Guys I don't know what to do

I always had a pretty good life and it's come as such a shock to my parents in the past 2 or so years that I've let this blushing issue basically run my life. Like I don't hang out with friends anymore, mainly because they're away at school, but also because I don't feel like I ever have anything to say and I'm gonna turn red anyway and seem like I don't believe in what I'm saying, even if I truly do, so what's the point.

I just feel like it's so hard to focus on any good qualities I have because I just wonder 24/7 how stressed I must look, therefore enhancing the stress. It's such a vicious cycle and I'd literally wish it on no one. Not even people I think are evil. I always thought I was a good person, but because I focus on so much bad especially within myself, I don't even have that anymore. I don't feel like a good person. Half the time I feel evil because I'm bringing this sadness so terribly upon myself and it's selfish because it's making those around me worried. I just don't know how to stop beating myself up. It's second nature now.

I realize that the only way to beat this is to just not care that it's happening and not check in all the time but I guess I have control issues or something because I feel the need to check in and control it even though that doesn't work and usually makes it worse, I just can't stop. I feel like I've all but lost who I am. It's so depressing.

So basically i etched out ETS as completely out of the question this past winter. I resolved to accept this problem and try and move on with my life as best I can. But I literally cannot. I've tried so hard. I've tried to not try. Nothing. I just can't let it go.

So I know everyone's really against it but if I could have some feeling that there's relief even if it's only for a short while and the blushing resurfaces 2 years from now. At least I'd have had 2 years where I didn't really have to worry about this. Because I worry about it so much I have terrible acne and acne scarring and I even got laser resurfacing to help my skin but my acne scarring is so deep, it only did so much and now I'm breaking out more, trying to face this problem. I just don't see any light and people look at me like I'm a freak. I get legitimate stares sometimes in public that make me feel horrible. Maybe they're not thinking what I think they're thinking but it doesn't matter because I know how I look and I know it's not pretty or even remotely normal looking.

I know everyone's hella against ETS but I'm willing to give it a go. Any thoughts, preferably in favor of ETS but, against it is welcome too.

I'm not sure what to suggest for the blushing. As for the acne, I find baking soda helps me tremendously, and to some extent bar soap. Keeping hair away from my face helps too.

Um I am sort of dumb so I don't know what ETS stands for, but if you're all for it I guess I can be all for it if you think it will help you with your problem.

Though I sometimes get acne outbursts but usually on a small scale and they only tend to happen when I don't shower for a couple days. I think the big point is making sure to insure an acne free environment aka wash up well and eat the right type of foods, you can also listen to what laure said, soap to help remove some of the oils that cause acne.

Hey Anomie, I have tried it but only for a month in high school (full treatment's like 5 months) and I stopped early cause a side effect can be depression/suicidal thoughts, and I guess I'm a sensitive person because that month was hands down the worst of my life. Except, lately I've been in the roughest patch I think I've ever had so maybe I should retract that.

I actually have great hygiene, shower every day and if I happen to be too lazy or whatever, then I at least deep cleanse my face. I think the bigger problem is the scarring. It's improved but not great. Does your friend have any scarring Anomie or did he have milder acne?

I guess the biggest biggest issue is just that I'm so negative and feel so worthless and can't seem to focus on my good qualities because all I can ever see is what sucks about me. I think our brains have a lot to do with our skin. And genetics + negativity has led mine to suck royally. I just wish I could be more positive but it's such an every minute of every day kind of thing and I'm in such a negative tailspin.... I just want something to give me hope.

The ETS surgery is kind of controversial. Ok, it's really controversial. They like sever part of your nervous system so signals don't reach your face, so it's supposed (not 100%) stop your blushing or lessen it at least. I mean when I actually explain it, it sounds completely nuts and I really don't want to butcher my body. But I've really tried so hard to accept this blushing and I can't. Also, you'll get compensatory sweating which means you'll sweat on your body since you're not releasing anything through your nipple line and above. Some people seem to get the CS bad or really bad. Like soaking through clothes. I wouldn't be ok with that, obviously. But if I just sweat on my body mildly, I could wear dark clothing and have a blush-free, more out-going life, or at least feel like I have a shot at some type of life....it's sounding tempting lately.

k8steroonis said:

Hey Anomie, I have tried it but only for a month in high school (full treatment's like 5 months) and I stopped early cause a side effect can be depression/suicidal thoughts, and I guess I'm a sensitive person because that month was hands down the worst of my life. Except, lately I've been in the roughest patch I think I've ever had so maybe I should retract that.

I actually have great hygiene, shower every day and if I happen to be too lazy or whatever, then I at least deep cleanse my face. I think the bigger problem is the scarring. It's improved but not great. Does your friend have any scarring Anomie or did he have milder acne?

I guess the biggest biggest issue is just that I'm so negative and feel so worthless and can't seem to focus on my good qualities because all I can ever see is what sucks about me. I think our brains have a lot to do with our skin. And genetics + negativity has led mine to suck royally. I just wish I could be more positive but it's such an every minute of every day kind of thing and I'm in such a negative tailspin.... I just want something to give me hope.

The ETS surgery is kind of controversial. Ok, it's really controversial. They like sever part of your nervous system so signals don't reach your face, so it's supposed (not 100%) stop your blushing or lessen it at least. I mean when I actually explain it, it sounds completely nuts and I really don't want to butcher my body. But I've really tried so hard to accept this blushing and I can't. Also, you'll get compensatory sweating which means you'll sweat on your body since you're not releasing anything through your nipple line and above. Some people seem to get the CS bad or really bad. Like soaking through clothes. I wouldn't be ok with that, obviously. But if I just sweat on my body mildly, I could wear dark clothing and have a blush-free, more out-going life, or at least feel like I have a shot at some type of life....it's sounding tempting lately.

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Ah I see so that is what ETS is. I think if it can really help make your life better go for it. My brother had laser surgery for his eyes because he was tired of wearing glasses. Now he has 20/20 vision almost as good as my 20/15 vision. Science has improved a lot over the years and can improve the lives of those who can afford it. The main thing is getting over the stigma that you are defying god or your own identity by wanting to change something that is an inconvenience to you. It is your choice in the end whether you want to or not.

Stay away from accutane, esp. the pill form. I actually used gel accutane for 1 year with no side affects, BUT it didnt help my acne enough.

Retin a micro is da bomb tho. Not only does the micro formulation not make me flaky, red and dried out, but it helps prevent wrinkles and I've been using it for years. I get it for $4 a box online and have been for years as well.

I've got the theory that people that are prone to bad acne and blushing very deeply are also susceptible to rosasea later on down the line. I believe it is something related to damaged capillaries and such. I used to have a blushing problem as a kid but learned early on if I prepare myself before speaking to someone it doesnt happen bad at all...it's gotten to the point I dont usually have to think about it (not that I talk to many ppl inr anyway). It's like if I feel that I'm about to transform to tomato red I can "turn the heat down" lol...I can now control it.

But, I'm 28 years old and started worrying about the blushing thing at about age 11 so I've had many years of practice

I know you preferred only positive responses and views but I have had ETS and would strongly encourage you NOT to have this done. It is the worst thing I have ever put myself through. The pain was unbearable and all in all was a complete waste of time. I did not get the CS straight after. It developed a couple of years after. I literally have to change my clothes several times a day - even in the winter. It is not pleasant. Back, belly, legs, feet, everything sweats other than by hands. ETS does not help with facial flushing nor does it help with sweating no matter what the doctors say and patients who think they have been helped by having ETS. Facial flushing in this context is a psychological matter and should only be treated psychologically. I can't believe I am finally able to admit this truth after years and years of thinking their were biological factors involved. Please find yourself a CBT therapist. If you are from the UK you'll be able to get help from the NHS without any charges to yourself. I've worked in a mental health hospital and am now a psychology student and know that there is help for you without having to take drastic measures such as surgery. Surgery is not the option and I wish I knew this back in 2008 when I had it done. Nerves are not something that should be messed with.