or the whole career field... I did do a 2 month zookeeper internship at the Oakland Zoo and I liked it, except for the senior keeper was a witch.
I don't know what to do. And BTW my husband still doesn't have a job here. I'm actually hoping we simply run out of money and have to go back to his old job. At least then I could blame that and not myself for having to go back home.