Have you ever lost yourself to a crush?

grapevine

Well-known member
I really need some sound advice (once again).

Im in tears after every time I see this person - because their not acting friendly enough or ignore me or dont seem to care if I go etc.

Its just really, really, really getting to me - to the point where I feel like I have completely lost myself now. Im not interested in things I used to be interested in anymore, but i seem to fixate on how interesting this crush's life seems better than mine.

Can someone pleeeeaaase tell me how to get over a crush that doesnt like you- someone who you have to work with.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I think a crush I had 15 years ago, crushed me, and was the beginning of my anxiety. I never realised showing your feelings to someone could lead to such devastation of the spirit when it was unrequited
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
Whenever you find yourself being more into them than they are into you, shut it all down and walk.

It's better to be alone than heart sick and ashamed.
 

Xervello

Well-known member
Once you get "lost" in a crush, I think it is hard to find your way out, with lostness being a good metaphor. My first thought would be to just remove the person from your life, and in time the crush will leave.

If that's not an option, just try not feeding it. Actively try not to see the person romantically. What I want to say is "don't have a crush on them" but I know that's sort of what you're asking for help on I think, so probably not helpful. I'd try to just keep them out of mind. Don't fantasize about them, stay off their facebook, tune them out when they talk about life at work. Unless you plan on asking them out, you just want to get them out of your head. And really, dating someone you sort of obsess over might not be the healthiest thing either.

I think vj is spot-on. Especially the last, that dating someone you sort of obsess over might not be the healthiest thing. Because if you did, it would be ALL about them for you. In the short run that might be what you want, but soon you'll start getting frustrated, heartbroken and feeling low self-confidence once more. If not worse than before. Focus your attention elsewhere, as improbable as that sounds.

I once had a crush, in fact two, that led me to month-long depressions. The only way I got out of them was by cutting off communication. And it was them who severed ties, so it's not like it took much willpower on my part. For that month afterward it felt like I was mourning the death of a loved one. The first day was unbelievably awful. As was the next. And the next. The first week was hell. The second was a little less bad. The third a little less so. Eventually I started moving on. There were bumps in the road, but I got through it. Now those crushes don't bother me anymore. So it is possible to heal from them.
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
It's probably one of the hardest things you'll have to do. But it's probably best to remove them from your life.
 

mantishugo

Well-known member
It is very hard to conquer the feelings when you see your crush with someone else. It is important that you don't react on the basis of temporary feelings as it may ruin your image and whatever relationship you have left with that person. Take some time, relax, drink a glass of Noni Juice, and find someone else in your life. The only way to get over your feelings is to love somebody else.
 
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