Has Anyone Been Friendless

Requiescat

Well-known member
I have read many accounts of people being lonely, yet still having at least a few contacts to the outside world. How many of you have literally had no friends? How long may this have been the case?

As per myself, my last friendship ended August 2006. Approaching ten years! I saw him a few times after that, each occassion being very brief and the last of which occuring in May 2007. I am ashamed to say that I have been a recluse during that time with long periods of being housebound. Has anyone else gone through this?
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Pretty much most of my life to be honest.

Well, technically, ah'd say it's probably going on ten years as well. So, not since high school.
 

chibiXphantom

Well-known member
i didnt have any real friends through the majority of high school. since graduating, the only friends i've had were boyfriends. havent had any other friends until this year
 

Requiescat

Well-known member
ChibiXphantom, how did you establish those friendships after so long? If you don't mind my asking. Right now I am so isolated after such a prolonged period of time I don't even know where to begin to reconnect myself to society.
 

Marc7

Well-known member
I haven't had friends in i think three years :sad:. Well i been mostly housebound other than work and school these past years.
 
I have no friends other then online. Its been at least 6 or 7 years since I had one in real life. The older I get the harder it seem to be to make one
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
Not entirely. There are acquaintances that I could pursue as friends, but they initiate not me. There are people have been beyond kind to me.
 

iheart

Member
I don't have friends and go for long periods (years) in between boyfriends. It has been a lonely life.
 

arjuna

Well-known member
I had friends when I was little. Then I got traumatised and if fcked me up. I had a good friend in my adolescence but he moved country. In those few years we were together I had some of the best times ever. We used to meet every summer until about 10 years ago we had a fight and haven't spoken since.

Currently, I have no real friends, just people I sometimes talk to and who I get on with. Also, I've never had a girlfriend.

Luckily, though, I think my personality is nice and even though I don't talk a lot, I think most people like me and would like to know me better.
 

Bo592

Well-known member
No friends here, I wish my whole life that their was some kind of action that I could take to make a friend. but nothing ever clear up still have no idea.
 

Requiescat

Well-known member
I'm sorry to hear that Arjuna! It would be great if one day you make up with that friend. I didn't exactly have a fight with my friend, but the relationship became very strained. In the end we were just growing apart and wanted to become drastically different people. Perhaps the drift could never have been averted regardless of the decisions I made but I do regret not trying. Something I lament was not being there enough for others, I was very wrapped up in my own problems. It frustrates me that now I have learned so much about being a good friend I don't have the opportunity to be that person.

Bo, love the avatar! A man of impeccable taste I see! I don't know what to say, I wish there was a silver bullet solution to all of this. What specifically do you struggle with? Is it more the anxiety or not knowing how to handle conversation? I hope you don't mind me prying :p
 

deadair

Member
right now, in the process of severing ties with a long time friend. For the first time in my life, I will be friendless. Been making all the efforts, and I've just had it with the amount of apathy being shown to me. Good riddance!
 

Requiescat

Well-known member
right now, in the process of severing ties with a long time friend. For the first time in my life, I will be friendless. Been making all the efforts, and I've just had it with the amount of apathy being shown to me. Good riddance!

That's understandable DeadAir. Bad company definitely isn't worth keeping. I gave up a lot of friendships because of their penchant for gossiping and lying. It seemed that nobody could grasp the concept of loyally, or just didn't have the character to commit to it. So I can relate to some of that. I hope you do find a good group of friends though! Don't make the same mistake I made a replaced something with nothing, especially over a long period of time. This could be the perfect opportunity to branch out in a new direction which will bring a different type of person into your life, who knows. But there are so many things out there. Whatever you decide to do, best of luck with it and good riddance to the chaff; they don't deserve your friendship! :)
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
same here, and frankly I don't see any need to make friends

Ah don't if it's due to me being unable to connect with folk on more than a superficial level, or the fact most people huv routinely treated me like crap an' been überc**ts towards me? But ah've came to the same conclusion, Jungle.
 

Requiescat

Well-known member
To each their own I guess, but for me I don't like what loneliness brings out in me. I can be quite mechanical and ruthless if I start to slip into dehumanization mode. I hate feeling like that. True isolation can completely warp your character in my opinion. But then there are others who are fine I suppose, perhaps being a 'Type A' person makes me susceptible to the negatives.
 

nicole1

Well-known member
I feel that way now. I try to reach out here and there, but mostly I don't want to be bothered with friendships. They are too complicated and my ability to handle such complications has diminished over the years.

I do feel lonely from time to time, though. But then I remember the things I had to deal with. I have some people I some what stay in contact with but none are really considered my friends anymore.
 

Argentum

Well-known member
Yes, although I talk to a few people online who live states or a continent away. I have trouble sympathizing with people who think "being friendless" means being alone for a weekend or rejecting your own friends constantly. I wouldn't expect any starving people to identify with my problem of not feeling like eating pasta for the third night in a row, though.

I've put myself out there and people I've talked to on Skype say I sound normal and not awkward, but the constant failure made me depressed. All that work to change and no payoff. I stopped trying. I avoid getting too detached by listening to podcasts, participating in discussions and critique circles, and keeping a couple online friends.
 
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