Guys..ever drive past a girls house you like?

TooShyShy

Well-known member
might be a scenario where all the possible outcomes are negative and hurtful for him (and you too possibly). maybe he senses this and that's why he's acting the way he is. SA can put us in those binds--and it sucks like a mother****er.


Can you explain, in detail pleeez:)
 

R3K

Well-known member
someone else alluded to it earlier in this thread... hypothetical situation, may not apply to this dude:

basically a social phobic defeats himself with so much negative thinking and worrying that he's paralyzed. but he's still a man and he thinks that he can and should be able to get what he wants, but as soon as he tries the social anxiety pulls the rug out from under him--negative result. if he doesn't try to go for something he desires because of his fears then he constantly wonders "what if?" and it makes him feel weak, pathetic and helpless--negative result. so it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation for him.
 

los77

Well-known member
someone else alluded to it earlier in this thread... hypothetical situation, may not apply to this dude:

basically a social phobic defeats himself with so much negative thinking and worrying that he's paralyzed. but he's still a man and he thinks that he can and should be able to get what he wants, but as soon as he tries the social anxiety pulls the rug out from under him--negative result. if he doesn't try to go for something he desires because of his fears then he constantly wonders "what if?" and it makes him feel weak, pathetic and helpless--negative result. so it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation for him.

Yup, this might be what is going on with him, its happened to me sometimes
 

jack23

New member
I did this a whole bunch in my tiny town in high school. Girl I did it too is still my friend and she has told me that she noticed it and said it was creepy. But she understands my SA to a certain extent because I've told her about it amongst other conversations unrelated to the incident.

Thankfully growing up and just becoming increasingly self-aware and making a point not to act a certain way has helped a great deal. I just need to apply it to a ton of other unsatisfactory actions and behavior.
 

TooShyShy

Well-known member
It just seems that his up and down moods are just so unpredictable. Some days he will seem so happy and i think FINALLY he is going to do something..he is going out of his way to be around me..he stares constantly..''hangs out'' where ever i am..its like he is really trying..then the next day or two he looks like a petrified and lost little boy..i notice this especially on Fridays right before the weekend!!!!!!!!!!!

I just don't get how ones mood can change so much???? Its almost as if his mood depends on my actions..or reactions towards him or just how he can ''handle'' being around me that may have something to do with him being so up and down all the time..but i can't tell for sure..


What makes a good day good..that he can be happy, more relaxed, more positive and really puts int he effort to get closer to me and a bad day so bad and so unbearable that he needs to keep a ''safe'' distance or hide away until he gets it together enough to even look me in the eye>???


Its very confusing and hurtful at times..its been a real roller coaster ride to say the least:(
 
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R3K

Well-known member
It just seems that his up and down moods are just so unpredictable. Some days he will seem so happy and i think FINALLY he is going to do something..

if i'm reading this situation right, then, i don't think he's ever going to actually do something as far as making a move to ask you out or flirt with you.

mood swings are common for many disorders like SA. i'm starting to feel pity for this guy more and more everytime you post a new reply on here. it's like spending a day in a third-world country and seeing 20 poor, diseased and dying children, then spending a week there and seeing a hundred more and so on, etc..

it's hard for me to put myself in your shoes, i'm more suited to his perspective--and i might not even be getting it right:confused:. i'm pretty much out of ideas and suggestions... this kind of situation requires divine intervention, you may need a miracle to happen.
 

TooShyShy

Well-known member
Thats what i have been thinking, rather PRAYING for..its a real shame but if it's Gods Will then....
I really do hope 'He' can help him...guide him to get help. More then anything i want him to break through this and be able to have all the things he wants and desires in his heart.


I am just so confused!!!!!!!!!!

Why do you think he tries to hide the fact he likes me? Seriusly i don't get it, its so obvious to me..people have even questioned his behavior around me!!!!!!

Especially when i caught him driving by my condo complex 2 weeks ago on Saturday he was mortified and when i saw him at work Monday..he looked so completely frightened..seriously, like he was scared sh!tl#ss when he saw me..this went on all day for the next 2 days!!!

Until i asked him for his cell phone number...unfortunatley he offered me his work number BUT THEN BECAME VERRRY HAPPY AROUND ME after he gave it to me (confusing) until he saw me talking/texting on my cell phone making plans for the weekend with my niece and a female friend...i guess he didnt know that...arrrrrrghhh!

I swear, this is the most stressful, nerve wracking and heartbreaking thing for a person to go through...i think its just as torturous, for him maybe even more so!!!!!!!!


Whats EXACTLY is so scary?????


Why...bcuz he waited so long and now thinks i am not interested anymore? Or bcuz if he makes a move THEN he will have to actually admit how he feels and DO SOMETHING about it once and for all!!!!! To actually be comfortable in an intimate relationship with me..which i can't imagine at this point?!?!?

If he knows he can't make it happen then why do what he's doing? I think he hurts himself more!!!!!



How is what he's doing even enough for him?
 
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Aussie_Lad

Well-known member
Thats what i have been thinking, rather PRAYING for..its a real shame but if it's Gods Will then....
I really do hope 'He' can help him...guide him to get help. More then anything i want him to break through this and be able to have all the things he wants and desires in his heart.


I am just so confused!!!!!!!!!!

Why do you think he tries to hide the fact he likes me? Seriusly i don't get it, its so obvious to me..people have even questioned his behavior around me!!!!!!

Especially when i caught him driving by my condo complex 2 weeks ago on Saturday he was mortified and when i saw him at work Monday..he looked so completely frightened..seriously, like he was scared sh!tl#ss when he saw me..this went on all day for the next 2 days!!!

Until i asked him for his cell phone number...unfortunatley he offered me his work number BUT THEN BECAME VERRRY HAPPY AROUND ME after he gave it to me (confusing) until he saw me talking/texting on my cell phone making plans for the weekend with my niece and a female friend...i guess he didnt know that...arrrrrrghhh!

I swear, this is the most stressful, nerve wracking and heartbreaking thing for a person to go through...i think its just as torturous, for him maybe even more so!!!!!!!!


Whats EXACTLY is so scary?????


Why...bcuz he waited so long and now thinks i am not interested anymore? Or bcuz if he makes a move THEN he will have to actually admit how he feels and DO SOMETHING about it once and for all!!!!! To actually be comfortable in an intimate relationship with me..which i can't imagine at this point?!?!?

If he knows he can't make it happen then why do what he's doing? I think he hurts himself more!!!!!



How is what he's doing even enough for him?

There are two thoughts going on in his head at the same time, is my guess.

1) "Wouldn't it be great to be with a girl like that. I have a feeling that she likes me, and this scares me sh*tless because no-one has ever felt this way about me before and this leads onto the second point."

2) "On my rating scale the girl is a 10/10, but I barely feel like a 3/10 myself. There is no way that a 10/10 girl would even consider dating a 3/10 man. I may as well give up now than face the rejection that I know will happen if she finds out that I like her."
 

theblank

Well-known member
Call me a psychopath, but when I was in high school (back in the 80's) I had a crush on a pretty girl and used to drive past her house all the time. I was too shy to talk to her like a normal person, so I'd drive by her house hoping to either get a glimpse of her or get the nerve to stop and knock on her door.

One day I finally did stop. My heart was pounding as I knocked on her door. Her brother answered and invited me in. There she was standing there in all her glory with her long blond hair, beautiful smile and party girl energy. I stood there shaking and had no idea what to say. I think she thought it was cute and started talking to me. At one point she leaned in close to me and her hair draped across my arm. I was in ecstasy! Of course she was just teasing me and nothing ever came of it. However, that didn't stop me from driving past her house a couple hundred more times. Eventually I stopped, but for old time's sake I still do it from time to time...maybe every couple of years or so.

Believe it or not she still lives there so who knows, maybe one day I will get lucky?

Probably not.
 

TooShyShy

Well-known member
Do you really drive by in hopes you will see her...or that she will see you? He looked mortified when he got caught by me that day so i don't think he hoped i would see him doing this.

A guy told me sometimes its to see if ANYONE ELSE is there..another car, another man, etc. Also if HER car is there???

Could it be he is trying to find out if i have a boyfriend or social life? It was a Saturday..it was around 12 noon though:)
 

theblank

Well-known member
Do you really drive by in hopes you will see her...or that she will see you?

I'm not sure if you were asking me the question or not, but in my case I hoped to see her and actually hoped she WOULDN'T see me. If she saw me more than once then she would know I'm driving by intentionally and that would seem creepy. I didn't want to seem (or be) creepy. In reality I was just shy and hoping to eventually get the nerve to talk with her and ask her out. In the meantime just going past where she lived knowing that I was near her presence was enough to keep me going. I definitely meant her no harm in any way.

That was my situation. Who knows what it is with someone else because you don't know their mental state or their motives. Always be careful.
 

TooShyShy

Well-known member
Thank you i always try to be safe.

I just think that with the guy i know who did this he deliberately turned onto my street and had to make the decision to do so ahead of time..since he was at a 4 way light and you have to know which way you are going to get into the right lane.

I just wondered at 12 in the afternoon what would he gain..but of course you would have no way of knowing what he was thinking.

He seems so afraid to be close to me sometimes that i think in his car..he would feel more safe possibly..like, i can feel close to her but keep my distance all at the same time without her knowing i am doing this! Maybe its to get more comfortable around me since he has a hard time relaxing and being himself when i am around..he can talk and laugh with EVERYONE in the building..just not with me..he tries sometimes, but he mostly just stares and ''hangs out'' around me! I will intiate conversation as much as i can but its difficult, he get sverrrrry nervous and all anxious!

My gut tells me he has done the drive byes before..like i said he intentionally got into the right lane and couldn't do anything about it once i drove by him (slooooowly) he had to drive past me...and my house:Dhe knew where he was going!

I know he was mortified and i am sure appearing ''creepy'' to me was one of the reasons. I think he also didn't want me going into work and being upset with him..of course i am not and let him see that so he came around again and seemed relieved for a few days..lol!!!!!
 
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hoddesdon

Well-known member
Syntax issue

I like many houses I drive past, and some of them would either be owned by or inhabited by girls, so the answer is yes, I suppose.
 

pondfish

New member
Yes and still do.

In high school I'd get my parent to past her house, say "let's go this way, it gets boring the other one all the time".

More recently after all my friends got their drivers' licenses, I'd try and signal for them to go a particular route, and even today I still do. Google Maps has allowed me to get an arial view of her house.

All this sounds completely weird and messed up, but the motives are very innocent. I do it just incase I see her. As you get obsessive about the girl, she's always in your head "I wonder what she's up to". It appears that in my mind the world is going on, the girl has plenty of friends and has plenty to do, while you sit at home dreaming doing nothing, however I don't want anyone to think that about me.

By driving past it's like as if you're stuck in a daydream. It's a curiosity, you imagine what she's doing and dream about being a part of it, whether it be sitting in the garden or getting something out of the car. Also to check if she has any visitors, not to check whether she's got a boyfriend or not, but to just know what she's up to. It's an uncontrollable curiosity, I just want to know that she's keeping busy doing whatever she enjoys, while I sit thinking about her.

BTW TooShyShy, I've read many of your other posts and might have some suggestions.
 
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