Hopping along - Hoppy's journal - Page 8

coyote · 05-21-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoppy

An interesting article in Scientific American on stress on the higher brain function...

quite interesting

i seem to be one of those people that functions better under stress

left in peace, i gravitate towards the void of doing nothing at all

i then have to create a crisis situation in order to generate enough stress to propel me into action

seems that's the only way anything gets done

i can see why it would be exhausting to live with me

and why some people might choose not to

Hoppy · 05-22-2012

I've been thinking today about the Sanity Test, and all the questions they asked and my answers.

And it made me wonder if I gave the answers I did because I want to get that results?

And if I'm honest with myself?

If I could look at my life today with fresh eyes, would I really answer them the same way?

It would be nice to have someone to talk to to discuss this. I wish I could afford a therapist.

Hoppy · 05-22-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by coyote

left in peace, i gravitate towards the void of doing nothing at all

It is called laziness.

1BlackSheep · 05-22-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by coyote

quite interesting

i seem to be one of those people that functions better under stress

left in peace, i gravitate towards the void of doing nothing at all

i then have to create a crisis situation in order to generate enough stress to propel me into action

seems that's the only way anything gets done

i can see why it would be exhausting to live with me

and why some people might choose not to

This about sums me up as well!

1BlackSheep · 05-22-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoppy

It is called laziness.

I resemble that remark!

Hoppy · 05-22-2012

Another one from Ittybiz

Quote:

If an asteroid is flying through space, it won't ever stop.

It just keeps flying and flying until something stops it.

If it's hurtling, it'll hurtle.

If it's trucking, it'll truck.

If it's drifting, it'll drift.

Forever and ever and ever, until something happens to change it.

We in the industry refer to the agent of change as "the
Interplanetary Space Fairy".

The Interplanetary Space Fairy comes in the night and does
something magical to the asteroid and makes it move, or change
direction, or stop.

(Yes, there is totally nighttime in space.)

=-=-=-=

I've been noticing a trend among ittybiz owners.

OK, yes, I've been noticing it primarily in myself.

But that's only because I'm around me 24 hours a day.

You do it, too, I promise.

Let's say there's something you should be doing.

Actually, no.

Let's say there's something you WANT to be doing.

Hmm. That's not quite right either.

It would be more accurate to say that you want the results of
having done it.

Maybe it's optimizing for search engines.

Maybe it's following up with old customers.

Maybe it's getting off your ass and making some damn money already.

You find the task overwhelming, and when you consider beginning
work on it, you say:

"I'll get to it later."

(This is usually preceded by a guttural sound that, if spelled,
would look something like "ARGUKH".)

Now, I'm not coming out against putting things off. I'm actually a
huge fan of the practice.

(Some of my best friends put things off!)

I've found since childhood that in many cases, if you put something
off for long enough, someone else will do it for you.

Anecdotal evidence supports this.

When I sit in the corner and whine for iced tea for long enough,
yes, eventually Jamie or Dave or one of the ninjas will get one for
me.

The problem arises when I try to apply the same logic
indiscriminately.

If I sit in the corner and whine for a Facebook ad campaign, I
don't generally get the same result.

The problem with overwhelm
It seems that we, as ittybiz owners, have collectively agreed to
agree that the feeling of overwhelm is normal.

And we're right.

We've agreed that it's natural.

And we're right.

We've agreed that the only reasonable solution to overwhelm is to
ignore what we should be doing and find something funner to do
instead.

Not so fast there, tiger.

Because here's the thing.

If it's too hot to clean your oven, but the temperature will drop
20 degrees tomorrow, sure. Grab a beer and take a load off.

But if you live in Hawaii, it's not going to get any easier
tomorrow.

Or next month.

Or in 2015.

Nothing is ever going to change.

Same with ittybiz overwhelm.

And if you find it overwhelming today, you'll find it overwhelming
tomorrow.

When we start playing the "But it's so overwhelming!" card, we
don't stop to ask ourselves:

Do we have ANY evidence to support that it will be ANY less
overwhelming at ANY time in the future?

We do not.

"I will wait until it's less overwhelming," sounds perfectly
reasonable.

The perfectly synonymous "I will do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about this
until the overwhelm fairy comes in the night" somehow does not.

But isn't that what we say? If we're honest?

May I offer some suggestions?

If this is you, I offer two possible courses of action.

(If your overwhelm stems from lack of a solid plan, we have a class
for that in a few weeks, so sitting around and waiting for THAT is
a valid exemption. It's called Your Next 6 Months - watch for it.)

1. Every time you suffer from overwhelm-related procrastination,
say these words out loud in front of a mirror:

"I will do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about this until the overwhelm fairy
comes in the night."

Stand there and look at yourself until somebody blinks.

This is not to shame you or guilt you into action. This is to
assist you in reclaiming your status as an adult and taking full
responsibility for your plans and actions.

If your plan is to do nothing, look yourself in the eye and say so.

2. If that doesn't work, make a list of five to 10 things you've
been putting off due to overwhelm.

Find a supportive person, online or in real life. (If they're
online, schedule a quick Skype chat with them, ideally video so you
can see each other's faces.)

Read them your list, one item at a time.

After each item, pause for them to respond.

They should respond, "What is your plan for dealing with that?"

You should say:

"I will do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it until the overwhelm fairy
comes in the night."

Repeat with each item.

If your plan is to do nothing, look someone else in the eye and say
so.

On plans and acting like a grown-up
If you have a plan, own it.

Preach it.

Shout it from the rooftops.

If you wouldn't be comfortable shouting your plan from the
rooftops, perhaps it's time for a new plan.

Hoppy · 05-25-2012

And my brother is off on holiday, and I have to go and man his stall at the market.

I have done it before, but since good sales means talking to lot of people I will have to talk to a lot of people to make good sales. The talking I can handle, but I've noticed that the anxiety keeps mounting so that halfway through the morning I have to get away for a while to relax.

And I have to stand up at 3:30 am, and it is now winter. Sympathy would be appreciated.

Srijita52 · 05-25-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoppy

And my brother is off on holiday, and I have to go and man his stall at the market.

I have done it before, but since good sales means talking to lot of people I will have to talk to a lot of people to make good sales. The talking I can handle, but I've noticed that the anxiety keeps mounting so that halfway through the morning I have to get away for a while to relax.

And I have to stand up at 3:30 am, and it is now winter. Sympathy would be appreciated.

Wow that's ridiculously early, specially at winter. I hope everything goes well, good luck!

Hoppy · 05-26-2012

Thanks Sjirita. It is absolutely ridiculously early, but the market opens at 6, and it is surprising how many people there are.

Sales was about average, nothing special, but at least not bad. I talked to lots of people, the only time I started to panic was when I started getting stomach cramps. I used to have it a lot in the old days, but realising what it was and a few deep breaths made it go away.

And a thing I've noticed before, do not judge people on their looks. You cannot know what a person will be like until you've talked to him/her. Children are always surprising, and age is absolutely no indicator of what will come out of a person's mouth.

And I looked at a lot of women, but more about it later.

Hoppy · 05-27-2012

There has been a lot of agonising on this forum in the past about looks and beauty, so a few thoughts on that.

I talked to a lot of people Saturday, and had a look at a lot of women, and came to the following very superficial conclusions. (I had a lot of time to think )

There are a few types of females: (looking from the relationship viewpoint)

The obviously beautiful ones - 1%
These are the ones when they approach, I stare at

The less obviously beautiful ones - 2%
Those I looked past at first and after a few moments realise I am missing something and have to look again.

The normal ones - 97%
The general sort of female, I am aware of their existance, but doesn't really look, except for a few factors:

Age: The ones obviously older than me I miss.

Well dressed: by that I mean the picture I see is good, not just wearing whatever came up in rotation,

Strangely dressed : I tend to like hippies and goths, I admire their guts to dress the way they do.

Communication: The women who talked to me can be divided into two groups:

The ones that as the conversation continue, I become more interested in, 20%.
The ones that as the conversation continues, I become less interested in, 80%.

Availability: Walking alone or with a group of females make you much more appealing than walking with a male.

The ugly ones - 0%
It may sound strange to you, but I haven't seen a single female I would classify as ugly.

In the end I should guess that only about 10% of all the females I have seen, I would be interested in. Adjusting for age, I would guess that number would drop to about 7% .

So for any female out there who are interested in getting me: Dress neatly , be at least my age or younger, and talk to me. And the only one that is really important is the talking bit.

And for any female out there who believes she is ugly: No, you are not.