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Old 06-24-2010  
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Default Re: "Hanging out" / "socializing" with people bores me to bits

I like how it distracts me from feeling rubbish. I've conditioned myself to think that if these people are willingly spending time with me, I must be a decent person. Despite not liking myself, I trust my friends' opinions over my own mostly.
Sometimes it's nice to not be doing anything but still be with someone.. Makes me feel comfortable
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Old 06-24-2010  
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Default Re: "Hanging out" / "socializing" with people bores me to bits

I suppose it all depends on who you're hanging out with. I've been caught up in certain situations where I felt so left out and wondered what the heck I was doing there. "Normal" people tend to talk about material stuff the most, like clothes, cars, furniture, then they talk about dating and who they like and who they don't like. To me that's extremely boring. Now if I were to find a nice interesting group that talked about meaningful things, then I wouldn't mind spending hours talking to them.
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Old 06-24-2010  
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Default Re: "Hanging out" / "socializing" with people bores me to bits

I find it the same, unless Im talking to someone who actually has something very interesting to say. However, the socializing world is just a waste of time. All the normals just distract themselves from the reality in our world with these happy tea times and gossip that rots the mind. Its things like mindless socializing and TV that can destroy your potential (unless its discovery channel lol). I wouldnt say that I avoid socializing because its boring, its more or so that I wont fall for the socially acceptable code by distracting myself with these mindless tricks of small talk. Its almost like jumping through hoops of fire. So next time one of your friends asks you to just come "hang out" or go for coffee or something, just be like no, lets climb a tree, talk about the mysteries in the world and make annoying bird calls to the non suspecting people walking below, its quite fun actually.
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Old 06-24-2010  
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Default Re: "Hanging out" / "socializing" with people bores me to bits

where is the fun if you cant be youreself?
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Old 06-24-2010  
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Default Re: "Hanging out" / "socializing" with people bores me to bits

I enjoy hanging out with people too. As long as they don't give me a hard time for being quiet. Those kind of people I can't stand.
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Old 06-24-2010  
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Default Re: "Hanging out" / "socializing" with people bores me to bits

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ritta View Post
I suppose it all depends on who you're hanging out with. I've been caught up in certain situations where I felt so left out and wondered what the heck I was doing there. "Normal" people tend to talk about material stuff the most, like clothes, cars, furniture, then they talk about dating and who they like and who they don't like. To me that's extremely boring. Now if I were to find a nice interesting group that talked about meaningful things, then I wouldn't mind spending hours talking to them.
Yes! Especially that first sentence. Humans are hardwired to be social, we can't help it. Just by posting in this thread you are socializing. A lot of the problem is finding the right people to spend time with.
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Old 06-24-2010  
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Default Re: "Hanging out" / "socializing" with people bores me to bits

When I'm with the right people I enjoy it. Otherwise I just clam up and look for a way out.

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Old 07-26-2010  
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Default Re: "Hanging out" / "socializing" with people bores me to bits

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I just can't stand "hanging out" with people - I find it extremely boring.

You know, just casually chatting with people, doing nothing much in particular, to me seems to be such a waste of time.

In that time, I'd rather go get more work done, or actually go do something I like to do. I just find your classic social occasions - chatting with people over a cup of coffee / meal, loosely "hanging out" with friends, going out for a drink - all mind-bogglingly boring. In those situations I watch the time go by and wish I was doing somethiing more "productive".

The irony is, all this makes me look like someone who wants to reject human contact and be alone. But that's not true - I still long for meaningful human contact and I wish there were some people I could enjoy being with. But at the same time, I hate "socializing" the way most people do. See the Catch-22? :(

Do people really enjoy "socializing" deep down? Or is socializing a "price to pay" in order to be with other people?
I'm new here and I have an observation about this thread. You know as Iím reading this you sound like an introvert. Introverts typically donít like random socializing either. Are you sure you belong on the shyness boards? LOL. I myself am both shy and an introvert and I am often bored sh* with the type of hanging out you describe. In my case, Iíd rather be doing something like seeing a show or even shopping or looking at some art or even just people watching. I donít really like discussing the mundanities of life Ė though I enjoy a nice cup of coffee. Most people, by whom I mean extroverted people, really do enjoy socializing for its own sake. Thatís how they get their psychological energy. They need it like water.

Thatís why some people will even hang out with folks they donít particularly like just to hang out with someone. Think about it. Thereís a million ways to entertain yourself at home if youíre so inclined. I have loads of books, CDs, movies, the interwebs, a pet, and a garden. I could walk downtown and look in the shops or go to the beach. I am perfectly content to enjoy this stuff alone even preferring to do it all alone. An extrovert would be bored alone or feel weird doing stuff like that alone. They call all their friends but theyíre not available. However the one thatís a complete **** off that embarrassed them at a party once isnít, so they invite that person. Anything not to be alone.

Myself, I would never have called the **** off or even hung out with that fool again. Even if I felt lonely, which introverts can, I would NOT hang with someone unless I liked them. Who does that? Oh, yeahÖso any how you guys that hate pointless socializing sound like shy and introverted people to me. Itís NOT just your SA talking. Itís your introversion.

A shy extrovert (yes, they can be shy) would feel a sense of great comfort to just be hanging with people. I have a friend like that. Sheís painfully shy, but she is always looking for company typically me. Iím terrible. I donít need to see or talk to anyone for weeks at a time. And I dread talking to some people on the phone because I know they will talk my ear off and bore me to tears. Itís just so draining. And thatís the definition of an introvert. Social interaction is draining and small talk is dull as all get out. People consistently confuse it with shyness and SA but itís different and I should know because Iím both.
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Old 07-26-2010  
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Default Re: "Hanging out" / "socializing" with people bores me to bits

Casual talk, hanging out and similar stuff is a bonding mechanism in humans, just like the grooming in chimpanzees.

"Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible." -- Frank Zappa
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Old 07-26-2010  
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Default Re: "Hanging out" / "socializing" with people bores me to bits

Quote:
Originally Posted by shybee View Post
I'm new here and I have an observation about this thread. You know as Iím reading this you sound like an introvert. Introverts typically donít like random socializing either. Are you sure you belong on the shyness boards? LOL. I myself am both shy and an introvert and I am often bored sh* with the type of hanging out you describe. In my case, Iíd rather be doing something like seeing a show or even shopping or looking at some art or even just people watching. I donít really like discussing the mundanities of life Ė though I enjoy a nice cup of coffee. Most people, by whom I mean extroverted people, really do enjoy socializing for its own sake. Thatís how they get their psychological energy. They need it like water.

Thatís why some people will even hang out with folks they donít particularly like just to hang out with someone. Think about it. Thereís a million ways to entertain yourself at home if youíre so inclined. I have loads of books, CDs, movies, the interwebs, a pet, and a garden. I could walk downtown and look in the shops or go to the beach. I am perfectly content to enjoy this stuff alone even preferring to do it all alone. An extrovert would be bored alone or feel weird doing stuff like that alone. They call all their friends but theyíre not available. However the one thatís a complete **** off that embarrassed them at a party once isnít, so they invite that person. Anything not to be alone.

Myself, I would never have called the **** off or even hung out with that fool again. Even if I felt lonely, which introverts can, I would NOT hang with someone unless I liked them. Who does that? Oh, yeahÖso any how you guys that hate pointless socializing sound like shy and introverted people to me. Itís NOT just your SA talking. Itís your introversion.

A shy extrovert (yes, they can be shy) would feel a sense of great comfort to just be hanging with people. I have a friend like that. Sheís painfully shy, but she is always looking for company typically me. Iím terrible. I donít need to see or talk to anyone for weeks at a time. And I dread talking to some people on the phone because I know they will talk my ear off and bore me to tears. Itís just so draining. And thatís the definition of an introvert. Social interaction is draining and small talk is dull as all get out. People consistently confuse it with shyness and SA but itís different and I should know because Iím both.
I completely agree with the shy and extrovert type being a possibility. I think I might be a shy and slightly extroverted person, as if not for the company of my bf i'd drive myself insane with my own company as long as whatever occupies me on my laptop runs its course. This is why I was so extremely frustrated before meeting him - I was on my own a lot yet tortured by the prospect of so******ing due to its anxiety inducing properties.

ちひろ
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