Hi people!

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Solar

Active member
I´m new here, and I never imagined that such a site existed lol, Feel a little less lonelier now :D

I'm 24 years old and about to enter my exam year in an art academy. During my entire childhood I've always been labeled as the silent one, or the kid that doesn't talk or have a social life. And I havent had the confidence to do something about it. Even now... And my entire childhood I was like 'wtf is wrong with me! Why can't i change!'

And naturally I can't maintain conversations and relations with people. That's the main thing I hate.

I've always been scolded for this, it was as if noone knew social anxiety existed. And that made me feel like I was a failure, a mistake of nature or something. Until 2 years ago, when i started researching my condition.

That's it for introduction :)
 
F

Feathers

Well-known member
Hi Solar! :) Welcome!

Art academy sounds fun!

You can learn a lot about communication and such from books! I was kinda like you and then learnt to maintain conversations too much, lol!! (Of course it depends on the topic too, some things are really sooo easy!! Once you know about them, that is. Some may need more effort and may be a learning experience.. Art and music can open you up to people too, and you may meet more like-minded spirits there..)
 
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S

Solar

Active member
Thanks!


Feathers said:
Hi Solar! :) Welcome!

Art academy sounds fun!

You can learn a lot about communication and such from books! I was kinda like you and then learnt to maintain conversations too much, lol!! (Of course it depends on the topic too, some things are really sooo easy!!)
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Yeah It's incredibly fun, could be more fun if i could act differntly ;) could you name a book or 2?
 
F

Feathers

Well-known member
I'll try to look for a list, lol! :) There's a bunch of them that I read since being a teenager! Some will perhaps strike you as odd but have been really helpful to me. Some may just be in German or Slovenian or other languages and not in English.. It may be difficult to name just 2, especially as I don't know you that well.. (yet :)) Have you read any books on the topic already?
 
S

Solar

Active member
Feathers said:
I'll try to look for a list, lol! :) There's a bunch of them that I read since being a teenager! Some will perhaps strike you as odd but have been really helpful to me. Some may just be in German or Slovenian or other languages and not in English.. It may be difficult to name just 2, especially as I don't know you that well.. (yet :)) Have you read any books on the topic already?
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Ah okay, I don't mind reading odd books :p But I only know english and dutch. And I havent read an books yet, I still have to explore this site. ;)

But thanks in advance!
 
Mr.Moon

Mr.Moon

Well-known member
"Ignorance is bliss". That must be what them people who scolded you were going by.. Bah, I wish more people would understand that this isn't so easy to overcome.

Any who, welcome to SPW!
 
F

Feathers

Well-known member
Hey Solar!

These are just some of the books that I found helpful:

Dr Phyllis M. Shaw: Meeting People Is Fun :) (older tiny book but really good, our library had it, check if yours does too..)

Christian Weisbach & Ursula Dachs: Mehr Erfolg durch Emotionale Intelligenz (see if it's translated into your language/s too? Or if you can find other stuff on emotional intelligence? There's a website with tips and reviews of other books too..)

Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish: How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (for communicating with kids, but basically with everyone!! Really good, with comics! :))

Anne Dickson: A Woman in your Own Right (about assertiveness and dealing with criticism and anger etc. You will need this one if you get too good with communication techniques etc!)

Rick Brinkmann and Rick Kirschner: Dealing with People You Can't Stand :) actually about dealing with 'difficult' people, about clashing priorities, and a bit about what to do if/when one is 'difficult' too (there seem to be a few versions of this book, don't get the tiniest one, mine has about 240 pages)

the 'odder' ones may include
Martin Kojc: The Textbook of Life (about the power of thoughts & beliefs etc, quite powerful tiny volume, at the time I read it..)

Louise Hay: You Can Heal Your Life (introduced the importance of early years and one's thoughts etc, something I later read about in books on CBT)

Susannah & Leslie Kenton: Endless Energy (I really love the parts about charisma and about fashion/dressing up from within! not sure if some parts on nutrition are current though, a bit older book, still well worth reading if you can find it!)

Dr David Burns: The Feeling Good Handbook (introduces the basic concepts of CBT= cognitive behavioural therapy)

I also read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, it's an old classic but actually pretty good... (tips on Wikipedia too, if you google it - not sure if we can post links here..)

I read a bunch of other books too, some on NLP (=neuro linguistic programming) and on body language etc. You can check what your libraries have.. Students here have free access to other university libraries too, so the choice can be big..
At a time I read books on drama therapy (and education) and therapy too..

Some books are specifically for dating/relationships etc. I found some of those useful too, if you wish any tips I can post some too...

Happy reading! :) Also, it's good to observe a friend or roommate who's good at talking and sociable - I've learnt a lot from my roommates!
 
S

Solar

Active member
Feathers said:
Hey Solar!

These are just some of the books that I found helpful:

Dr Phyllis M. Shaw: Meeting People Is Fun :) (older tiny book but really good, our library had it, check if yours does too..)

Christian Weisbach & Ursula Dachs: Mehr Erfolg durch Emotionale Intelligenz (see if it's translated into your language/s too? Or if you can find other stuff on emotional intelligence? There's a website with tips and reviews of other books too..)

Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish: How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (for communicating with kids, but basically with everyone!! Really good, with comics! :))

Anne Dickson: A Woman in your Own Right (about assertiveness and dealing with criticism and anger etc. You will need this one if you get too good with communication techniques etc!)

Rick Brinkmann and Rick Kirschner: Dealing with People You Can't Stand :) actually about dealing with 'difficult' people, about clashing priorities, and a bit about what to do if/when one is 'difficult' too (there seem to be a few versions of this book, don't get the tiniest one, mine has about 240 pages)

the 'odder' ones may include
Martin Kojc: The Textbook of Life (about the power of thoughts & beliefs etc, quite powerful tiny volume, at the time I read it..)

Louise Hay: You Can Heal Your Life (introduced the importance of early years and one's thoughts etc, something I later read about in books on CBT)

Susannah & Leslie Kenton: Endless Energy (I really love the parts about charisma and about fashion/dressing up from within! not sure if some parts on nutrition are current though, a bit older book, still well worth reading if you can find it!)

Dr David Burns: The Feeling Good Handbook (introduces the basic concepts of CBT= cognitive behavioural therapy)

I also read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, it's an old classic but actually pretty good... (tips on Wikipedia too, if you google it - not sure if we can post links here..)

I read a bunch of other books too, some on NLP (=neuro linguistic programming) and on body language etc. You can check what your libraries have.. Students here have free access to other university libraries too, so the choice can be big..
At a time I read books on drama therapy (and education) and therapy too..

Some books are specifically for dating/relationships etc. I found some of those useful too, if you wish any tips I can post some too...

Happy reading! :) Also, it's good to observe a friend or roommate who's good at talking and sociable - I've learnt a lot from my roommates!
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Wow thank you very much Feathers! I'll try to see what I can achieve with these

Thanks for the effort!
 
EscapeArtist

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Hi, you should feel less lonely! This site has helped me tremendously, i'm sure there are many things that you never believed people would relate to you over, all the small nervous actions that you hide from people or the little thoughts and fears of minimal human contact... We know it!

It sucks that nobody was able to understand your condition. I was/am picked on a lot for it also by people who just don't get it...screw them! Welcome :D
 
EscapeArtist

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Feathers said:
Hey Solar!

These are just some of the books that I found helpful:

Dr Phyllis M. Shaw: Meeting People Is Fun :) (older tiny book but really good, our library had it, check if yours does too..)

Christian Weisbach & Ursula Dachs: Mehr Erfolg durch Emotionale Intelligenz (see if it's translated into your language/s too? Or if you can find other stuff on emotional intelligence? There's a website with tips and reviews of other books too..)

Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish: How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (for communicating with kids, but basically with everyone!! Really good, with comics! :))

Anne Dickson: A Woman in your Own Right (about assertiveness and dealing with criticism and anger etc. You will need this one if you get too good with communication techniques etc!)

Rick Brinkmann and Rick Kirschner: Dealing with People You Can't Stand :) actually about dealing with 'difficult' people, about clashing priorities, and a bit about what to do if/when one is 'difficult' too (there seem to be a few versions of this book, don't get the tiniest one, mine has about 240 pages)

the 'odder' ones may include
Martin Kojc: The Textbook of Life (about the power of thoughts & beliefs etc, quite powerful tiny volume, at the time I read it..)

Louise Hay: You Can Heal Your Life (introduced the importance of early years and one's thoughts etc, something I later read about in books on CBT)

Susannah & Leslie Kenton: Endless Energy (I really love the parts about charisma and about fashion/dressing up from within! not sure if some parts on nutrition are current though, a bit older book, still well worth reading if you can find it!)

Dr David Burns: The Feeling Good Handbook (introduces the basic concepts of CBT= cognitive behavioural therapy)

I also read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, it's an old classic but actually pretty good... (tips on Wikipedia too, if you google it - not sure if we can post links here..)

I read a bunch of other books too, some on NLP (=neuro linguistic programming) and on body language etc. You can check what your libraries have.. Students here have free access to other university libraries too, so the choice can be big..
At a time I read books on drama therapy (and education) and therapy too..

Some books are specifically for dating/relationships etc. I found some of those useful too, if you wish any tips I can post some too...

Happy reading! :) Also, it's good to observe a friend or roommate who's good at talking and sociable - I've learnt a lot from my roommates!
Click to expand...

Oo, that was a good post for everybody. Thanks for sharing all of that
 
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