this-is-y-im-hot
Member
There are many things that life can throw your way, yet people seem to forget the only thing in your life which is enternal, and will ALWAYS be in your life.. is the relationship you have with yourself!
many people dedicate their lives to self exploration, looking 'deeper' within, trying to find are deepist selfs, usualy because we are trying to find something, anything, but ourselfs we curently we see. this is true because, otherwise, why would we think to do such a journey?
a psychologist once wrote that to much time spent looking within ourselfs, trying to learn about ourselfs actualy retards ones own development. i believe this to be very true. If we spend to much time trying to look at the within r selfs right now, this very second, before you know it time has ticked fowards and 2 months later we are still looking for ourselfs which was existant two months ago, we have not moved foward.
I think the best thing i have ever been told is not to think. you get a thought in your head. dont try and work through why you have it, what caused it, and what your gonna do about it. Bhudism teaches us that we should not be swayed by our thoughts, we should merely observe them as natural cues, rather than for full hearted meaning. yes this feeling has occured, we r human..we react, but dont dwell on it.
I think the problem that alot of people face is infact over analysing situations, and creating our own meaning to them, rather than simply excepting are gut feeling about them. People these days to infact fear people, to say this is to say that you infact fear yourself. you fear your on capabilities to cope in the external world, and any draw backs disturbs your internal world.
when i say external world, i dont merely mean what you can see. i mean external cues eg when you see a coulour, what feeling you then get of that colour. this is ur external world, it is yours because only you have had that feeling from that coulour you have seen, it is no ones elses. Your internal world is therefore your interpretation of what you have just seen. The more we begin to understand this, the more we begin to understand the true power we have over EVERYTHING we feel and do.
What i am trying to get is... many people try and overcome shyness by:
modeling the behavior of someone percieved as outgoing/not shy.
ignoring your internal world, only concentrating on the external in hopes of some how not feeling anxiety.
ignoring your external world and trying to be outgoing no matter what the situation or 'trying to work through it'
Truth is. the only way you are ever going to be happy is by learning not to let your internal or external world sway you, which fair play, it is easier said than done. but if you do feel shy in a situation, punishing yourself for it, is almost like punishing YOUR basic insticts, which infact then damages your self esteem, because what your saying to yourself is 'i dont trust my own emotions'. and also, the more you try and fight the way you feel, the more anxiety and stress you are creating on your body, if we relax and think got i feel nervous! you are being true to yourself and everyone around you.
NO ONE is 100% happy with themselves. NO ONE! who ever tells you this is a lie. we all have hang ups, and we all wish we could have traits we see in other people. but what put people in to two catorgories are.
1) the people who except their flaws and are honest with themselves and others about it, but ofcourse see no harm in trying to improve on their flaws, but in a non damaging way. They dont deney themselves their rights to their own feelings but they try to be rational.
2) the people who cannot except their flaws and are envious of others for not having the same flaws and dismiss that other people too have hardships. they fight their emotions and in doing so never grow on their talents, but insted wollow in their weaknesses.
Truth is. People who spend alot of time thinking 'they dont like me' or 'they think this about me' are just as egotistic as those who all they do is talk about themselves! because they both have one thing in common. they think that people are wrapped up in them. the difference is the person who speaks about themselves is proberly aware they place alot of importance on themselves, the ones who think about themselves in terms that over people r thinking about them are usualy not aware of this. also one is very damaging to the self esteem, the other is not.
i am sorry for the lengh this has taken me, but i hope you have found a few points to build on and explore on and to try.
many people dedicate their lives to self exploration, looking 'deeper' within, trying to find are deepist selfs, usualy because we are trying to find something, anything, but ourselfs we curently we see. this is true because, otherwise, why would we think to do such a journey?
a psychologist once wrote that to much time spent looking within ourselfs, trying to learn about ourselfs actualy retards ones own development. i believe this to be very true. If we spend to much time trying to look at the within r selfs right now, this very second, before you know it time has ticked fowards and 2 months later we are still looking for ourselfs which was existant two months ago, we have not moved foward.
I think the best thing i have ever been told is not to think. you get a thought in your head. dont try and work through why you have it, what caused it, and what your gonna do about it. Bhudism teaches us that we should not be swayed by our thoughts, we should merely observe them as natural cues, rather than for full hearted meaning. yes this feeling has occured, we r human..we react, but dont dwell on it.
I think the problem that alot of people face is infact over analysing situations, and creating our own meaning to them, rather than simply excepting are gut feeling about them. People these days to infact fear people, to say this is to say that you infact fear yourself. you fear your on capabilities to cope in the external world, and any draw backs disturbs your internal world.
when i say external world, i dont merely mean what you can see. i mean external cues eg when you see a coulour, what feeling you then get of that colour. this is ur external world, it is yours because only you have had that feeling from that coulour you have seen, it is no ones elses. Your internal world is therefore your interpretation of what you have just seen. The more we begin to understand this, the more we begin to understand the true power we have over EVERYTHING we feel and do.
What i am trying to get is... many people try and overcome shyness by:
modeling the behavior of someone percieved as outgoing/not shy.
ignoring your internal world, only concentrating on the external in hopes of some how not feeling anxiety.
ignoring your external world and trying to be outgoing no matter what the situation or 'trying to work through it'
Truth is. the only way you are ever going to be happy is by learning not to let your internal or external world sway you, which fair play, it is easier said than done. but if you do feel shy in a situation, punishing yourself for it, is almost like punishing YOUR basic insticts, which infact then damages your self esteem, because what your saying to yourself is 'i dont trust my own emotions'. and also, the more you try and fight the way you feel, the more anxiety and stress you are creating on your body, if we relax and think got i feel nervous! you are being true to yourself and everyone around you.
NO ONE is 100% happy with themselves. NO ONE! who ever tells you this is a lie. we all have hang ups, and we all wish we could have traits we see in other people. but what put people in to two catorgories are.
1) the people who except their flaws and are honest with themselves and others about it, but ofcourse see no harm in trying to improve on their flaws, but in a non damaging way. They dont deney themselves their rights to their own feelings but they try to be rational.
2) the people who cannot except their flaws and are envious of others for not having the same flaws and dismiss that other people too have hardships. they fight their emotions and in doing so never grow on their talents, but insted wollow in their weaknesses.
Truth is. People who spend alot of time thinking 'they dont like me' or 'they think this about me' are just as egotistic as those who all they do is talk about themselves! because they both have one thing in common. they think that people are wrapped up in them. the difference is the person who speaks about themselves is proberly aware they place alot of importance on themselves, the ones who think about themselves in terms that over people r thinking about them are usualy not aware of this. also one is very damaging to the self esteem, the other is not.
i am sorry for the lengh this has taken me, but i hope you have found a few points to build on and explore on and to try.
