"Hanging out" / "socializing" with people bores me to bits

Meisiemel

Meisiemel

Well-known member
My boyfriend always drags me along to hang out with his friends, and I spend the entire time thinking of all the other things I could be doing. Anything from chores like laundry, to reading a book or doing fun stuff on the computer. It blows my mind that these people are content to waste many hours every day just sitting around talking.
To people who are not introverted this might sound arrogant or weird, but I have never in my entire life felt lonely. I am happiest when alone.
 
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fooj

Member
Meisiemel said:
My boyfriend always drags me along to hang out with his friends, and I spend the entire time thinking of all the other things I could be doing. Anything from chores like laundry, to reading a book or doing fun stuff on the computer. It blows my mind that these people are content to waste many hours every day just sitting around talking.
To people who are not introverted this might sound arrogant or weird, but I have never in my entire life felt lonely. I am happiest when alone.
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I wish I were like that, "happiest when alone". I think I'm actually becoming like that, except I have to deal with people at work and day to day living, hence the conundrum.
 
Ashiene

Ashiene

Well-known member
socialising is a pointless activity for someone to keep his friends or be forgotten by them. many people see it as work, "working to maintain a relationship", rather than actually enjoying it. see, if a person has many friends, he has to set aside time for every single one of them, from simple things like chatting over a meal to more complex activities like going on trips.

this means, many sociable people rarely have time for themselves, less time for them to cultivate their minds, and even less time to reflect on themselves. their world becomes the world of others, and they live for others rather than for themselves.
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
i think about this alot and to be honest i think i'm on the same wavelength but only because i believe i am rubbish at having fun with people and enjoying myself. usually i get really jelous and self conscious when everyone is having a great time and i feel that i'm not giving enough or being interesting. ...

some people are just better suited to it.

but practice goes a long way too.
 
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Pinciotti

Member
stephen said:
I think maybe I'm more able than most to entertain myself. Even if I'm seemingly just sitting staring at a spot on the wall my brain is still churning away. (Honest I'm not really a cabbage ::p:). Then there's times when I am just staring at a spot on the wall. Sometimes I just appreciate the down time.
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I soooo agree! I like hanging with my few friends, but not for long. After a while it starts to feel like I have to try to think of something new to say, and it all becomes tiresome. If I've been hanging with friends, I have to sit the next day at home, where I don't have to say anything if I don't want to, so that I can recover (because I get physically tired for all the socializing).
It's nice to have a fiancee with whom I can just sit and do nothing and say nothing and not feel uncomfortable (quite the opposite!).

I can lay on my bed for hours just creating stories in my head or think about nothing at all. It's so relaxing. And I'm no cabbage either! :D
 
fitftw

fitftw

Well-known member
I yawn a lot when I hang out with people. Besides, what's the point? It was cool when I was a teenager and we'd all hang out and get messed up and chill. Now though, what's there to do with other people? Nothing.
 
SilverFire

SilverFire

Well-known member
I agree with the first poster. Hanging out with people you don't know well or don't like just to hang out is boring, stupid, pointless, and an utter waste of time. I think that people that need to do that have a personality flaw, honestly. If you put them on a deserted island they'd die in a month due to the lack of other people, but we'd all survive.

It's totally different if you're hanging out with people that you "get" and whom "get" you. That's fun. That's rewarding. You're sharing and growing and bonding.
 
fitftw

fitftw

Well-known member
Anrox said:
Totally agree agree with you. Hmmm, deserted island. :)
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If I were stranded on a deserted island, I think it would make SA worse, and you would probably be paranoid that someone is watching you constantly, and then you drive yourself insane with your thoughts and don't have anyone to share them with (us).
 
Ree_Ree

Ree_Ree

Active member
When I was around 9 years old, I seemed to be ok with socializing with other people. When I was around 11 years old, I was a little shy, but as time went by, I became me - a person who will jump through hoops to avoid social groups and new faces.
 
DekKO

DekKO

Well-known member
I feel you. It appears that people really just say the same things when they come up to eachother. "Hey." "How are you?" "Good, how are you?" "I'm good, thanks!" "I'll see you later." "Bye." It seems boring but that's how it works.
 
fitftw

fitftw

Well-known member
^ and that's what's weird to some of us. I prefer to avoid conversation if I can. But if I can't, I can act somewhat normal but it just feels stupid to me, like a waste of time sort of. That's why public speaking is kicking my behind right now.
 
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Feathers

Well-known member
^what Kiwong said

hanging out with fun creative inspiring people can be quite cool... or talking about common interests and plans.. it can be anywhere, even in a cafe/pub... (though I don't like the idea of being overheard in some of these places, sometimes. Depends what we're talking about...)

hanging just 'to hang out' or 'to be out and about' or 'to be seen' is just boring, mostly...
 
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Mishkabunny

New member
yeah, I usually only want to talk to people if there's an actual purpose, or establishes a deeper connection with them. Then I realized that sitting around making small talk is a stepping stone to being close enough with them to have a more meaningful relationship.

However, I can't figure myself out. I don't socialize with people too much, and I can't even tell anymore if it's because I truly don't want to, or that I've conditioned myself to avoid it.
 
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Mishkabunny

New member
lonely_drummer said:
So next time one of your friends asks you to just come "hang out" or go for coffee or something, just be like no, lets climb a tree, talk about the mysteries in the world and make annoying bird calls to the non suspecting people walking below, its quite fun actually.
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Ahh exactly. I miss the times when life was that silly and magical. It's like everyone I know "grew up" and don't know how to have fun any more.. :(
 
HeadFace

HeadFace

Well-known member
tooshytosay said:
I just can't stand "hanging out" with people - I find it extremely boring.

You know, just casually chatting with people, doing nothing much in particular, to me seems to be such a waste of time.

In that time, I'd rather go get more work done, or actually go do something I like to do. I just find your classic social occasions - chatting with people over a cup of coffee / meal, loosely "hanging out" with friends, going out for a drink - all mind-bogglingly boring. In those situations I watch the time go by and wish I was doing somethiing more "productive".

The irony is, all this makes me look like someone who wants to reject human contact and be alone. But that's not true - I still long for meaningful human contact and I wish there were some people I could enjoy being with. But at the same time, I hate "socializing" the way most people do. See the Catch-22? :(

Do people really enjoy "socializing" deep down? Or is socializing a "price to pay" in order to be with other people?
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I actually enjoy it, with the right people. Now I don't like parties, or dances, or anything like that. But there are maybe one or two people that I really do like "hanging out" with. Unfortuanetly, those people are the typical social butterfly. As in, they like to hang out in big numbers. I hate that. I like hanging out with 1 or 2 people at a time. And I only know one or two people I would actually consider hanging out with.

Other than that, no. I really cant stand hanging out with people in general unless its someone who I'm truely interested in, or some who I truely admire
 
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