DaaaBulls
Well-known member
I just wanted to urge anyone that is not doing anything about these problems to try and seek help. About a year and a half ago I was a total mess. I was just starting my 3rd year in college away from home and pretty much had a breakdown after a couple of weeks at college. I felt like complete dog poop, I didn't like myself, I felt really really alone, I didn't have anyone that I felt truly cared for me (including my family). I knew that I would never commit suicide, I was only 20 years old and just want so mch more out of life to ever do it. I went from what I would consider rock bottom, no true friends, I had grown way apart from my family, even though I lived in a house with four other guys I still felt alone all the time, was depressed all the time, started having really bad social anxiety.
Now, I still feel down from time to time but in no way like it use to be. I have to credit a lot of it to the medication my doctor prescribed to me. It's Wellbutrin, if you have tried it or heard bad things about it let me tell you why it's good. First off it's not an SSRI so it won't affect your sexual life, it actually is used to offset the SSRI's effect so it actually helps sexual desires. Second it can be used as a weight loss strategy as well. I read about a lot of your who are trying to lose weight so you can gain confidence, well if it weren't for Wellbutrin I wouldn't be in the best shape I have ever been in. I used to basicly be addicted or have ocd about food. I would constantly think about food, every minute I would be thinking about what I could eat that would satisfy me, I use to starve myself and would binge so I would always be bingeing and say I will start eating healthy tomorrow, but I just kept bingeing and would gain a lot of weight. I want to say this medication cut my appetite in half but it actually probably cut it even more than in half. I no longer obsess about food, food no longer runs my life and controls my thoughts. The third good thing about the medication is it really doesn't make me a zombie at all, I still feel like myself, not really spacey or anything like SSRI's. Fourth is that instead of affecting syritonin or however you spell it it affects your dopimine levels, again bad spelling. Basicly dopimine affects your mood, energy levels, etc. One of my main problems I had was that I was always tired. ALWAYS. I would wake up at 11 or noon and be ready for a nap at 1:30. No matter how much sleep or how little sleep I was always tired, had no energy at all, never wanted to do anything. Now I have waaaay more energy, I am not as fatigued, I actually want to do stuff, and I am no longer tired all day except for when I sleep in too late. The last thing about Wellbutrin is that it is derived from the same stuff that cocaine is made from, which I thought was cool because hell it's prescription.
The other thing I wanted to mention was how much therapy has helped me. If nothing else just go to see one just to spill your guts to them and get everything off of your mind. TRUST ME. Instead of replaying stuff in your head and trying to find the answer to stuff that happened either today or 5 years ago it's just good to tell someone so you can let it go. I really think this helped me in such a huge way, I cannot even describe how much it helped me. If I hadn't gone to see someone that wasn't a family member, just someone who is there to talk and listen without judging then I would still be in the same place I was a year and a half ago, guaranteed.
One more thing, try to do something that makes you feel empowered. Go sign up for a class at a community college or something like that, go and once a week help at a recreation park to clean a forrest or something. This will make you feel much better about yourself, since most of us walk out the door and everyone we see we believe it better than us, by doing something that hardly anyone else does, something that is harder than the usual, it makes you feel empowered. My thing was that I was having some issues with my family and since I couldn't get my student loan this year I had to live at home, well I pretty much got into a bunch of small fights and left home and lived out of my car for a little over 3 weeks. When I did this my social anxiety went from being a 9 on a scale of 1-10 to a 3. I felt so much more empowered because I felt like I was doing something that not that many people would or could do. It was an experience that really changed my life and I found out a lot about stuff. My anxiety had gotten so out of control that I was scared to buy something at a store because I would be nervous buying something, or scared to walk into work because I didn't want to say "hi" to anyone. I still get a little bit of that but it's a lot better. You have to keep going out and talking and being around people, as hard as it is. Don't look at it like you have to have this great conversation, look at it like you talked to someone. Period. It doesn't matter what was said. Once you get over being around people start to talk more and more. Don't analyze what or how you said something, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you don't analyze it. I was analyzing everything, then I realized that what is going to change me from doing that is not to worry about what or how something is said, but that I don't analyze it afterward. Make that your goal, not to make the other person laugh, or to be interesting, just to not analyze the conversation. If you do it then don't get down on yourself just keep trying. Eventually, a month, a few months, a year, you won't even be thinking about analyzing anything because you have trained your brain not to. Now you won't be so worried if your hello sounded sincere or not.
I hope if anything this helps just one person, if it helps more than awesome.
Now, I still feel down from time to time but in no way like it use to be. I have to credit a lot of it to the medication my doctor prescribed to me. It's Wellbutrin, if you have tried it or heard bad things about it let me tell you why it's good. First off it's not an SSRI so it won't affect your sexual life, it actually is used to offset the SSRI's effect so it actually helps sexual desires. Second it can be used as a weight loss strategy as well. I read about a lot of your who are trying to lose weight so you can gain confidence, well if it weren't for Wellbutrin I wouldn't be in the best shape I have ever been in. I used to basicly be addicted or have ocd about food. I would constantly think about food, every minute I would be thinking about what I could eat that would satisfy me, I use to starve myself and would binge so I would always be bingeing and say I will start eating healthy tomorrow, but I just kept bingeing and would gain a lot of weight. I want to say this medication cut my appetite in half but it actually probably cut it even more than in half. I no longer obsess about food, food no longer runs my life and controls my thoughts. The third good thing about the medication is it really doesn't make me a zombie at all, I still feel like myself, not really spacey or anything like SSRI's. Fourth is that instead of affecting syritonin or however you spell it it affects your dopimine levels, again bad spelling. Basicly dopimine affects your mood, energy levels, etc. One of my main problems I had was that I was always tired. ALWAYS. I would wake up at 11 or noon and be ready for a nap at 1:30. No matter how much sleep or how little sleep I was always tired, had no energy at all, never wanted to do anything. Now I have waaaay more energy, I am not as fatigued, I actually want to do stuff, and I am no longer tired all day except for when I sleep in too late. The last thing about Wellbutrin is that it is derived from the same stuff that cocaine is made from, which I thought was cool because hell it's prescription.
The other thing I wanted to mention was how much therapy has helped me. If nothing else just go to see one just to spill your guts to them and get everything off of your mind. TRUST ME. Instead of replaying stuff in your head and trying to find the answer to stuff that happened either today or 5 years ago it's just good to tell someone so you can let it go. I really think this helped me in such a huge way, I cannot even describe how much it helped me. If I hadn't gone to see someone that wasn't a family member, just someone who is there to talk and listen without judging then I would still be in the same place I was a year and a half ago, guaranteed.
One more thing, try to do something that makes you feel empowered. Go sign up for a class at a community college or something like that, go and once a week help at a recreation park to clean a forrest or something. This will make you feel much better about yourself, since most of us walk out the door and everyone we see we believe it better than us, by doing something that hardly anyone else does, something that is harder than the usual, it makes you feel empowered. My thing was that I was having some issues with my family and since I couldn't get my student loan this year I had to live at home, well I pretty much got into a bunch of small fights and left home and lived out of my car for a little over 3 weeks. When I did this my social anxiety went from being a 9 on a scale of 1-10 to a 3. I felt so much more empowered because I felt like I was doing something that not that many people would or could do. It was an experience that really changed my life and I found out a lot about stuff. My anxiety had gotten so out of control that I was scared to buy something at a store because I would be nervous buying something, or scared to walk into work because I didn't want to say "hi" to anyone. I still get a little bit of that but it's a lot better. You have to keep going out and talking and being around people, as hard as it is. Don't look at it like you have to have this great conversation, look at it like you talked to someone. Period. It doesn't matter what was said. Once you get over being around people start to talk more and more. Don't analyze what or how you said something, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you don't analyze it. I was analyzing everything, then I realized that what is going to change me from doing that is not to worry about what or how something is said, but that I don't analyze it afterward. Make that your goal, not to make the other person laugh, or to be interesting, just to not analyze the conversation. If you do it then don't get down on yourself just keep trying. Eventually, a month, a few months, a year, you won't even be thinking about analyzing anything because you have trained your brain not to. Now you won't be so worried if your hello sounded sincere or not.
I hope if anything this helps just one person, if it helps more than awesome.